How do you feel?

Steellover​(sub male) • Nov 8, 2023

I've never given a thought to whether someone is wearing a collar in a profile pic or not. So no, I guess it wouldn't bother me either way.

LordofPain56 • Nov 8, 2023

I suppose I would be a little confused if someone was posting a profile and were wearing a collar. Why would you be wearing a collar if you were seeking a Dom. Doesn't it mean you are already collared by a Dom. But if you read the text in their profile, it may seem to indicate that they ARE looking. It could be legit, if sub was in a poly and wanted another sub, but You'd think they'd point that out specifically.
Possibly a Mentor/sub thing? But again, usually not specifically stated as such.
The term "leftover"was in poor taste I thought. But then, don't subs remove their collar when relationship ends. Kinda like a vanilla wedding ring. They remove them after a divorce.

Re: How do you feel?

aPeepingMom​(sub female) • Nov 8, 2023

I feel like this is missing some context, maybe? Are you talking about all profiles? Single people? A dating app? In the vanilla world? Here?

But in reality, not sure that the context matters. If I choose to wear a collar in my profile pic, I could care less if someone is turned off by it. The only person whose opinion I care about is my Dom’s opinion.

If I were single and wearing a collar, it could be for a variety of reasons I guess. Like someone mentioned, it could be a beautiful memory. It could be party of a fantasy, wishful thinking, or just because it makes me feel beautiful. Sexy. Happy.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Nov 8, 2023

Oooo some spicy comments in here. Shall I make popcorn? I dont understand much about collars so im here for the entertainment.

K y i v • Nov 8, 2023

Some very good comments, minx.
You never know what you will get when you ask. 🤔🤔🤔

UpFromTheAshes​(switch gender queer) • Nov 8, 2023

Personally speaking, I am self-collared and will likely remain so unless I open myself to another D-type....even if I were actively looking for someone (which I am not), I would still retain my collar for myself until such a time as my new D-type wished to collar me. Even then, I might ask for either an alternative (a cuff?) or move my personal collar to something else, or even find a way to wear both collars. I don't practice a dynamic with myself quite the same way as I would with a D-type, and I appreciate the symbolism of holding myself, caring for myself, a great deal. I struggle to care for myself, so this symbol is very important to me. I'm also non-monogamous and not inclined toward TPE, so it's entirely possible that I may have multiple D-types even other than my dynamic with myself. Besides all of that, I have photos of myself that I love, in which I was wearing my former Dom's collar. Though I have not posted them (or any other photos) here, I do not like to think that I should avoid posting those photos of myself just because they contain a collar that I no longer wear.

I don't think that you can or should make sweeping assumptions about someone just because they are wearing a collar in a photo they post on their profile. And like others, the idea of being referred to as someone's "leftovers" just because I used to have a Dom before and now I don't....I find that to be quite offensive. I'm not garbage, and I'm not inferior, just because I have lived life before this moment.

Hekate He Near​(switch female){Eros} • Nov 8, 2023

I also like the feel of something solid, I am intrigued by the self-collaring concept.

Not a cuff, but when I was under consideration with ErosRising I had a beautiful locking anklet. Now I have the matching day collar, both From Captive Collars, and a formal collar from Eternity. I also have some play collars that he made by hand for attachment points during play, and my Christmas gift will be cuffs and anklets that match my formal collar for events. All things Eros knew from his experience and I have learned in my time with him in case anyone is looking for collar types and ideas.

I don't ever see myself single again, but wish I'd seen or thought of the self-collar concept when I was. Thanks for the post!