Judgemental people

Steellover​(sub male) • Jan 17, 2022

I try not to judge people on their kinks. I recognize that it can be harder than it seems, if one person's kink is really not your thing, or you find it "gross" or distasteful. I am a submissive male with certain kinks that I know right off, are going to make some people uncomfortable, so the least I can do is try to respect other's sexual preferences- even though I may not understand them.

I do judge people on their character. Whether or not they are a good, moral or compassionate person. I have no problem with judging people in this manner. If someone posts that they get off on ripping people off or stealing, or if they make blatantly racist, trolling, or homophobic posts- then yes, I am going to judge them, and it won't be a very positive judgement.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Jan 17, 2022

And also avoid people who love to make a mockery of the entire lifestyle through their snide commentary and "sharp wit". It seems to be a favored vehicle among some people on various forms of social media these days. Tiresome, but prevalent nonetheless.

I'mME • Jan 18, 2022

I find it odd that when people step into the kink, Bdsm, D/s world, their expectations of human beings becomes one if thinking everyone is welcoming, open, tolerant, kind of like a unicorn.
Human beings are human no matter where you go in life, , what subset group y9u chose to join, school, job, etc. I m2an cone on look at church. Lol.
There are self described Doms (who are really just men who are abusive under the guise of D, as well as self-described subs and slaves who just like the idea of someone pulling their hair, wearing a collar, or just saying those words.

For the OP, perhaps you sh9uld hold off on telling all your business to what you deem nilla people.
@taramafour
Not all people who judge do so because they have fear. Some people are just fucking assholes and nothing will change that.

For me, I don't give a damn what others think about me. That only changes if I care about someone. I am open to people being people, the only time I will stop someone in their tracks if I see them being mean to someone whom for whatever reason at the time can NOT stand for themselves.

I do not like organizational atmospheres because there is always ostracism present, or looks "you are not doing that correctly, or you do not have the right clothes on, or, or "

I think that is ridiculous behavior. But mostly it contributes to me not wanting to be around people that or picking them apart, then guess who the bad guy is.

So to OP, please don't wear rose colored glasses, you will end up getting hurt or someone will out you to the wring people.

I'mME • Jan 18, 2022

I find it odd that when people step into the kink, Bdsm, D/s world, their expectations of human beings becomes one if thinking everyone is welcoming, open, tolerant, kind of like a unicorn.
Human beings are human no matter where you go in life, , what subset group y9u chose to join, school, job, etc. I m2an cone on look at church. Lol.
There are self described Doms (who are really just men who are abusive under the guise of D, as well as self-described subs and slaves who just like the idea of someone pulling their hair, wearing a collar, or just saying those words.

For the OP, perhaps you sh9uld hold off on telling all your business to what you deem nilla people.
@taramafour
Not all people who judge do so because they have fear. Some people are just fucking assholes and nothing will change that.

For me, I don't give a damn what others think about me. That only changes if I care about someone. I am open to people being people, the only time I will stop someone in their tracks if I see them being mean to someone whom for whatever reason at the time can NOT stand for themselves.

I do not like organizational atmospheres because there is always ostracism present, or looks "you are not doing that correctly, or you do not have the right clothes on, or, or "

I think that is ridiculous behavior. But mostly it contributes to me not wanting to be around people that or picking them apart, then guess who the bad guy is.

So to OP, please don't wear rose colored glasses, you will end up getting hurt or someone will out you to the wring people.

nuli​(sub female){Unkolared} • Jan 19, 2022

funny enough the poeple i hang with and talk with are not judgmental. i block those types of people and piss them off by being me and going about my life. but one would think with the way this lifestyle is those that wish to live it would not be so dam judgmental

Ingénue{VK} • Jan 20, 2022

Thank you for your opinions, those who quoted me. I have found this community to be a supportive and enriching place in the development of my kink. Choosing what and who to give my attention to is key. And often, people who quote others in forum do so in order to either snark or echo chamber. It's really refreshing to see a lack of judgment on this thread and honest open engagement. You've improved my day

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jan 20, 2022

If you express extreme right wing, racist, homophobic, transphobic, gate keeping one twue way, support an abuser, dismiss and deride others valid consent based kink choices, yes I am going to judge you, and do so to the negative. I make no apology for that. I will challenge such behaviour, and views, and when appropriate I will report you. After that I will block, mute you and remove you from my experience on this site, as I don’t want contact, or such people around or near me.

There is nothing wrong in holding such people to account, and disliking their views. Why should people just because they are kinky not be held to account for horrible views. In that context judgement is acceptable, giving a by ball, turning a blind eye in such context is simply wrong.

A Cloud​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 20, 2022

A teacher said something to me once that I find applies to so many things. I feel it applies here.
"If your parents hate the art you're doing, then you're heading in the right direction."

To apply it here or life in general, I say to myself, "if you're not being judged, then you're doing something wrong."

Steellover​(sub male) • Jan 21, 2022

This is a huge issue with the forums on a certain erotic literature based site I subscribe to and post stories on (Not sure if allowed to mention the name?)

There is a small group of kink-friendly people there, but some of the forum posts from the "non-kink" erotic literature crowd literally make it seem like you are browsing Stormfront.org, EndDemocracyNow.org, or some such filth. I try to speak up against that garbage when I can, but sometimes it seems like I'm a voice in the wilderness.

LadySusweca​(dom trans woman) • Jan 21, 2022

The transphobia that exists is incredible.

I have given up because of it and just come to read blogs and forums now.