MelanQuinn wrote:
Hello Iโm new to the BDSM spotlight and this conversation caught my eye. I believe Iโm a Sub and the things you saying are what I was looking for but what are the actual requirements for a Sub in this situation because Iโm still trying to figure out if I want a dom or master
Titles can have a range of meaning and can be somewhat fluid and interchangeable within a degree, though some titles are exclusively used on the left side of the slash while others are used on the right. By that I mean Master or Dominant as opposed to slave or submissive. There is a discussion or even debate on the intricasies, but in my opinion, it is simply a starting point for how you see yourself and you'll evolve from there. You tend to feel you are on the right side of the slash - with desires to submit in both bedroom and life to the right individual. So referring to yourself as a submissive is an excellent starting point. As you develop a rapport with another individual, you get to determine how you interact with them in your dynamic. Maybe you find you have slave tendencies that you want to act on within the safety of your dynamic relationship as it evolves. But back on point, you get to determine what your submission looks like and means between yourself and whoever you find yourself establishing a Dynamic with. This is why it's referred to as a Power Exchange. The submissive freely gives up the responsibility of power to the Dominant, and the Dominant accepts the full responsibility of maintaining that power for the dynamic of the couple.
Take your time as you are very new to this site and if I've read your profile correctly, to the lifestyle in general perhaps. The typical cautionary tale - there are a number of players swimming around who fashion themselves sharks. When you first interact with them, it will be hard to tell. Get to know individuals and ask copious questions of them and others. You'll get a feel for who is who and from that, chat. Read their profiles and their blogs if they have them. Write blogs if you are inclined or comment in the Forum and learn a bit more before you jump into any "relationship". And I hope you don't mind if I advise, it can be a really exciting and heady thing that gets out of hand fast if you don't heed caution and take it slow. There are a few very knowledgeable and nice individuals you shall find here who can be a great source of information. Good luck.