Advice

Advice

cherrypetals​(sub female) • Jan 23, 2025

Hi, i'm currently vetting a "Daddy Dom" and would like some advice since this would be my first time.
I have asked him a lot of questions and i noticed that when the question is sexual in nature, he is fast to go into detail and be very specific of want he wants. But when i try to question him about things around being a 'Daddy dom' he tends to be evasive.
I asked yesterday, ¿Can you explain how you would perform aftercare?
After being a bit evasive he wrote back..

"Well everything basically if you imagined you were a baby, how much looking after that needs to be done, i would do the same to you now".

I'm not satisfied with this answer but he seems reluctant to be more detailed and i'm not sure if i'm being pushy or annoying if i where to get on his case about it.
Can anyone give me some advice on what i should do, or if maybe i'm being too sensitive?
This my first vetting process with a potential "Daddy Dom " and i'm not really sure what to do.

K y i v​{Walking} • Jan 23, 2025

Trust your gut that is screaming at you.

NarahPrimal​(sub female) • Jan 23, 2025

I don't think you being to pushy at all, this is what vetting someone is all about.. If it was me I would ask for more of a in-depth explanation.
Please remember when your vetting you are both equals and you are allowed to question his answers for more details.. I think any good Dominant would be happy to explain more and would want you to have a good understanding.

cherrypetals​(sub female) • Jan 23, 2025

I have tried to get him to be more specific and to be more detailed but he always answers short or can go hours without answering.

What i wrote above was his detailed answer after asking him twice to be more specific.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female)​{LJ} • Jan 23, 2025

Sounds like he’s only really put thought into the sexual part of a dynamic.
Does he claim to be experienced? You could try asking what he has done for his past submissives’ aftercare.
Also just a note..your aftercare should be what you need. If you don’t have experience and don’t know what you need, think about it together and discover together. You might want chocolate, a stuffed animal, and being held. You might just need water and praise. Some subs just want to be left alone.
Take your time getting to know this Dom. Not just your compatible kinks but his character.
Best of luck to you.

NarahPrimal​(sub female) • Jan 23, 2025

I'm not that long into the lifestlye myself and still learning, but I think when it comes to this lifestlye communication is so important and being comfortable knowing that you can ask questions. I think if it was me and this is just vetting it would be red flags. I would be worried "well if this is now, what is the dynamic going to look like?"
I have my own triggers and one of them is silence I need that constant contact or a reason why they won't be available and I'm good.
Please always remember your worth and don't settle. Sending big hugs

MidSummerDream​(neither female)​{BothHold🗝} • Jan 24, 2025

They are not ready for the responsibility of the commitment to take on a baby girl. Thier in fantasy Lala land and best to just excuse yourself and let them grow. But they might not know but wish them the best that they heal and grow. They have to figure that one out for themself.

There are baby girl but also there is baby boy's as well.

Babygirl needs to feel safe and protected and calm to allow anyone in.
Babygirl needs tender loving care and a good Daddy strong hand to lead her and help her grow and bloom. But it takes a grown-up daddy to understand.
No matter the person everyone aches someone to lean on.


 Baby girl aches for Daddy's figure-like of Head of the hold.
Take the right person to understand and have patience
They have a Guarded heart but it comes naturally and just needs to be molded some things come with but everyone comes with things it's just they have to break out To get out of their shell they need guidance from their partner but they have to be willing but might tame time baby steps.
Someone to kiss the bobo, wipe the tears, to hold her , to rock her, to read her stories, and help go to sleep, make her healthy meals. She carries her stuffies or a blankie she may wear cut things. But some baby girls are gothy or pink or whatever they feel. She needs knee pads to crawl to her daddy, lots of colored books , sippy cups , cartoons, pillow to sit on and lay on. They crave the daddy they will need daddy's baba at time to suck on to keep them calm.

And so they crave attention and love but are fine to be sassy sometimes but takes time for them to blossom more to more growth side.  They just need support to balance.  It can also help the partner.

But let the baby girl be themself molded with their partner's leadership hand.  But molded together the yin and the yang.  More like clay with a chisel molding in layers.

They need discipline and structure out of love but also with rewards to grow. They need a stable home to go to many baby-like ones are in adoption mode.
They may need things taken away or spanked, Learn to take on responsibility with structure with your help.  

Time to be grown and time to be sassy.

Both sides are building but it will take some growing of the relationship and molding together.



George Michael - Father Figure (Official Video - featured in 'Babygirl')



Daddy DOM/Little Girl Relationship
https://domsgentlemans.weebly.com/daddy-dom.html

MidSummerDream​(neither female)​{BothHold🗝} • Jan 24, 2025

Not cut meant they wore cute things. Colored books are coloring books.
Babygirls need to be leashed at times so they don't wander. They need binkie gags when it is time for discipline out of love. But a binkie to fall a sleep as well.

Lots of maintenance spanking, to pick out the paddle for daddy to paddle their bottom red. Learn to count every spanking. Your butt will be red so every time you sit down you will know your daddy's property.
Babygirl bound kit.
Daddy does need to give aftercare and bathe their baby girl and play doctor and inspect her. Babygirl writes her goals and dreams so Daddy can help her achieve her goals and dreams. Because a good Daddy would support baby girl in every way.


Sky Ferreira - Leash

House Talion​(dom male) • Jan 24, 2025

Good to keep such a Dom at arms length till they've proven themselves worth your in-person time.

Lay in your tight lil ball. I'll hand you your stuffy as I wrap myself around my little spoon covering your cheeks in lil kisses
-was that more to your liking?

He might just need more experience being a daddy and less xp being a Dom or he could be just someone else using this lifestyle to get sex, idk.

lambsone • Jan 24, 2025

I have the same problem with my Master. What I am trying right now is to pick a part of one thing I want to know like "what is your most favorite thing for a sub to do?" Hopefully he can come up with one answer at least. But this is a very slow process if they won't offer up information readily.

Mine has had subs before and to help jog his mind about what kinds of things he would do to me daily, I asked him what he did with his other subs. He said that they were each different. I said well give me a general idea of it then. He said he'd think about the answers. I'm still waiting. I think by delaying his answer, he may be hoping that I forget I asked it.

Maybe some men like to play things by ear on the spur of the moment. And do whatever the moment warrants. They may prefer to meet life as it comes. But still, if you are going to take on the responsibility for someone else's life, you have to let them know what the game plan is. They can't hang in limbo forever.

So you aren't alone. I'm still in the process of trying to Crack open the "safe" of his thoughts, feelings, experiences to learn what type of life I'd have with him. I would say if you continue to get evasive answers, eventually he won't be worth the trouble. Can you imagine what a dry life you would have with someone who doesn't reciprocate in conversation?