Strictly Online D/s Relationship 1:1 Pros and Cons

Master Raf​(dom male) • Jan 4, 2022

One can express opinions without denigrating the opinions of others.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jan 4, 2022

Not on here, the usual voices banging the one twue, only way drum.

Online works for many, and is valid, for others it doesn't and that is fair enough.

For many the lack of physical touch is the killer, and that is a very hard thing to get past. For others their particular activity, skill can't translate to an online medium, and there is no way round that.

I think it is entirely valid for anyone to say I can't get what I need out of an online situation, but when that is accompanied by dismissing, ridiculing words, words that put a position forward that anyone doing online is somehow lesser, well that's not valid. Its also not true that only cheaters operate online, plenty of them out there in the in person environment too. Also not true that predators only operate online. There are some very bitter nasty people about, that sadly can't express their views with out seeking to attack and tear people down, that's a shame.

I started off online, many, many years ago, then after a few months moved into in person spaces and mostly operated in person for many years before I met a few interesting people, and with them did what I did online, it worked well. Three years ago I met someone special on here and as I have said before had a wonderful time with her, all online. There was a depth to things I had not experienced before in any of my in person experiences. Now this was not a case of online being a perfect medium, but more a case of two people meeting who got on like a house on fire and made it work for as long as was possible. It was wonderful and it was all online.

I am now in a position where I am involved with a number of people in person, and currently not anything online, except in regards to keeping contact/maintaining those dynamics, but I would certainly not dismiss getting involved in an only online thing again. For myself I do not have to have physical touch, and I have plenty of things I enjoy doing that can be done via an online medium, and exploring headspaces is wonderful.

For those that can't do this, you absolutely have a right to state that for yourselves it doesn't work, I respect that, but you have no right to attack others, dismiss and deride those who make it work and enjoy it, I have zero respect for those that do that, often the case on these threads, and often coming from the same places.

Max Heathen​(other male) • Jan 4, 2022

To me, the pro's of Strictly On-Line means you are not bound to any agreements and free to do what you wish, whenever, with whom ever. Also, Online keeps the control in each person's hand. At anytime wherein the situation seems to be going in a direction you do not favor, simply log off and move on.

Con's: It's a fantasy relationship with little to no depth. Its rarely quality time more than it is slotted time which may be a pro to some. It's limited by your partners imagination which can become rather boring in a short term.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Jan 5, 2022

You've noted that your "con" example may actually be a "pro" for some people. I think your "pro" example can just as easily be a "con" for some of us. It's interesting how discussions like this simply reinforce what a diversified group of people we are and equally fascinating to see the hackles rise on both sides when they assume they're being criticized. In cases like this, there is no right or wrong but the perception seems to be whichever side is the more strident and vocal "wins" this debate. The kink community is no different than any other when it comes to defensiveness and a tendency to parse information to support their own leanings.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Jan 5, 2022

This right here. I spent too many hours, days, weeks and months in IRC rooms back in their heyday and this is all it ever amounted to for ME. My first *real life* dom (who I later married) found me on eBay of all places. But not in a chat room.

I used FetLife to connect with a local play partner just a few weeks ago and we had two 'nilla dates that included nothing more than discussing soft and hard limits, potential triggers and just enjoying getting to know each other a bit. We've since had two kinky play dates and the door has opened. So online CAN be useful for *me* as a doorway into my room but it won't decorate it.

No Body​(dom male) • Jan 6, 2022

Pro - When there is someone else (a vanilla BF or husband) you are not a threat to them as you are not a part of daily homelife. She/he has his family but also has you that is needed in their life but only in a phycological way. You give them something they can't get from anyone close to them and are not a threat to their partnership.

Con - You are not there to hold them when they need a shoulder or to put yourself between them and who or what may be threatening them. The biggest problem is not being able to hunt down and beat anyone who may have hurt them.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Jan 6, 2022

Pros: If you happen to live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, population 12, and you can't move away, you likely have no other choice other than an on-line dynamic. Or an on-line anything.

Con: As most have already said there is no substitute for physical contact.

Master Raf​(dom male) • Jan 7, 2022

To each their own. And thank goodness. I am not insecure enough to denigrate or criticize the preferences of others.

A Cloud​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 8, 2022

Pro: it can be a new and rich learning experience. I deliberately state this in broad terms as there are many intentions and ways to learn.

Con: Online format has limitations and I think it is difficult to deeply know the other person and maintain a strong bond. (This is my inexperienced opinion speaking). In 'real life' (I hate this terminology but have no other), couples living together will often not know the other but online poses more limitations on really understanding each other.

I don't know much anyway so....... I just do whatever takes my fancy.

Master Raf​(dom male) • Jan 8, 2022

I agree and like the non judgmental way you expressed it. Bravo.