Sincorrigible(sub female) |
1 year ago •
Nov 9, 2023
1 year ago •
Nov 9, 2023
Sincorrigible(sub female) • Nov 9, 2023
tallslenderguy wrote: This is a great thread... hilarious, and helps me realize i am not alone in this.
i've had quite a few, and they stayed "first date" because, well, they were "horror dates" and i'm not into horror. Most of mine occurred when i first divorced from a marriage to a woman in 2008 and was dating gay guys. Most of them were the common misrepresentation with old or inaccurate pics. Was disheartening and enlightening. One that stands out early on, maybe one of my first potentially romantic meets was a guy living in Idaho and i was living in Virginia at the time. i confess, i was newly free and out as a gay person, and pretty hungry... i would have gone to Idaho to meet (eek). And, i was pretty stupid, when i can blame a lot on my having been emotionally starved for a long time. Met him online and we had sparks, writing volumes back and forth. Then a 5 hour phone call where he literally proposed to me after we'd only been talking 3 days. Okay, i knew. my rational mind was telling me how ridiculous this was, that all i had was a pic, lots of written exchange and a very long phone call. But my emotional brain craved romance, and he was pushing all my buttons. Of course, i didn't seriously consider marriage, but i was pulled by his romancing me. The phone call was a Saturday... and then he disappeared. Keep in mind, i was new to all this, so be kind towards my idiocy. i was frantic, writing over and over and getting no response after prior daily (continuous) interaction. When he got back in touch, he told me that he was going to have to end our relationship (stop laughing) because he'd "met someone who needed him more than i." i wrote back that i never said anything about "needing" him, the disconnects were plethora, again... my emotions were driving with my rational mind yelling from the back seat and finally getting through. Then he disappeared and i let it all go chiding myself for allowing my emotions to run amok. One month later, he got back in touch and said that it was over between he and the one who "needed him more than i did." At this point i had recovered my senses and all irrational vulnerability was stowed safely in the trunk. i pressed him about the one who needed him more than i did and he finally told me that the one who needed him more than me was an injured cat he'd found. (okay, you can laugh now). No laughing from me. We can see the funny side after, but that emotional vulnerability and starvation is a bad place to be, and when it's taken advantage of, and we take what people tell us, at face value, it HURTS. And what is with that emotional /rational total disconnect???!!! I had a remarkably similar encounter in my very early days. |
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