slave contracts

slave contracts

cynthiajoy • Sep 13, 2022

Has anyone used them; do they work?
Anything special that needs to be written in the contract?
Has anyone written something in a contract that they wish they hadn't?
What are the key points in a slave contract?

dollMaker​(dom male) • Sep 13, 2022

Firstly these types of Contracts, whatever the flavour, words used, are not, in any way shape or form legal documents. I see them as a visual representation of the discussion, agreement and consent given by two or more parties to each other. Its a setting out of responsibilities to each other, top to bottom, bottom to top and should I feel also include any rules and proportional punishments if such are broken.

I also feel strongly that these should not be cast in stone never to be changed or reviewed things. Its a good idea to also build into the agreement that the contract will be revisited and altered, amended on a regular basis. Dynamics and relationships over time, can and do evolve. Things wanted and not wanted can change. I have myself included limits etc as part of a contract, but not as fixed points but things that can be changed. I think again this gives a framework and its in black and white as to what the parties are agreeing to. Building in the times for review also a good idea, say after a month, 3 months, 6 and then regularly afterwards. Some will even build a duration of contract, with revisiting and renewing part of the dynamic.

I think if you see it as a framework of agreement, not rigid but adjustable, they are healthy useful things, but they should never be totemic, rigid or ever thought as being legal or binding. If things are not working out, and after renegotiation, failure to reach consensus occurs, then no matter what, no one should try and hold a contract over the other as something they have to adhere to if consent is no longer enthusiastically given for the basis of the dynamic that was built on the contract that has now ended.

There are contract templates available online, but I strongly feel these should be customised to suit the needs of the persons involved. Both parties should have an active part in creating the basis for what they are going to do.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Sep 13, 2022

Personally I do not believe in them. I find that what people are genuinely looking for is a guaranteed emotional outcome and that's just not viable in the real world. I also feel that if people have to write down their responsibilities and be held accountable by a piece of paper instead of to each other, then there are bigger problems in the relationship.


But that's just me

In my years I have seen this be used to abuse more than anything else.

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Sep 13, 2022

I see the contract I signed as a physical representation of the agreement between my Master and myself. Yes, it's not legally binding, but to me its my bond (pun anyone).

Yes there are "people" who use a contract as an excuse to be abusive, but those people are just that...abusive and it has nothing to do with a signed contract.

chattel​(sub female) • Sep 13, 2022

I have used them and feel they help clearly define expectations and limits

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Sep 13, 2022

I have used them in the beginning of my primary relationship and we did revise them regularly. I will admit this thread just poked my brain as I just remembered its been some years since we did revise ..opps.

I'm not a stickler for contracts. I can take them or leave them but I do find them kinda nice in a new union or situation. Some like them for everything, from casual play situations (set time) to collarings. I can see why some want them, it outlines expectations, sets boundaries and limits. For some its a comfort and constant reminder. For some, they are also like a love letter of commitment that just feel good to have on paper, like wedding vows. Who am I to not want that, *if* my submissive needs it to feel at peace.

Miki • Sep 14, 2022

Ther're about as valid as the participants are willing to abide by what's written.

They can even be fun, especially since they are not legally recognized or remotely enforceable so no one risks being sued if they decide to beat feet and move on.

They're a cute novelty item, though.

----------------------------------------

As I have never been nor will be in a relationship, I have never contemplated any "contracts", But likely would not.

It's kind of hard to "abide" by the stiplations of a decorative item... Reminds me of trying to be part of a polite audience for a half-ass magician.

Yeah, like when you can see the bunny's ears before he reaches into the hat to pull him out.

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Sep 14, 2022

I acknowledge that you are expressing your opinion, but calling a slave contract a "decorative piece of paper" and a "novilty item" is insulting. A lot of us take these contracts very seriously. They may not be legally binding, but it's a commitment to a relationship that should be taken seriously and not something entered into on a whim.

As by your own words, you "have never been nor will be in a relationship" so you should really reconsider stating your opinions on those who are, and those who have been, in commited relationships.

sexycurves​(switch female) • Sep 14, 2022

I've never been in a position to consider a contract like this.

However, I have discussed this topic with others and this is my opinion so far.

The idea of the contract is to remind you and them of what was agreed etc. It's sometimes difficult to remember everything that was said. It's also, perhaps easy to become complacent. So it's there to remind you.

I think they probably do work, especially at the beginning, but whether they do in the long run or not, I don't know.

The specific wording is, I think, decided between you and them. It doesn't have to be complicated and full of jargon.

I would, if it was me, insist on reviewing regularly, and include a time/date. Not only the kink times but also any time during the relationship/dynamic.

Like others have mentioned - this isn't a legally binding contract, and so, it's worth remembering that you aren't obliged to stay if you feel the dynamic/relationship has come to an end. Especially if boundaries, hard limits are crossed unexpectedly.

I hope you learn enough from all the comments you receive and wish you well on your journey.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Sep 14, 2022

We don’t use a contract in our dynamic, but we’re not in a M/s dynamic. I liked how MissBonnie described them like a love letter between the partners. I can see the appeal in that and also having the expectations and responsibilities clearly laid out.
Unfortunately I’ve seen some contracts that have seemed pretty one-sided and even abusive. One concern I always have are the ones that give financial control to the dominant. While the contracts are not legally binding, any money you’ve turned over to your dominant you’re not likely to get back if the relationship ends unless you have an actual legally binding contract that the money was a loan to be repaid. I hope I’ve worded that in a way that makes sense. I’m only on my first cup of coffee.