Tear your own heart out?

I'mME

1 year ago • Oct 14, 2022

B L O N D I E wrote:

I guess it depends on what you mean when you said you 'hurt' him. If you just ended it and walked away, there may be a chance you could explain by saying you got scared and you regret it. If you actually hurt him by doing something damaging, then I would suggest leaving him alone.

I hold the policy that, if someone says they aren't ready or pushes the other person away, it's because they really are not ready. Maybe something in your gut was telling you it wasn't right and you reacted. Either way, you weren't ready and there is value in honoring that.

B L O N D I E ,

That uncertainty, that nag , is overlooked so often. The other part can be what some Doms (are selling, which is the notion that it must be you, bc I am supercalifragilisticexpialidocious) .

I'mME

1 year ago • Oct 14, 2022

YvonneR wrote:

Blonde,
We were talking and I was looking into his lifestyle I really thought I could try it but with several slaves. One that is very important to him and a wife I just felting was to much for me. Yes he was a great guy but that is to many in a first time slave /Master relationship for me. The thing is there was a pull a connection and I broke it. I actually felt like I tore my heart out but I don't know if he was just saying I hurt him or if I did. I apologized and that is the end....

YvonneR,

You did not have any issues with turning off, it was not a fit for you (it would not be for many) and anyone who would shame you for that is not a Dom.

You are not in a race take your time to figure out what else may or may not be right ...

I'm proud of you for standing for what did not feel right.

B L O N D I E(sub female)

1 year ago • Oct 14, 2022

I agree with I'mME. I think it was pretty manipulative of him to say you hurt him when you were just taking care of yourself. You should never have to apologize for making a decision that was right for you. He should have respected your decision. You dodged a bullet there.

FlyingAlan(dom male)

1 year ago • Oct 14, 2022

Speaking from the Dominant side of view and from someone that is NOT looking to be married and enjoying being single and having options, it seems like you did the right thing.

First off, I tell new subs that there is a great chance that you WILL fall for the first Dom you really click with. It's hard not too when all of the sudden, everything makes sense when it hasn't for years, things click, probably the sex is amazing etc.. It's like all the stars line up for once like they never have before. It's hard to be that intimate with somebody and not fall for them, especially as most women tend to feel more from the heart more than men do.

Now having said all of that, you absolutely did the right thing. If that is something that Bothers you, gnaws at you, is a red flag to you, turns you off, or for whatever reason sharing just isn't for you. As a sub or slave that might want to hand over control and/or decision's, you MUST choose properly first and foremost. As much as I hear from submissives that they don't want to make a decision, before hand you must make sure you pick the right Dom/Master that fits you. That way you can then be comfortable that he is the right guy and it's the right arrangement that fits you for you to flourish as a submissive.

But now your Data set is a bit more complete. You know a bit more about what you do and do not like, what you are and are not willing to accept. Makes it a little easier to see the good ones from the chaff.