Q for female subs - Which punishment?

Q for female subs - Which punishment?

LoveMaster​(dom male) • Jul 20, 2024

Question for submissive females.

Let's say you have an important relationship, and you do something terrible, which reaction do you prefer from your Man:
- To be beaten, slapped in the face, ending in tears
- To be dumped for good and lose Him

I am curious, because in general I dislike violence, but by experience I know the most terrible pain you can give to a woman is to break her heart.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jul 20, 2024

Straw man argument.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Jul 20, 2024

Neither. To disappoint him is the worst option.

lambsone • Jul 20, 2024

Since you only gave 2 options, it would be up you to determine what's best each time an infraction occurs and the type of relationship you have with your sub.

Being dumped and losing your Dom is rather harsh and it seems to me that this would be used as a last resort and reserved for repetitive and willful infractions. And only used after you have talked with the sub and understand her motivation and reasons for committing the infraction. And after you determine that you didn't contribute to motivating her infraction. After all, we all are humans and subject to imperfect behavior at times.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jul 20, 2024

And that is what makes it a straw man argument.

This is a classic domestic violence scenario. "Either you take my beatings or I am going to leave you all alone with nothing!" Women get entrapped by the fear of being left alone and having nothing to support them. So he is presenting the beatings as better than the alternative, with no other choices.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){95%} • Jul 20, 2024

To be beaten, slapped in the face, ending in tears. Are you talking about a romantic date night?

DirtroadSamurai​(dom male) • Jul 20, 2024

I 10,000% Agree

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Jul 20, 2024

Emotional pain is often worse than physical.

If your sub is okay with physical pain and has consented to be punished that way then okay.

But if these are your options, and you're just throwing them out there, that's not very cool.

M'K • Jul 20, 2024

It depends on your relationship, the type of "terrible" thing done, whether or not trust was broken, and if it's something that you both could truly move on from.

It's not as simple as answer a or b.

There's so much context missing.
Just my 2 cents.

fluffypoppet​(sub female){Protected} • Jul 20, 2024

This question has lit my brain up like a pinball machine. I keep jumping from one thought to another.

My answer to this question is NO, because:
- Punishments serve a purpose- to restore balance and trust. (At least in my world- I wouldn't consent to punishment for anything less.)
- Not everyone consents to punishments. | Given my experience with them, I'm not sure I would.
- If I willingly consented to a punishment, it would still need to be within my boundaries.
- No contact is a hard boundary.
- A beating seems risky, if I associate a beating with punishment, it will NEVER be a funishment to me again.
- If a slap leaves a mark on my face, that's again outside of a boundary for me.

My preference when it comes to terrible mistakes is as follows:
- A conversation- I prefer to have a discussion about what happened, why it is wrong, what should have happened, what needs to be done to make amends, and how to prevent further transgressions.
- A punishment we've discussed that fits within my boundaries. I may not get to choose my own punishment, but I can choose my boundaries, and they exist for a good reason.

Anyway, if something is so terribly wrong that the only restorative justice is to violate my boundaries then the dynamic is already over. So I guess losing him is the final outcome. Though, it needn't have been. A creative Dom could find other impactful punishments within set boundaries.

Perhaps a helpful question might be:
*What are appropriate punishments for a terrible transgression?*