Question...

Question...

KayMariexoxo​(sub female) • Jul 30, 2018

Is a sub having children really that much of a big deal in this lifestyle??? I get asked if I have children and when I say yes I never hear from them again. Does anyone else have this problem?

Depends

SirHossapple​(dom male) • Jul 30, 2018

In my opinion, no it shouldn't. Doms might look at it from a point of view,
1. They can't be bothered with it.
2. They want all your time
3. They are really not into you.
My I make a suggestion, you need to ask yourself, what do you want in a Dom.
When you come up with the answers, review them regularly and always keep them updated.
Remember, you are still in control until you surrender.
You are a package deal. If they want you bad enough, they will discuss it with you and develop a plan to accommodate you and your needs.

LittleLex​(sub female) • Jul 30, 2018

The Doms I have talked to did not care that I have children, in fact all had children of their own. If the ones you are talking to drop you as soon as you mention you have kids...sounds to me like they’re doing you a favor anyway. There are good ones out there, I promise

KayMariexoxo​(sub female) • Jul 30, 2018

Thank you for your input. I truly appreciate it. And you make a very valid point

SouthernClass • Jul 31, 2018

So i'm new here, but I think it shouldn't be. I agree with some of the others that expectations are so important. It's a big enough deal for me that it's numero uno in my profile. And I'm definitely not bothered by people who don't care to speak with me socially or more seriously. I think being authentic and true to you is so much more important. Thus far I haven't heard anything ugly, unkind, or derogatory about me having kids (I have two elementary youngins) and wouldn't given respect or attention to someone who is. Make no apologies for you or what you want and need. Best wishes

DomForHer​(dom male) • Jul 31, 2018

Honestly if that makes them uninterested then they are not for you. Your family comes first no matter what. Even though you are a sub you should have standards and requirements just like any other relationship. You don’t want to settle. I have kids and my sub has a kid of her own as well. Our relationship did not start out in this dynamic but evolved into it. Like someone else said think about what you want in a dom and what is and is not acceptable. Don’t settle for less. You will find you dom in time. Good luck.

Yodadom​(dom male) • Oct 14, 2018

Kids shouldn’t be an issue. They aren’t for me. I am a dom with kids. Kids balance your life as a partner and keep you with a good perspective and priority

PappaBear • Oct 14, 2018

Yeah been covered but *raises hand* I’m another Dom with a kid. Wouldn’t mind a sub with kids, or if she wants kids with me. They’re too much fun not to have. Be patient, be kind to yourself, and keep filtering through all the junk , and keep your bullshit detector on high. The one you’re looking for is out there. He’ll understand and he’ll work with you.

Is a sub having children really that much of a big deal

Samsea​(dom male) • Oct 15, 2018

I think you have been lucky as the idiots that have passed you by are just that, idiots without the common sense to see the 'real you' who comes with (I don't like the word but 'baggage' as they see it) and that can be anything or anyone. If they truly want the 'you' nothing else matters, your children and others in your life make you who you are.

Best be upfront with it from the word go as an example here is the open lines of my profile. its me so why hide it.

"Who am I? a 60 years old, fit and very clean male Domme, I am married and have been for many years however my wife is very vanilla in the bedroom and does not share my desires and tastes."

If we approach 'bdsm play' then surly honesty and truthfulness MUST be at the very forefront of our actions, sure we might loose out on the numbers who show an interest, but we must all be looking for THE ONE, and if we find her or him, then we can count ourselves lucky and if you do get a message you can be a little bit more certain they want you...

Sam

Phanes​(dom male) • Oct 15, 2018

As I read the previous posts to this forum; I see many responses that would be expected to be written in answering the question posed. I agree with all those who had. Someone who has children shouldn’t be the deciding factor when it comes to whether or not a union within any relationship should or not happen. But I, Myself wanting to be honest and open to My thoughts in regard to this subject; feel as if I need to perhaps justify those who do base their objections to not wanting to enter such a relationship. I was one of those people; until recently. I hope to explain My thoughts.

In fear of highjacking this forum being I have so much to say on the subject; I ask those who wish to read My thoughts to go to My Blog entitled: Hard Truths and Personal Insightment