Subs: what are some bad habits of FemDoms?

Subs: what are some bad habits of FemDoms?

aradialspire​(dom femme) • Jul 6, 2023

I have friends who are subs, and I hear stories, but the stories I usually hear are people who've either fallen out with a Prodomme or scammers taking people for a ride over toy hauls or pics on OF. What I'd really love to hear about are some bad habits and annoying things that FemDoms do (please do not include grievances with Prodommes in this thread!)

Re: Subs: what are some bad habits of FemDoms?

subbbn​(sub male) • Jul 7, 2023

Miki • Jul 7, 2023

I don't know how much luck you'll have with this thread, Aradialspire in that many (I can't guess a specific percentage but it seems like a lot) subs on here and out in the world who are in dynamics-- the dom usually monitors what the sub writes on forums, and such a sub would be loath to respond honestly.

They either post under supervision, or have the hairy-handed dom listen to what Sub wants to say and does the writing for her,

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Ergo no sub in her right mind would reply with, for example:

"My dom does X Y and Z and it really pisses me off. And when he does this in public??!! He looks like an ass, and I'm so embarassed."

... and on the home front...

"Then he has the nerve to order me to ____ and _____ at night before bed, and I sometimes feel like I want to shove___ right up his hairy ass."

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Dom reads shit like this and Sub either gets a good paddling, or the door.. for good. "Dismissed!"

While there will be exceptions, I can easily picture any number of owned subs wanting to respond to this but can't.

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But... That's Just Me. Never was a sub never will be. Too independant. But I'm twisted enough to qualify to be in here!

Steellover​(sub male) • Jul 8, 2023

It would be a good opportunity for a sub who is not currently in a relationship, to respond about the things in past relationships did not work for them.

Most of my experiences with female dominants have been with paid professionals, so I'm probably not going to give a very satisfying response.

I would hope that rather than gripe online about the "Bad habits" our superiors have that irk us as submisssives, that we would communicate them to our superiors offline face to face. After all, communication should always be a two way street, even in a D/s dynamic.

Miki • Jul 8, 2023

@Steelover Good call. They specified no prodomme gripes. Those are sometimes scammers but always just paid performers with no skin in the game. Kind of like those fake mourners they hire to attend funerals so the poor stiff in the box isn't thought of as having no friends

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Definitely a free sub can, if warranted, rake a dastardly dom over the coals, but anonymously. Even if a dom (or a sub but this thread covers dom gripes)

.... Even if the dom was a steaming pile of dog shit for a man, it is not fair to "out" the prick.

Not only does it screw up his reputation, it makes it difficult for the guy to stop being a tool and try again having learned from mistakes.

Other than that free subs might find it cathartic to vent about....

that guy who farted in public around her, picked at his teeth in restaurants, was a slob around the house or the ultimate sin...

Left the damned toilet seat up!!!

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EDIT: Shit.. I just noticed the headline was "femdoms".. I wrote about male dominants.. I should zap this post.. Too late to expunge the first one. But I put too much effort in so instead.

"Call me blind"
-- Wrong species of dominant. I apologize and will stay off this thread after this.

Bondsbondsman​(sub male) • Jul 9, 2023

When a lady is afraid that a crown will fall from her head.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jul 13, 2023

Too many to mention.

gillesderais​(sub male) • Jul 13, 2023

My main problem in the dynamics I have got into is that the lady in question doesn't know when she is asking too much. OK I'm a sub, so I want to be treated like a doormat, but I think many ladies don't appreciate how draining and exhausting it is to serve. They just keep asking for more and more and more and don't give back. As a domme, it is your perogative to make demands, but you also need to think what the sub is getting out of it.So more TLC is required, please
This is particularly important for me because I suffer from subdrop and feelings of depression and self loathing at the best of times. I want my lady to emphasize that I don't need to feel these feelings in her company, not to exacerbate them.

Steellover​(sub male) • Jul 14, 2023

^Good post, above. There needs to be a balance in any relationship, to make sure both parties are getting their needs met. I am not a domme obviously and cannot speak as one, but I would guess that it would be very easy- for ANYONE- to fall into the trap of simply demanding everything and giving nothing in return. And as a sub, the stress of constantly trying to comply, to be a "good obedient sub" after a while, especially if it gets to be a full time 24/7 commitment, can become more stressful than pleasurable. And thus, the balance level of the relationship goes off. It becomes more like "Taking advantage of someone." Again, communication, what are her needs, what are yours, establishing and negotiating boundaries- these are things that are so important- in any relationship.

Broken Bonds • Jul 28, 2023

This is purely anecdotal and just from what I've seen on here and other BDSM dating sites. But the amount of Domme profiles that explicitly say "pay me to be your Mommy" is alarming and scary to me. Why is this acceptable and even a common thing? If the genders were reversed would the Male Dom not be completely shamed and have their profile banned?