genderfication

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

lambson,

I said the forum list needs an overhaul.

However, there are topics that do affect a given gender:

"Do FemDoms (I do prefer the Old School "Domme") feel threatened by overly aggressive male subs"
"Are male subs frowned upon by Male Doms"
"Should non binary subs only seek to serve non binary Doms"

and on and on and on.

Now fet has solved this problem with anyone being able to set up their own forum topics. But that can get out of control and suck up server space.

I also said that people tend to put their posts in the wrong forum. When that happens, I am always reminded of the Knight towards the end of "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"

"He Chose Poorly"

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

In reality, the forum list is meant for "safe spaces" to discuss aspects of the lifestyle pertaining to a given area.

Now the way Cage is set up, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. The main reason it does not is all the subjects are listed on the main page and not everyone looks to see what forums the topics are listed in.

I don't comment on things in the Lesbian forum, since I got no reason to. I might say something in the Gay forum, as I have banged a couple of guys in the past, but there are going to be issues I have no clue about.

But to day Cage is focusing on gender specific roles is not really accurate.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

Thank you TD for a civilized discourse. I appreciate that.

Your example above is absolutely perfect. As Green is my favorite color, I believe we have enough room and breadth of life that it can be someone else's least favorite or at least one they don't like and we can all still play in the sandbox and get along just fine. If you posted a Forum on the discussions of the relevance of the color yellow, I might pass it by or I might mention that it's part of the color green when mixed with blue, but I wouldn't call you out for not including Green in your discussion.

I would add a few thoughts. I'm fairly conservative. And I'm religious and it's part of my thought and process. I've come to terms with my own guilt long ago and I'm fine with it (keeps me warm at night). And that is pretty much how many, many religious folks feel (you know, pull the plank out of your own eye before pointing out the splinter in your neighbor's). Judge not lest ye be judged really is a foundation. But there are plenty of people who claim the religious moniker who love to point out other people's failings which is wrong, just like there are plenty of those who paint all the religious and conservatives in the same color and corner. But we truly are different, each and every one of us. I would hope in this community of the Cage, we could stop trying to vilify certain groups, and to be completely candid, that is what happens often to anyone who is even remotely conservative or religious. They are the brunt of scorn.

For the most part, most of my family, friends and those I know who survive in the conservative and even religious realms do NOT want to push women or anyone (any marginalized groups) back into the dark ages of the past. They don't want to impress their religious beliefs on others or change their life choices. Are there those who do? Yes. But of all those I know, none of them do and most of them absolutely support everyone having rights and freedoms. In my family we have a great many women (my sisters and nieces) who are strong willed and strong minded and every bit the leaders in their communities. They choose how they wish to live. And I support that and their decisions for themselves. That however is my perspective. Just like some people have the perspective that there is a huge movement to return to the dark ages. I think it's just the outspoken fringe minority but they are receiving way too much media attention. Ignore them and they will cease to be an issue.

With that said, I also don't want anyone telling me how I may perceive the world. I will acquiesce another's right to view themselves as they feel; but at a certain point where they demand I view the world or even them in their own light, I will politely smile and nod and remind them I have my own eyes and mind and I'll ultimately make up my own mind. I'll try to do so as respectfully as possible.

Now there are plenty out there who will instantly (or simply continue to) hate me because I've espoused being conservative and religious. I have never tried to keep anyone in their place (except a bully: I cannot tolerate that). I'll support all living their best life ever.

Thank you again! Have a spectacular day.
LL

shebakesalot​(sub female) • Aug 19, 2024

^ This. Because socially, and I'm speaking from being born in/raised/living in the U.S., the default is straight, white, and predominantly male. The irony of having the queer and sexuality-specific topic forums, given that historically speaking, the LGBTQ community has heavily influenced the BDSM/kink lifestyle, but the safe spaces are still needed. I appreciate the safe spaces existing, but like TD said, they're not perfect.

To answer IOM's questions: yes, I see genderization a lot here; yes, it's a problem; I don't have a solution because people will people. But it's important to educate people (respectfully)

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){95%} • Aug 19, 2024

Genderization, or the rigid assignment of roles, behaviors, and identities based on one's perceived gender, is a practice that can be deeply harmful because it reinforces stereotypes and limits individuals' freedoms to express themselves authentically. The harm lies in the restriction of identity, which can lead to the marginalization of those who do not fit neatly into traditional gender norms. For instance, when society insists on narrowly defining what it means to be male or female, it not only dismisses the experiences of those who identify outside of this binary but also perpetuates a culture where deviation from these roles is seen as abnormal or wrong.

This topic has become particularly heated in recent times as more people are challenging traditional gender norms and advocating for a more inclusive understanding of identity. As society evolves, there is a growing recognition that gender is not binary but rather a spectrum. The increasing visibility and voices of non-binary, transgender, and gender-nonconforming individuals have pushed this conversation into the mainstream, highlighting the need for spaces where all identities are respected and represented.

The importance of safe spaces for marginalized populations cannot be overstated. These spaces provide a refuge from the often hostile or dismissive attitudes that can be encountered in broader society. For those who have historically been excluded or misunderstood, having a platform to share their experiences, concerns, and ideas without fear of judgment or discrimination is crucial. It fosters a sense of belonging and community.

Regarding the concern that there are forums for gay and lesbian individuals but not for heterosexuals, it's important to recognize the

historical context.

LGBTQ+ spaces were created in response to widespread discrimination and a lack of representation in mainstream society. These spaces are not about excluding others but rather about ensuring that voices historically silenced are heard and validated. In contrast, heterosexual perspectives have traditionally dominated public discourse, and while everyone's viewpoint is valid, the existence of dedicated LGBTQ+ spaces is a necessary response to that imbalance.

In essence, evolving and understanding the concerns of others is about empathy and respect. Dismissing or undervaluing someone’s perspective because of their gender is indeed problematic, as it perpetuates the same exclusionary practices that many are working to dismantle. In a world where diversity of thought and identity should be celebrated, fostering inclusive environments where all perspectives are honored is key to collective growth and mutual understanding.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

The way I see it, asking for the opinion of one gender is not the same thing as excluding the opinions of other genders. If a question is posed to a specific gender and you have a relevant response to it, give your answer. If the original poster becomes aggrivated that an answer came from the "wrong" gender, then by all means everybody jump in.
Without that clear indication of intention, you're really just dealing with an issue of terminology or a differing style of consideration. A lot of people are brought up to see gender a certain way and that comes through in their manner of speaking and how they interact with others. It doesn't necessarily indicate any particular stance on its own. It would be great if everyone just naturally thought in terms of absolute consideration for the full gender spectrum, but that is not how things are yet, and the transgression of not using the "correct" gendered language is absolutely not warranting the attacks we've seen lately. These are open forums. Try giving the benefit of the doubt and seeing where things go from there.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Aug 19, 2024

People with a victimhood bingo card will seek to get it filled regardless of thier age political beliefs etc etc...

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

That's a good standard.

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

You're right there's still plenty of bigots but not as blatant. I would say the time we grew up in was "blatant bigotry".
I like the Don Quixote allusion--spot on. I just don't want to be too quick to judge who is, who isn't and if there's a real wind mill to fight.

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

They're also villainizing drag queens, gender benders and yeah... everyone and everything is non-traditional... good point .[/quote]




True, I think back to the sixties and we've seen a lot of history. Despite recent regress, the world is exponentially more tolerant than it was when we were kids. I just think that it behooves me to check myself from time to time that I'm still open to progress, that I'm not dismissive of real concerns