Dungeon/Toys After Death

Dungeon/Toys After Death

lambsone • Mar 16, 2024

For those who have dungeons in your home, or for anyone who has kink toys, have you thought about what will happen when you die with all that stuff?

We can have anonymity while we are alive, but we can't stop folks discovering things about us after death. Especially one's children or other family members. It would be nice if there were kink thrift stores.

So anyway, has anyone thought about this aspect of owning toys and equipment and what will happen to it and your reputation after you die?

aradialspire​(dom femme) • Mar 16, 2024

I went through a prolonged period of illness, and I had to consider this.

At one point, I was learning to use a sight cane (the little stick so you can see where you're going; my vision is better now thankfully!), and the vision trainer decided she was going to come upstairs to see how I handled stairs and maneuvering around the house.

I didn't know it at the time, but I had a glass dildo and a GIGANTIC bottle of water-based lubricant on the bedside table 😂😂💀 She was very uncomfortable when we went out on the patio to practice some skills, and I, for the life of me, couldn't figure out why. I thought she was worried about safety because it was rickety. Later in the day, I figured it out when making the bed and tidying up.

At first, I was horrified and called my friend, crying about it. I wondered what was going to happen if I died and someone found all my weird stuff. Then we laughed for a long time. Who gives a shit, we're all doing something!

You are a full and complete human being with many facets. Once you go, you're gone. You have children and grandchildren; obviously, they got here somehow. Some might be a little freaked out, and some might be a bit proud. Grandmas need love too.

As for kink thrift stores, you may be able to donate things to your local kink or queer community, depending on where you live and what the items are. If they can be sterilized, reupholstered, etc., they may be able to find a new home (though few will want a used silicone dildo; those can be recycled depending on the material composition; you could ask your family in your will to send them to certain companies for proper recycling for those that accept them.)

But whatever the case may be, it'll be out of your hands. Enjoy your life while you have it! There's only one judgment you have to worry about.

lambsone • Mar 16, 2024

Cool thoughts aradialspire.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Mar 16, 2024

I have a trunk full of items under my bed, and various electrical toys in various cupboards. I dare say, being in my fifties now, that some of it will be disposed of before I need to worry. But, I do sometimes think that my children will finally realise we aren't quite the dull couple they have long assumed us to be. 😁😉

lambsone • Mar 16, 2024

Since I'm going to be 72 in a few months, and given the fact that many baby Boomers don't seem to be reaching ages beyond their 70's, I have become aware of the need to figure out how to come up with a plan for these items after my death.

I haven't come up with a plan yet. But I've been kicking some ideas around. I was thinking of contacting my youngest brother and seeing if he would handle my wishes for them in the event of my death if I die suddenly before I've had a chance to take care it myself.

And then if I reach a point while I'm still alive, that I no longer can or should see myself seeking a Dominant or see myself using these things due to age, medical issues, or personal preference then I will find ways to get rid of them.

Some things are generic enough that I can give them to Good Will or The Salvation Army or other thrift stores. Dildos, vibrators, lubes, enema bag, or butt plugs I'd just have to throw out.

Anyway, food for thought.

aradialspire​(dom femme) • Mar 16, 2024

Having a trusted person that can come and clear out all the filthy things before your kids come, if that would seriously distress them, may be the right option.

I personally would leave a copy of something racy in with the crocheted blankets. Leave 'em wondering!

Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 16, 2024

I don't have a dungeon. When active I regularly visited two properly equipped ones on my "slave weekends"-- all the better to let them spend the dough on such trappings not me....

I Just have various toys to keep myself happy and I look at it this way:

If and when such artifacts are found and people laugh up their sleeves and whisper remarks about my having been a freak---- I won't care. I'd be dead.

My remaining 2 siblings would simply shrug and tell them I lived my own life and I was a big girl able to manage same.

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Just think of good ol' David Carridine who tried erotic asphyxiation while pulling his meat in a hotel closet on June 3, 2009 in Bangkok without a spotter... Found in that embarrassing state which was subsequently ruled as not-suicide.

He was dead. He didn't give a rat's ass what people said or thought about him.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Mar 16, 2024

My children are presently 26,24 and almost 20. They all know about my kinks (since about mid to early teens). I decided years ago them knowing what I do was better than keeping secrets. People tend to feel when people have secrets and I didn't want that (forever) with my adult children. Its a little hard to hide a St As , they can only swallow for so long that it is a paint easel complete with over sized painting. I also think that nothing screams secrets more than a locked box. Once each was mentally old enough, they got told enough.

While I say they know, they don't want details, that's got ewwwww factor times a million (for them and me) and of course nothing was ever shown to them or done in front of them. They know the details of how Femdom works and they are fine with it (they know about other types of alt sex and are fine with those too. its called a good sex education). They have two happy parents and that is more important to them. They have parents that still love and adore each other, that's more important to them. They have grown up with me teaching sex education (in schools) and owning adult websites. They are not prudes and they are very open minded. In my house sexuality isn't something to be ashamed off.

I have a container that contains insertibles, its also locked as a reminder. They know that goes straight the trash! The rest they are fine with handling if they have to, if I was to die suddenly with their father (my primary sub) They also know that as soon as I cant swing a whip, I'll get rid of it on their Dad will. Its also not spread everywhere, its well contained in one cupboard (nicknamed Pandora) and a large steamer trunk. The kids know its there and no where else. So there are NO surprises, no what the frack is that moments.

We all complain that kink is seen in a bad light...yet half the time we keep our kinks in the dark. Granted what we do doesn't need to be shouted from the roof tops but so you leave behind a few kinky things....is it really a big deal? it, being a big deal says more about us.
Most women and men now days own vibes and butt plugs, hand cuffs and restraint sales are also on the rise and over 60% of sexual age people have experimented with restraint or some kind of tease and denial in their sexual life. its no longer a shameful thing or anything to feel shame about.

Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 16, 2024

as I have no kids that won't be an issue. Plus I have just a few toys and, well, now that Bonnie mentioned it a couple decent size butt plugs. But again, I don't advertise how I play but it's not any kind of secret, either. I dress normally out and about but on occasion I'll sport the leather, the black choker and might even dab on a bit of makeup to look a little wilder than usual, but not often.

Again, since there's no one really close to me and the family is aware but it doesn't faze them and, well as I also said, it won't mean a thing to me, I'll be in the great beyond, oblivious to all that transpires down here.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Mar 16, 2024

A close friend has letters with contact information for people I want to know I have died, they also have a key to my house and will clear the playroom.

As for all intents and purposes I have no family to speak off, its more a case of whomever has to clear my home, doesn't have the hassle of doing this, rather than embarrassment.

I guess if I reach a point of no longer being fit/able enough to do what I do, I will retire to whatever degree that condition requires and move my stuff on, that I can no longer use.

Definitely a topic worth considering, as none of us no the minute, the hour, or the day of our death, or inability to continue what it is we do.