Trust

Kelpi • Jan 7, 2025

I try to go by what I call the " shut up and listen method" at first. We get to know each other a little then when she is ready I shut up and listen to what happened to her to give her trust issues. I have made more friends by just listening. Once she has told her tale I try and not to touch on sore spots that or talk about things that will trigger her in any way. These are things that will have to be worked on later as she grows and is able to deal with.

Having a firm hand a soft touch and an open mind to what she has been through and needs is the best way to start. Time is also needed. Rushing into something is never good if you want it to last. Talking openly and honestly is the only way to go in our lifestyle. I have seen good people get hurt and worse when they found out they were lied to. There are many ways to ruin trust but so very few to get and keep it.

A sub gives all her trust her Dom does not hurt her. A Dom gives his trust the she will not lie about what she want and how much she can take. There we have the ying and yang of or relationship. A bond of trust on both sides that walk a line thinner than a razor. A wrong move or word will break her as it will with him. Trust is never given but earned.

mysterysoul​(masochist female) • Jan 9, 2025

Trust in yourself to bloom, grow, and embrace those who respect you slowly. Earn trust, be a friend at first, and not jump into a relationship. What you bloom is the courage to try to give people a chance, listen, and see how their behaviors and how they treat you. Dom should be willing to grow for themselves, with growth willing to keep its word.


 But growth is a choice up to you  no one can force you to  grow into things  you're not ready for but only do what you can work on the rest as you go.  People can help you but never be afraid to ask for help from those you trust  but take some advice lightly you can listen but you will take how you feel and find yours it's your life.  


Before stepping  in still be in the lifestyle but work on being the partner for yourself with loving yourself saying good things to yourself like you love someone.  Be sexy for yourself health mind and soul do a daily cleansing of caring for yourself with self care with self love  , start your day off changing the mood with taking the time for yourself having a good morning break re balancing with tai chi and put faith in getting in your zen zone allow the self to center yourself  in zen zone out being worthy of yourself put peace and value the trust will come to you in within. 


Tai Chi can be considered good for self-trust, as its practice encourages a deep mind-body connection, promoting awareness of your physical sensations and allowing you to develop a sense of control and confidence in your movements, which can translate to a greater sense of self-trust in other areas of life.  Always put yourself first, things need to be done, want to get done, the rest the world can wait. But if you have any past burdens or past trauma, take a nice bath and relax and allow yourself a saying: cut cords of the past and things and release with peace. Send it sailing that your present is not your past, your present is a new foundation, newer things to come only good can only serve you. 

Bring your power and everything that belongs to you back. So the missing pieces that you may not have got in the past cherish yourself in the present, write loving notes to yourself , and complement yourself , Find loving quotes and follow inspirational things without force.  The first love you will ever met is right in front of you that is you so put romance in to yourself , your nice perfume , a nice outfit , new hair do , bring out your features for yourself with some  white rice toner you make yourself find on a video the rice toner beings out your glow will advance your confidence but the rice toner can also be used like a lotion the body to helps protect your skin even skin and fine lines make you feel whole again. 


So reward yourself, have a picnic , buy yourself flowers even if they are fake ones, put some around the house that will bring out your essence but each day fill your essence light the fire for yourself that the moment you wake up say I am Value , I am Wise , I am Capable of doing anything . First thing also when you wake up open some blinds make yourself some tea and coffee set aside your phone even if it's rainy whatever day get some fresh air sit on the patio or step bring a chair do some breathing methods in and out bring in good and release what needs to go more you do this you feel at ease.  So whatever you believe, have the faith to step forward, ask what you believe, allow it to guide you, and just allow it to have patience in everyday life. Investing in a jar of dill pickles helps calm the mind with a mindset in times of anxiety that to nourish you that your courage inside allows your courage to be your strength that is already within. Cut the pickles so you have more through the time and take them as a snack during the day.


Trust is great but don't trust just anyone  cause anyone can claim to be something but has nothing to prove or show. It's until they are willing to prove to you and show it that should be in the beginning stages when they are interested in you they need to get emotionally  invested in you before getting hooked.  But should show the effect and blue prints and keep proving  their word  pursuing you and willing to keep you around and happy, keep slowly working on and keep chasing you to keep you around.  Anyone can claim to be Dominant but good one won't have to tell you they just show you in gentlemen manner because  know one can just own you just because you are online does mean they can just owe you either it's earned not given they just be willing to earn your heart and trust and be willing to show with with by exchange of energy with blueprints and effect.  Go by sweet effect not sweet words. 


