Tasks vs Rules

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jul 2, 2023

That sounds entirely reasonable to me

LordofPain56 • Jul 3, 2023

I have always had 12 relationship rules and 12 household rules written down in "The Covenant" which was at her disposal to read and refresh in her mind at anytime she chose since it had been posted on the wall.
In a previous profile (never shown on this site) which was circulated on other bdsm websites for many years, I had always disclosed that she would have NO routine tasks to perform (unless she wanted them).
There are some things listed in the household rules that one would consider to be routine tasks, but since they are mandatory and incur a punishment if she didn't obey, I had made them a rule from the beginning.
There are special circumstances in which I believed a random task could be given to her with a time limit, but I had determined that if she could not achieve good results, there would be no punishment. My attitude is; she would do the best she could with it because she loves me and wants to please me with good results, but some people may not have the aptitude or people skills.
For example: at one time, I wanted to move to a different State, so I created a checklist including things like: calling 3 moving companies for estimates, setting up appointments with realtor, change of address forms, de-activation of utilities, etc. I thought I could give her some of those tasks to help with.
But a girl never came to be and neither did the move, but there is still time.
Gee guys, I have wasted a bunch of time explaining in several different topics what my old profile had in it (which was never on this site). But it had everything, and maybe too much. Typing all this stuff over again (and sending bits and pieces of it to people who message me for it) makes me wanna throw up my hands and delete the short version I have here and paste the old version in on my profile page.
That way, all i'd have to do from now on is say....see my profile.

Richjolii • Jul 3, 2023

As with anything in the lifestyle, No one thing is the same to a couple. What matters most is what the sub and Dom agree to. Going by what you have mentioned, rules are something you are expected to do at all times. Tasks are something you are expected to do when asked. My guess would be to do them the one time you asked to do them. If their is confusion you should be able to asak your Dom about the confusion. whatever advice others give means nothing, as we have no idea what he means by them. Ask him what he means. I always allow my submissive to ask questions it helps to build the relationship


Richjolii

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 3, 2023

I'm too much of a stickler for grammar. As another posted, a rule is a guideline (no one says "law" to me except a judge) A code of conduct. A task is an action to be performed be it physical such as cleaning and cooking and all that shit-- or something achieved through the thought process such as compiling a budget.

I cannot address these two words any other way. Perhaps I'm too literal

----------------------------------------------------------------------

@submissivejewishgirl : There are more than a couple words here that don't fly right over in Old Blighty-- and vice versa. "Fanny" here is or used to be a PG Rated way of saying "ass". Similarly (and that likely has changed but I read about it) a fag in England is (was) a cigarette here.

But of course I read old material and any number of these may have been modified or eliminated.

--------------------------------------------------------------------


O P:
Unwritten Rule 4. I like that, in that I dispensed with my gag reflex decades ago, so any dude who face-fucks me would be simultaneously pleased and disappointed, the latter because I guess dick-slingers get their rocks off making a girl gag and slobber.


... and hypothetically, as I have said on other threads: At the end of any decent DT session, my response to "unwritten rule 4" involve a rake job on the way out. My version of a toll booth.

But when I give a simple blow-job I don't close the gates on the toll booth. Just giving head should be a quick and painless bit of pleasure for both.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Have a Sunny Day!

EpicParker​(sub female) • Jul 3, 2023

My rules change every six months. We add and take away. My tasks are the same for the week but change on Mondays. Everyone has chores in our home and the chores change weekly so no one is stuck with the same chore.
I have some rules that remain constant while others change.

I'mME • Jul 3, 2023

[quote="Richjolii"]As with anything in the lifestyle, No one thing is the same to a couple. What matters most is what the sub and Dom agree to. Going by what you have mentioned, rules are something you are expected to do at all times. Tasks are something you are expected to do when asked. My guess would be to do them the one time you asked to do them. If their is confusion you should be able to asak your Dom about the confusion. whatever advice others give means nothing, as we have no idea what he means by them. Ask him what he means. I always allow my submissive to ask questions it helps to build the relationship


Richjolii
[I always allow my submissive to ask questions it helps to build the relationship]

Helps build the relationship.

It does do that, but before that, several other important, valid things to consider.

If a person has a principle, that person should be able to verbally express their principle and why. Does it have to be scholarly? No.

If a Dominant orders the bathroom to be cleaned, well what does clean actually mean to them? A submissive may clean but they don't know what clean is to that Dom. The Dom should go to the bathroom and point out /show/demonstrate (if need be) EXACTLY what they mean by their order for a clean bathroom.

THAT, folks , is an example of what TRAINING (that word that some love to throw around when it comes to D/s dynamics) should consist of.

I'm glad to read that you ALLOW your sub to ask questions.

I'mME • Jul 3, 2023

.
Miki,
What is a DT session?