Instagram mistress scammers.

Instagram mistress scammers.

WooDY S​(sub male) • Feb 19, 2023

I am new to BDSM and have been trying to find myself a mistress/goddess to help me get into it. I have purchased things that i would never of dreamt of buying 4 months ago.
Anyway i have been inundated with friend requests from alleged mistresses..
After talking to them on insta for a while they get you to swap over to google chat or WhatsApp sometimes telegram too. They ask you constantly for a tribute fee varying from £75-£200.
I paid £150 tribute fee and was then asked to pay £250 for my own sex toys, which i did. I received video from her opening the box with toys in. However the day before she was due to come, she made the decision not to come. I have tried to contact her since and have heard nothing back.
Another one i paid £150 tribute fee. We arranged a meeting a couple of hours after i had finished work. Got to the address that she had given me and nobody was there. I waited an hour still nobody turned up.
There have been 4 other occasions with other mistresses and I'm about £1000 out of pocket.
Can't work out if I'm unlucky with my choices or stupid for beinv drawn in by them

dollMaker​(dom male) • Feb 19, 2023

These are scammers, sorry.

Any actual lifestyle domme, pro, will have their own equipment, though anything that through use will become fluid bonded I think it reasonable to ask a sub to have/bring their own, the likes of dildos, vibrators, buttplugs, cages etc.

These people sense your thirst, desperation and only wish to exploit that, and milk you of cash. Your experience sadly isn’t new, its very familar.

You will need to be patient, and don’t treat dommes like kink vending machines, attend munches, events, workshops and by not being a thirsty horn ball, treating dommes with respect, like human beings, you get noticed and a non pay to play dynamic could start.

I wish you the best and if anyone on here behaves like the scammers you have encountered report them to the site admin.

WooDY S​(sub male) • Feb 19, 2023

Thank you for your advice.
Wish I'd of had the advice 6 weeks ago though. Would of saved me a lot of money. Been trying to find local events

Solace​(dom male) • Feb 19, 2023

I apologize for your experience WooDY S,

If aren't aware of the local you find something on Fetlife. The site has a large following so it may be easier to find events close enough for you to attend.

WooDY S​(sub male) • Feb 19, 2023

Thank you. Will check it out

Miki​(masochist female) • Feb 19, 2023

Good grief..

Lesson 1, which is unfortunate but true, the ratio of "men seeking" to "women seeking" is exceedingly lop-sided. This is the same with "ordinary" date sites and life in general. Just more guys out there looking than there are any of us women looking.

Another rule of thumb: if a woman is still unattached, as I am, for examplem at an age not far from mine (3 "there's a reason". Either she's a bitch or simply not looking. (Or has bods buried in her basement a-la "Arsenic and Old Lace")

Any would-be dommes who inbox you out of nowhere-- Unless you're the Second Coming of John "Johnny Wadd" Holmes-- have an agenda and it is not your happiness or satisfaction. It's to lighten your pockets.

Also any werbsite amazingly overloaded with hot tickets-- is going to be a place where you have to pay to reply to messages or contact any of them. No one ever gets to date these broads because writing and replying to messages with no real intent on doing anything more-- is their job at the site.

So whatever "offers" you get from would-be dommes-- sorry, they're likely all fake. Not the women necessarily but the offers. There be dollar signs or pound notes to be requested shortly thereafter.

The odds aren't a hell of a lot better IRL but at least you can meet, talk, and decide for yourself with whom there might be chemistry or not.

Lesson 2: If you hit a munch in your ares, don't jump into the BDSM topic off the bat. See if you and the other gel on a friendly level first. Real potential mistresses would get to know you as a person, first. It might be faster moving at a munch which is certainly geared towards BDSM connections but still it is unlikely a would-be domme would say "Kneel to me" within the first minute.

-------------------------------------------------

As one who has not attended a munch in time immemorial, my instincts can be rusty but it simply makes sense.

Sasa​(dom female) • Feb 20, 2023

Scammers are everywhere... on every website. Why not educating yourself before you dive in. Your profile says you are looking for a dominatrix. That is a pro domme and I expect you know that. Anyway you could find yourself a club. Some help newbies, have teachings. That might be good invested money.

WooDY S​(sub male) • Feb 20, 2023

I have been trying to find some localish clubs so i can get myself better acquainted. There aren't many near where i love. Only 2 that i can find up to now

Steellover​(sub male) • Feb 20, 2023

I would just say, as a hard and fast rule, never send or transfer money to someone you haven't met face to face first.

If they are a genuine pro who wants to be paid for their time, then make an arrangement to bring your tribute to her WHEN you meet up with her, not before.

Sasa​(dom female) • Feb 20, 2023

Yes, there are not as many groceries and a lot of people drive for hours, some even into a different state.
But anyway, at this point, you know everything already. If you go to a store, you would pay after you bought what you want and not beforehand. It is the same with pros everywhere.
There is more you should know, but I wish you good luck and hope you will find what you are looking for.