 The fast  pretend Dom's are just try to see how they make person tick how fast they get results to see what else one can do try to demand things they drive to a app or phone call to quick just saying some can come off nice but once they try to lure you to quick to a app or phone their behavior changes they demand person do silly tricks and bark orders and try to say if you don't do these things or prove they will try to put words in your mouth/mind   like your not real sub you don't listen. The Pretend Dom's who force demands and actions right away are just what a thrill with a show they act this way because they are insecure not the happy kind they can't really find a date in the real realm cause people see how they are in behavior how they treat them.  So anyone who claims to be Dom right off the bat is just a pretend one.  

Their are pretend ones might be good at getting in mind it's a narcissistic behavior tactic They will tell a person they only want you they feel a connection right away know one can just get connection in first messages then they plot the sex stuff try to romance  with the casanova sexual stuff like some fake love spell  try to pursue you with so that they try to get person to perform task try to get you all hot tell you well let's go to a app then once you get to app they say get on voice right now or I am hanging up they may say Your no real Sub just a wannabe. 
 For your own sake or anyone's this your life your body and your temple and profile anyone that messages you should respect your temple and your wishes or the gate is closed.  Ways to respond : Just not feeling it. I have a lot of things to do but I wish you the best. And No Answer is an Answer and so is the block button.  If they get mad let them be their reflection of themselves, not your doing.

 Never give your phone number or your personal information or real name if anyone demands this right away its a red flag and don't have to put up with it.To any female/male Sub/Slave  it would be best to leave out any personal health or weakens issues or situation cause pretend Dom's like to prey on fresh new profiles/those new to the lifestyle also the sensitive type for their own pleasure and not care about your feelings. Submissive/Slave weakness does not mean weak it meant to be strong use your mind and speak up for your feelings when does not feel right if not the same then it's a no then you need to depart yourself when they not respecting you or not willing to have communication and work it out just end it. This is why it is good to set Valid boundaries knowing one has the right to do things and if it does bring you peace they are not the one. 



 BDSM should be out of love not hate or anger.  Know one can force feelings on you if they keep bothering them everywhere and report to the mods but you may need some kind of proof if anything screenshot and copy paste you will need to go to the profile of this person who is bothering you to report it.  This is why the pretend Dom's want to take it off a site to an app so you don't need to play their game and detach yourself.  But if a sub has any problem with their living situation it's best to look for resources or churches in your area, never try to relocate to someone in the lifestyle if you never meet them. Take care of yourself first because jumping into a life you don't know may not be anything better.
 I know its a sub's true nature to want someone to lead and take the hand lead the way but trust fact is BDSM can wait for you will always be here but look out for the welfare of your life if your in abusive situation then call 911 ask the dispatcher your in domestic situation need to get out they will send a officer or someone to help you but you must be willing to have courage lift yourself walk out with your belongings you ask for the police also help escort you out with your things they will take you to safe haven but thing is you will be safe but better then going to another abuse situation. You must always put yourself first  before the lifestyle.



 I know one might have ache for pain for punishment but don't use as that get yourself to safety  in real world because pain and punishment with captivity can make the mind closed in with shutting yourself off allowing someone to take control you need to be around caring people and nature not locked up in a place why you need to to care for yourself and mend the past and bring goodness to your present timing. know one can really fix anyone life not even a Dom but ya tough times may come but the courage to dust yourself off and try again find some friends in the lifestyle but support yourself also even outside of the lifestyle get out do things take a class , have a routine , get a little exercise , check out a book the time you have with yourself giving yourself space to move on in life. 



 And offline and off phone space is also too much tech. You need to have space also even when you sleep.  But another thing that needs to be brought up is that some pretend Doms are looking for someone to carry them in life so when they ask personal questions right off the bat tell them your professions are not anything higher or if they ask what you make they say it's lower. 


Some  these so called pretended Doms are looking for a sugar mama and want you Financially and lure their way to sweet you in so they will prey on young , older lady's have money that are making more because they are not Financially happy they will grace that they are say they are athletic and all this kind of stuff use some old faded photos but they won't let you see anything recent they don't wanna ruin the punch line to get to you so they control you have control over you  Financially will enter in to marriage quick so they take everything. Best not to say you're independent but if you want to beware  If you write you are independent be aware that  some pretend Doms are gonna bother you try to force submission right away on you and sweet talk into things want to rush and relocate don't fall for the trickery. 



