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Question for the D types

LongerJohnny​(dom male)
2 years ago • Oct 12, 2021
LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Oct 12, 2021
ButterfliesAndCuffs wrote:
Figured I’d update. Today is a week since I asked him again about getting a coffee or drink and he never brought it up again.
So yesterday I told him I wanted to slow down until we were actually dating in person for a while. Let’s just say it didn’t go well and that situation is over. It went about how I thought it would really.


It is regrettable that it ended the way it did. But you stood up for yourself, did what you felt you had to do, and you got an answer.
Yes, it is better to have found out now than not until after you have invested in a relationship.
As long as you remain open to the idea of meeting and first dating someone in person you (you) will have no problem finding a solid relationship, bdsm or otherwise.
FirmbutGentle​(dom male)
2 years ago • Nov 17, 2021
FirmbutGentle​(dom male) • Nov 17, 2021
As some other Dom men have already pointed out, am perfectly fine if a sub girl wants to make the first move. Granted- it should be the man who first initiates, it conveys his self-confidence and assertiveness. But let's face it, some of us guys just don't have a clue at times that a girl has taken a liking to us and need a bit of a hint for us to go- doh! She digs me. LoL
Looking back on a few times a girl made the first move with me, and they've actually been really cute, it was very flattering.
What isn't flattering is needy and desperate from an unattractive stalker-type girl. Have had those experiences too- run away! Run away!
ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female)
2 years ago • Nov 17, 2021
FirmbutGentle wrote:
As some other Dom men have already pointed out, am perfectly fine if a sub girl wants to make the first move. Granted- it should be the man who first initiates, it conveys his self-confidence and assertiveness. But let's face it, some of us guys just don't have a clue at times that a girl has taken a liking to us and need a bit of a hint for us to go- doh! She digs me. LoL
Looking back on a few times a girl made the first move with me, and they've actually been really cute, it was very flattering.
What isn't flattering is needy and desperate from an unattractive stalker-type girl. Have had those experiences too- run away! Run away!


Well I’m pretty sure I’m not the stalker type. 😆 In fact I’m more likely to cut and run when the interest stops. I don’t really have a huge issue with say messaging someone first, but I prefer it the other way around. When I’m into a man, believe me he knows it. Haha

That’s why so many potential Doms are frustrating to me. Don’t keep telling me how badly you want to see me. Make it happen.
Sorry that wasn’t all directed to you. lol Just looks that way since I quoted.
Max Heathen​(other male)
2 years ago • Nov 18, 2021
Max Heathen​(other male) • Nov 18, 2021
Personally, I find it more intriguing when a potential messages me. Mainly because most won't and I like to know that a potential has the guts to speak up and be heard. You might think you have my attention but I flirt all the time with multiple persons even friends so to me assuming I know is usually the worst move a potential can make. I tend to put my eyes on the one who is making the most "noise" and just because I'm talking with you doesn't mean you are interested, for all I know you are just harmlessly flirting just like me.
It also doesn't help that I'll send out 20 mails asking curious questions to find a potential and maybe 1 out of 20 will even answer back So while women want a Dom/Master to make those first moves, it get's discouraging to even try. You don't know where I'm at in the motivational pool, nor do I know where you are so I advise to take that chance, ask them out. While saying you want traditional roles, it's my feeling that is only because you fear the rejection without ever taking a chance. Just because you had to ask once doesn't mean they/I won't chase after words, it may just be that men on a general are told do this then immediately don't do that very same thing. Getting the date set up is confusing af!

With that said, I'm now 51 and I don't really give a fuk if I'm saying the politically correct things or if it's something you like. Minds tend to change like the wind and life is too damn sort to not try. So if you want something... man up buttercup. Ask. The worst that can happen is they say no.
Masque​(dom male)
2 years ago • Nov 19, 2021
Masque​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2021
I don't mind someone I've been chatting with asking me out. I'm typically the one who makes the move, but I tend to be fairly deliberate and take maybe more time than is needed evaluating someone, so them asking just kind of steps up that portion of the time table. If nothing else, it lets me know they're ready to go out even if I'm still unsure of them so I know they'll likely be receptive when I do ask.