Slap Happy ?

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Oct 12, 2023

CarmenZ,

I've read your profile, and am going to try and look at this from another perspective.

You're new to bdsm, and are very clear on what you don't want for yourself. That's excellent. Have you stopped to consider that, as you explore, your views may develop and change?

Let's say you'd never had a body modification of any sort. So you start looking at tattooes, piercings.... As you explore online, and expose yourself to the possibilities, all of a sudden you are hit with images of skin /body hooks, and suspension via such. That is, frankly, shocking, when you never ever knew such things existed. It is beyond the pale to what you knew about, were thinking of in your exploration.

You will likely never ever understand why, or who, or how anyone could want that. But if you dig a little deeper, you might understand what those people, who do engage in those actions, get out of it. You can only listen, and try and stop your gut reaction. You surely wouldn't discount mounting coherent, consistent, repeated evidence that people do it, enjoy it, get even spiritual fulfilment, from doing it? If you do, you must ask yourself about your own levels of tolerance and acceptance. It is not your right to police what other people enjoy and want.

And until we truly stop, and listen, we don't see that there is an alternative viewpoint.

The example I use above is my own lived experience. And it took me an age to understand. And to grow myself, in terms of tolerance, acceptance, and that I do not, absolutely do not, have a right to judge other people's kinks.

CarmenZ • Oct 12, 2023

@ "What happened between Armin and his victim was not a fantasy"


you are totally wrong. They both knew what they were doing and they both loved out their fantasy. Meiwes fantasized about eating human flesh and Brandes fantasized about having parts of him eaten, actually watching the act as it took place. That my dear is a fantasy.

I am not comparing a dom who gets a hardon from strangling Women and slapping/punching them in the face, I am merely asking the question as to is consent always consent.

I know many Women that remained in abusive relationships because they didn't know how to get out. They also were slapped or punched and since they accepted it and didn't instantly leave their partners or go to the police, they consented, ie. they allowed it to happen........consent.

Purĕ • Oct 12, 2023

This has nothing to do with consent.
They didn't allowed it to happen.

I would be very careful with such statements if You don't have a clue how domestic violence or domestic abuse affects the victim

Bunnie • Oct 12, 2023

I hear you. Once I came across someone who’s desire was to break their partner’s ankles and keep them in that state as a constant. I politely declined any further interaction and wished them well on their endeavour of finding someone who would want to live that way with them.
I think we all eventually come across someone whose desires are very much outside our own comfort zone/morals/values/mindset. And of course, the more taboo it is (not talking in terms of unlawfulness here), the bigger the “grey area” (where is the line in regards to encouraging exploration vs encouraging one to check their mental health? for example).
Having said that, I can’t help but think that for every Yang there is a yin out there somewhere. It may not be me lol, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone else who instantly goes “yes, that’s for me.”

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Oct 12, 2023

Edited to remove content.

aPeepingMom​(sub female) • Oct 12, 2023

No. Abso-fucking-lutely not. Just because I was unable to leave an abusive relationship for a variety of reasons, does not mean I fucking CONSENTED to the abuse.

I was prepared to leave a thoughtful and sincere response to your post, with my submissive POV on why allowing the face slaps is actually EMPOWERING for me. But then you said this.

Fuck off with that mentality. You’re either ignorant, or trolling.

But seriously. Fuck. No.

CarmenZ • Oct 12, 2023

@pure

my ex husband beat me for years and it took me a long time to have the courage to end the relationship.


Make sure you know who you're talking to before you write

CarmenZ • Oct 12, 2023

@ aPeepingMom

"I was prepared to leave a thoughtful and sincere response to your post"

frankly my dear, I'm not the least interested in your views or opinions but for now you will have to agree to disagree.

aPeepingMom​(sub female) • Oct 12, 2023

Frankly, my dear, why post a forum topic if you’re not ready for a discussion?

If you don’t want to hear opinions, stick to a blog.

I'mME • Oct 12, 2023

CarmenZ,

I'm pretty sure that the person didn't consent to die that day.