Some of these pretend Doms can be someone just walking out of jail or even a felon so they will look for someone who is going through things or even happy to try to pull you down to submit to them to relocate you to control you don't fall for it if they want to come live with you.  
They are not willing to show recent photos or talk on cam or voice when they have too many excuses to decline a block.  They will make excuses because they want to meet you first in real life to show themselves that it is a waste of time to try to win you over. 


They feel sorta bad how they are living and don't fall for it. Anyone one who is trying to pressure a relationship right away is not a relationship, it's just to get you where they want you. Share only very little about yourself don't go in to detail these suckers bring up exes a lot like they are still in love with them they why they even looking any ways they looking for someone to replace but not care about your needs but will take all your needs and try to dumb you down to submit don't fall for that ether. They will also try to belittle you by trying to make you sweet like saying everything will be OK. Crying it out when nothing happens they wanna pick at you to make you cry  to get in your mind to decline yourself at this point. 
This is why you can't trust everyone just because you want some BDSM and they feel not everyone's energy is good for you. Never meet anyone right away until they prove to do voice and cam keep clothes on no force of naughty stuff they treat in good manner. Right one will respect  you and keep respecting you, the wrong ones will pay respect at first then try to find ways to break your respect but rush you.  They five you peace not a headache if they keep blaming stuff on you but can't admit their own actions decline. They are not the kind for you, they just are not happy they want someone to pick at. 

If a profile of pretend Dom has to many red flags not many photos or resent look old  right away protocols of dangers and using just 24/7 photos and says no drama no this no that they don't like you having a mind these so called ones are more just playing a game to control you try to capture you hold you not let you have friends or care so be careful who you get with don't even respond. Anyone who wants to choke you, write away or give you sex talk, what they are going to do with you is the wrong energy. Also if they come off submit to me now , or call you bad names like hello slut or shorts words they just want you to submit and send nudes and phone sex decline.  


Not everyone is poly but their some also pretend Dom's and Sub couples they will ask every single sub on the loop to join them or play but won't read your profile its really the pretend Dom that makes their sub do these things to get another to join them or play really they don't let the sub have a say really just the pretend Doms fantasy not caring about anyone else what says in your profile or not. Also want to pretend Doms are playing as a Sub saying I am moving. My Dom is single now and he wants to be with you. But poly should never be forced on someone only for one person. Unless someone that might be that be Ok but never force it.



So if it sounds too good to be true but true anyone coming with a story thinks they know you they don't just decline block. But some pretend Doms will look for a third try to force keep bothering other subs this not good behavior nothing in lifestyle will work.  Some Doms might having a breeding fantasy or hucow so this another thing you want to avoid they want someone to relocate right away you have know ideas how they treat you but only using you for sex and beat you but no after care but could leave on the side of the road and drive off this way you want to be selective with your heart who you get with. 


Just cause you might be into some taboo you're not just for anyone.  Right person should take the time over time to get to know you, not rush to meet and relocate without meeting either the Dom wants to meet they should meet you where you are not forced to do anything. Take a good year to get to know someone and a few trips back and forth meeting in the middle. 


That some pretend Doms are messaging you all at the same time on different account well a site can only do so much but if seems to talk the same tag lines not much to say don't answer back only allow prem to only send mail if someone likes heart your profile you go read it message them if does seem odd. But they're also fresh profiles people fresh looking like a teen to young to be on a place putting they are in to tpe the photos are stolen  old only one photo not much to say its a scam or its a guy behind it or someone pretending to be younger well you never know something fishy block it.
  As I said anyone can say they are someone you never know they are not willing to cam then something is up. If you see something that seems of age level to young to be here, report it.  Good to be selective but keep your option open. You won't find your true love in one location. You need to open up to 30 mins to hour or even states away but it's up to you to make work. If you find a connection then keep it growing with courtship be friends first.Watch out for the florida ones not saying all but they have big BDSM down there but some pretend to be a Dom will give you sweet talk they will protect you and relocate once you get on the phone it's nothing but abuse and sex but they ignore you only come when around when they need sex some have sex addiction also bad drinking habits they won't tell you at first but the behavior will show.



 Not just this location, be anywhere someone rushing you get off the app don't respond to them and block it's just a game for them to get off. Read people horoscope signs not all may not be like it but some have traits will not work on or habits. They keep bring up ex only talk about them self they need a mommy to do them in the butt well that some signs  some pretend have just over do sex addicts only want porn nothing really real unless you got money they want or you look good only want you for sex and then leave like that not want to take you out do anything for you. I also want to say to any pretend Dom that keeps talking about exes they may have made sex figures that they want sub makes 6 figures because they are trying to hint you that you should be making that to get you to be with them. Anyone can give you numbers of how much you should make it a scam. Anyone who asks you your weight and size right away but see your photos a lot of people carry more skin it's not the 1950s everyone carries it different more fats in food.

