Low effort messages from dudes

lambsone • May 26, 2024

When I first started getting those kind of messages I was insulted. Then I decided to experiment. If they said hi and nothing else, I only gave them back what they gave me. Hello, I'd say and leave it at that. Usually that was enough to break the ice and the conversation grew little by little over time.

Over the past few months I've been getting messages from younger doms, who I could serve as a great grandmother figure. I've had to let them know that they couldn't possibly understand me. A man my own age has enough of a hard time relating to a woman abd I to him as it is. I don't go any younger than 55.

So, I've learned to go with the flow, not get insulted and just maintain honesty in my communication. Sure it's exciting to get something in your mailbox but my expectations for a suitable relationship aren't as high here anymore so I just respond more out of trying to amuse myself and see where they will take the conversation.

Miki​(masochist female) • May 27, 2024

delted

chattel​(sub female) • May 31, 2024

It should be different here because in a coffee shop the next response will be of substance typically while here in cyber land it will typically not be of substance.

Solace​(dom male) • May 31, 2024

This is a conversation that has been rehashed over and over again. Possibly twenty or more times in the short span I've been on the cage.

The majority of Ladies are flooded with messages and don't believe men put enough effort in. The majority of men don't see enough return on investment to do more. For those who have a different perspective, congratulations. I consider you the winner in all of this. You're either the minority or not the squeaky wheel.

I'm a firm believer that we can move past this if both men and women put more effort into understanding each other. However I see many require a somewhat jaded phase before they move to this point. Unfortunately, not everyone seems to recover from that possible requirement.

Miki​(masochist female) • May 31, 2024

I don't know... I never guaged "levels of effort" except of course when the next message was a proposition, but that goes with the territory, especially when new and unattached and a sub or maso-girl.
I got a lot of those when I signed up and for several months thereafter but.. after a time word seems to get out that "If she's unattached, there's probably a good reason."
Now it's blissfully quiet in my message Inbox.

I can be just as brief and uninformative. Door swings both ways, but overall I don't read a lot into the perceived "quality" or "effort". I go with the flow. if someone kicks into higher gear with "content" great. if they wander into the digital mist once it's clear I'm not looking--- no harm; no foul.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • May 31, 2024

It is worth noting that, if you are the type who believes that initiating the conversation is the man's responsibility (I.e you rarely, if ever take the risk of initiating the conversation yourself) and a man sends you a message, regardless of the effort put in; if you do not respond to that message, then he has already put in significantly more effort than you have.

Prior to online dating, this mindset was still not ideal, but it was at least feasible. In a bar or club, a single guy approaches a single woman, gains her full attention, takes his shot, and she has the full capacity to accept or reject, then it's clearly over.

Online dating is more like going to a pitch black room where a hundred people are just shouting at you and you may or may not even be there. It just doesn't make sense to unnecessarily narrow the initial responsibility in that situation. The more we all contribute, the more likely we are to succeed. No one likes to risk being rejected, but it is not like it's any easier as a guy.

aradialspire​(dom femme) • May 31, 2024

I am a low-effort woman. I used to have a profile packed to the gills with very good photos, etc., and then people thought I was selling something, haha.

Many women also expect a compatible male/or otherwise identified partner just magically to find them. Do not be afraid to seek them out! My profile is barebones; if I see a tasty treat out there, I can say hello; no need to wait for 500 copypasta "HELLO GODDESS/QUEEN! MY HOLE IS READY" messages or whatever flavor of spam you guys get in your inbox. I turn off messages if I haven't messaged first, so no one contacts me that I don't want to talk to. More women should take advantage of this delightful Cage feature if they're displeased with the quality of messages they're receiving.

Sometimes, I'm happy I'm bisexual and have had to put the work in to meet people, or else I might just be stuck with whatever decided to jack it to my feet that day💀

Miki​(masochist female) • Jun 1, 2024

I cocur wholly.

Let It Grow, Let It Flow..

If it doesn't-- the it wasn't


(Yeah I am deaf as a board but I was able to hear enough and afterwards read and learn enough to know rhyme and reason.)

balloonkotinsp • Jun 2, 2024

Interesting topic. From a male perspective, I find this extremely difficult to navigate. I feel sometimes a simple introduction seems appropriate. Like I would do if I were to approach an attractive woman in person. I understand that I guess you are supposed to stand out, but it's not easy, and it can feel contrived. I am confident in my ability to stand out. Over time. It's not easy to do it in a few sentences. But that's what many women expect. But keep in mind ladies,it's not always lack of effort. As much as it's trying to stay genuine and respectful. Now stock, or standard messages are another matter. That's just lazy. My 2 cents.

chattel​(sub female) • Jun 2, 2024

We almost never get a simple introduction, that would be a few steps up from the norm