Kink education

lambsone • Mar 27, 2024

I personally believe that there is nothing wrong with learning more. As a former educator, I realize that there is always something more to discover. None of us knows it all and never will.

If a person is comfortable attending classes then seek them out. Or watch online videos, etc. Learn anyway you can, try out alone or if you are comfortable playing with someone, then experiment with them. But make sure you all understand the safety issues and what to do if something unexpected happens.

For myself, online education is mostly what I do. I have no one to play with and because of religious restrictions cannot play with anyone I don't belong to.

I have attended one BDSM conference locally and have watched demonstrations on violet wand, spanking, and fireplay. And listened to lectures from those experienced in the lifestyle. The magazine articles at the cage are really good too.

I also have no group of people in my situation to talk to and would likely get excommunicated if I outed myself. I can however talk to several about partner dynamics particularly in a Biblical marriage. I am more interested in the dynamics than the play. I see play as.more the icing on the cake of a strong dynamic

So that's what I do.

SkyeWriter​(dom female) • Mar 27, 2024

As several folks have pointed out, there are tons of podcasts (and some videos) that can help you to learn about a variety of topics and skills. I know I've watched some videos on basic rope bondage so that I could practice those skills.

I personally attend a few weekend kink events every year and go through the schedule in advance and look for presentations/discussions/demos that might be of interest to my partners and me. Once I have a selection of those, I go and look for info about the presenters--their experience level, what they might say about themselves and their ways of thinking. Then I decide what I'm going to attend!

There are some fine presenters/educators out there. That being said, whatever you hear/learn at a presentation should be checked within your own mind. If something sounds odd to you, you should make note of it and check it out later via a few reliable sources--even if no one else at the presentation seems fazed by it.

I'm also an avid reader and have many excellent books on a variety of topics within kink.

Learning is a lifelong process--it's never too late to start!

dragonpaw​(dom male) • Mar 27, 2024

Personally I find it a bit of a worrisome sign when someone doesn't believe they still have things to learn and turns their nose up at taking classes. I've been doing this for decades and still seek out classes whenever I can find them. (Lots of good regional events like Dark Odyssey out there that have something for everyone.)

QuietIsNotShy​(dom male) • Mar 27, 2024

Quite well-said, I couldn't have put it better myself. The play is fun and exciting, but it's the dynamic of the lifestyle that interests me the most. A healthy dynamic is much more fulfilling than just having play.

simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} • Mar 29, 2024

Education has been around in the kink community forever (De Saade?? European houses? Leather clubs?) and I truly believe there is no such thing as too much education/too many classes. There are a lot of people who shouldn't educate, but that's why I believe in vetting people through in-person classes/conventions/etc. Bad eggs can get through but they generally get run out pretty quickly. If a purported "educator" has no public experience beyond TikTok, I call BS. I take online education, podcasts, and reading material with a very large grain of salt and typically only engage if it's someone who's presented at a local or national level. Online education is more accessible and there are cool and reputable opportunities for these as well. I personally don't like online education as a student and as an educator. Stupid adult ADHD.

Mentorship is also incredibly important. I've learned the most through mentorships and still count many of those people as part of my leather family. I also believe very firmly that mentors should ONLY share the side of slash that you're on (doms mentor doms, subs to subs, etc.).

I've been involved in our local community for 20 years and could sit here and say that I've learned all there is, but that's not the case and I'd stay far away from anyone who does say so. I dunno, I'm an academic so I'm pretty passionate about education and I'm really concerned about rising anti-intellectual/education movements. I go to a couple conventions a year and always glean something new from each class I choose to attend. It's not a requirement in my dynamic (try requiring Djinni to do anything) but education is a value that we both share.