You may not look your size. They say well I only like this size well then why they bother does matter what your size is how you carry yourself. 
The ones that are insecure will ask about your size and weight and want to know if you're independent and making a lot of money. And if you have automated voice message on messenger turn it off some pretend Doms will use this as excuse to be little you say your dumb and your profile does not make send that you must submit and become brainless these are some things also look at you settings on the messenger that you don't need voice messages they just to laze you don't have to put up with it block then report. 


Don't get too attached getting with someone, take your time, see how they treat you if they are willing to meet you, not make you. If anyone wants to, they will find ways to meet you and keep making time for you. Subs take a friend if you meet anyone do it in town over or big major city not your own home town. Should be in broad daylight in a public place. Always have a back up plan, put your location on so friends and family can see you. Have a friend sit at a different table at a cafe so the person won't know if you need to leave, say go to the bathroom with your sign to leave. Have friends and family call you where you will be. 

Never shack up in a hotel right away  to have sex with anyone you meet, get to know someone first, have your own funds or camp out in a state park. If you don't have the funds, have the Dom get a room for you to say well not into sharing a room. Good to play it safe and safe sex both people are tested always use protection but sex can wait don't do it right away don't get to attached. You meet someone for the first time, even the feelings can change.
 You need to know they have the same spark and chemistry as online. Nothing can be forced. Two people need the same connection; one can not do it alone. Someone has a std as long as they are upfront using some kind medication that helps  not all people care as long as you are honest. But also have a plan b and sperm spray now one needs an unplanned pregnancy you get from any pharmacy. Always use protection and dental dams even with oral sex and kissing. Clean up self before and after and women you need to pee and clean after for self just as men. If a person is not willing to be clean or clean up after self why you are meeting them then they are not for you. Try not to spend so much to please this person. 


If the first time meeting you wait a few days to do anything sexual you want to please best to please yourself, but embrace it if they want to be part of it they should be happy to even be part of it. Never allow someone to stay over the first day or at your place or theirs. Never get in a car with a person you just meet and have your own transportation. If they wanna help with transportation that is fine but have your own. If they humiliate you in public make sure you have some back up plan to leave and funds to get back home. Why they want to meet a Dom should meet the sub first so they feel protected and safe. Some people might be married if people are into that but some may not tell you but if they are too busy and vanish they have excuses all the time you hear kids and another person they are trying to be quiet it's really that they are taken you need to excuse yourself from this. Be selective with your heart and time. Find what you like and don't like in the lifestyle but don't need to share all limits and desires wait til it's the right time with the right person.

mysterysoul​(masochist female) • Jan 9, 2025

The Moments , Be there , Listening ear , Caring without asking for it . Ride or Die , Does care what you have, they only want you to stick with you know matter what , Stay in the lows and highs , Teamwork balance , Through the thick and thin , They don't give up on you they run after you say stay will fight for you through the madness.

Date each other like you first meet ,Have Fights work through things out ,Do silly things together and laugh , Still commentate , never get sick of each other , Date them like you first met them , Show up for self and each other everyday, Support each other , The little things that count don't cost a thing , Surprise you, Running away together not telling everyone but only few circle of friends , sharing the bond.

Tell you good morning , Did you eat did you sleep do I need to picked up these are things saying love without saying it. , They are willing to help you with things , Help with dreams and goals , so that you don't have to change for them. They see through you for who you are , A soulmate of two people going through everything together , and refusing to give up on one another.


Something so imitate about handmade stuff , handmade bread , handmade presents , handwritten letters , in general intimacy and tenderness are stored in hands , in holding hands and playing with each other's fingers , warming each other's hands. Fascinated by soul , depth , intellect , rebellion , with cause , love without condition, ,music that makes you feel different . . . .that matters.

My "I got you" Is as powerful as F#ck, like I really got you. through trial & error, break down & break through, sunshine & storm, I'm here.

Your love will know exactly how to deal with you.,Flaws & all...Your relationship should be a safe haven , not a battlefield. The world is hard enough.

Passion takes a leading hand to lead the way. Feed my soul , arouse my mind , channel the connection , emotionally invested on soul level spark with growth.


it takes someone very special to wake up what comes to the heart

.Love is not enough it needs aligned values, vision, and lifestyle in order to maintain any healthy relationship.

It's rare that you find someone with enough emotional and mental patience and maturity to work through the sh#t with. Like actually communicating , and losing their ego because they value the connection more than their pride, You gotta leave your ego at the door in love. It's a must

.Just like flowers require water to keep them beautiful. People require love , honesty , respect , trust , passion energy to keep them beautiful too.Once we give that , then we just may find that the god and goddess we been looking for has been right in front of you us all along.


Safe sex is not always wearing a condom, It's being careful who you mix your soul with.


Yeah anyone can want it but takes that one special person to actually value you.Not about who wants you. It's about values and respects you.

The man or woman you choose to be your partner affects everything in your life. Your mental health, Your peace of mind,your love inside you, your happiness, how you get through trades, your successes, how your children will be raised , and much more. Choose wisely. Love slow that last , No rush. Sure and Stable. Consistent .You deserve the love.


You deserve someone that's sure of you. that you're sure of.Dance , Sing , read , to each other , breathe together - communicate. Don't count on sex to be the door to intimacy. It's the other way around first to develop intimacy skills . Then make love to enjoy them.We all things have a story. And no matter how much work you've done on yourself. We all snap back together. So be easy on yourself. Growth is a dance. Not a light switch.Some just want good company, a person to vibe with , converse with and laugh without in a rush. Start off simple , and let the rest find itself."Important encounters are planned by the soul long before the bodies see each other."

Don't need a million matches, only need one eternal flame.


No man on this earth becomes strong without experiencing some deep dark pain.

If you want a woman with value, you have to stop chasing girls" means that constantly pursuing a woman with excessive effort can often have the opposite effect, making her less interested; instead, focus on building genuine connection, respecting her boundaries, and presenting yourself as someone who is confident and not overly desperate, which can be more attractive in the long run.

Choose your lady wisely she represents you. Lady' seek respect not attention , It lasts longer.

But if you chase and flirt with all the girls she won't be interested she only wants one.

Genuine Gent is always going to put his woman first.

He will always treat his gal like a genuine priority in life.

Her mindset will raise your children, not her body and looks. Choose wisely.


Invest in long term love , not short term lust. A gentleman only has eyes for one lady.

If she doesn't scare the hell out or you little , she is not the one.


A Genuine lady is an investment, an immature one is only a bill.


A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl.

I asked a millionaire how he did it. He said forget about girls and focus on one woman with value. She will help you achieve everything.A lady is a woman who makes it easy for a man to be a gentleman.

A woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing. A man's loyalty is tested when he has everything.True love isn't found , it is built. Falling in love is easy.

Having sex is easier but bumping into someone that can spark your soul , that shit is rare.

Be with someone who motivates you to succeed but loves you the same when you are unsuccessful. Your battle is my battle , we fight together.

A Genuine Gent can wait for a lady.

If everyone wants it I don't want it.


Nothing will motivate a valued man like the right woman with value.

If you don't fight for what you want , Don't cry for what you lose.

Most want someone who is already successful. Being strong will be part of their struggle , survive it , Succeed together and build an empire.

Person who is going to interdose you to the next level the best relationship is when you can act like lovers and best friends at the same time

.Relationship with no gender roles. We Both hustle, we both cook , we both clean , we both pay , we are romantic, we spoil each other.

. Without communication there's no relationship and without respect there is no love and without trust there's no need to continue.

JenX • Jan 9, 2025

I totally feel with you on trust stuff. {hugs}
After my world was obliterated, I found that redefining trust and following a check list to be super helpful.
The checklist I use to this day, to measure whether a person is trustworthy is from Brène Brown's book called "Braving the Wilderness."
The book talks about applying this list to self-trust as well, and you can find details about the categories online.
Over time, I look at whether or not ppl have patterns of behavior that align with this list.

Here is the BRAVING checklist:

Boundaries: Clearly defining what is and is not acceptable
Reliability: Following through on commitments and being dependable
Accountability: Owning mistakes and taking responsibility for actions
Vault: Keeping confidences and not sharing information that is not yours to share
Integrity: Choosing courage over comfort, and practicing values
Nonjudgment: Accepting others without making assumptions or passing judgment
Generosity: Extending the most generous interpretation to the intentions, words, and actions of others

Hope this helps. May you be blessed.

The Number one Sir​(dom male) • Jan 9, 2025

Ironic as I'm going through this right now from the other side.
My new to me sub has trust issues for various reasons, including bad relationships in the past. She also deals with stress issues.

For one thing as her Dom I'm being super patient with her, she doesn't live that far away from me but we have yet to meet despite talking now for 2 months since we met. I'm letting her get to know me, not just from a dynamic perspective but also just in general, with time usually red flags become apparent when you're getting to know someone as it's hard to really hide yourself over a long period of time.
She's never been in a Dom/sub relationship before so I'm gradually introducing her to certain aspects of it and always checking in on how she feels about it, someone asking her how she feels in a relationship is very new to her and also the idea of not thinking for someone else but instead just being honest about her thoughts and feelings with me.

She's definitely into the sexual aspects of it but the other forms of influence and control are really new. She knows she needs help from me in dealing with her bad sleep habits (among other things on the list) but right now she's not checking in with me enough for me to praise or punish her appropriately. It's something I'm trying to figure out.

Trust takes time and patience, it all seems worth it in the end however...

Aradia Nightshade​(other female) • Jan 21, 2025

Trust is earned, not given. No dom should expect trust straight out the gate. No human being should expect trust right away.

One of the things that helps me when it comes to trust is just trusting my instincts. If something seems off, it very well might be off. It could also be your anxiety or insecurity fooling you. This is where talking to your dominant might help you determine whether your fears are getting the best of you or if there is a real cause for concern. But regardless of the reason for your mistrust, you should never rush it or ignore it. If a dom cannot wait for this, they aren't the right one for you.

I will share something that might help. People who cannot be trusted often have little to no patience. If someone is consistently there for you, does what they say they are going to do, and shows up when they say they are going to, this is a sign that they are probably trustworthy (though it's not a guarantee). A predator playing the long game can stick around and pretend to be everything you need. But these types are rare. Most people cannot sustain a charade for very long. It sounds boring, but a reliable person who has been around for an extended period and does what they say they are going to every time (except for a rare emergency). This is not the only criterion to consider when trusting someone, but I believe it's a significant factor.

So the first action, if I were a dom(me), would be to be this reliable person. It is essential to point out that trust goes both ways. It is not just the dom that has to prove they are trustworthy. You can mirror the dom in terms of reliability. Be honest about when you can be available to communicate. As time passes, little bits of data can be shared that prove the person is who they say they are. Most people aren't going to send you their real name and employment details right away to prove that they can be trusted. If they do so, they are either new or in a situation where it doesn't matter if their kink is revealed. Knowing why it doesn't matter is essential, too! Note that if they lack discretion, they may not be discreet or careful about your information, which could expose your lifestyle. Make sure they are discreet with your information, even if they are not about their own. They may even be sending you information connected with a false identity. Some people are comfortable video chatting right away, and this can at least confirm they are being truthful about their appearance. However, it doesn't verify anything about their home life, e.g., marriage or kids. It's not being married or having kids that is a problem; it's not being truthful about it to you or the spouse, which is the problem.

There are many paths to trusting a person, but I believe reliability is the foundation of this trust. Once they can consistently be there for you and do what they say they will, you can start exploring other things. I've been online, like many here, for several years. I have trusted very few. Fortunately, my instincts and decisions led to trusting the right people. But even I don't have a formula for trusting that would be guaranteed to work. Communication, reliability, honesty (including disclosing if there's a question you do not wish to answer), and being authentic are all things that build trust. Share only what you are truly comfortable with; don't let anyone pressure you into sharing things you don't want to.

You said that online, it's "nearly impossible" for you to trust someone. There is a legitimate possibility that you will never trust anyone online. For you, this might mean getting involved with people online but never trusting them, robbing you of a true, potentially beautiful, submissive experience. Submitting to someone you don't trust is not really true submission. You could, however, initially meet someone online and, after establishing a certain level of trust, make arrangements to meet them in person. At this point, you may not trust them fully but have enough to take the next step. Location is not as much of a barrier as in the past; there are planes. But for this situation, you need to be potentially interested in moving, or the dom does. If neither can relocate, there's no sense in pursuing a relationship unless both find it fulfilling to be long-distance. You could be someone who must have an in-person relationship to have the potential to trust. If this is the case, when meeting people who are not local, it would be best to indicate you are fine with meeting online but that if a relationship were to happen, it would need to be in person. Your beliefs on this topic may change, but if they don't, it's okay to decide you don't want a strictly online relationship. It's just important you are honest about it. I hope you find a happy relationship and experience how wonderful it is to trust and be trusted fully.