D/s on opposite schedules

D/s on opposite schedules

Sir McJ​(dom male) • Nov 5, 2025

Hi All, I'm new in here, but no stranger to Dom/sub dynamics, and I'm hoping to get some advice or ideas.

My Babygirl and I have been in full time D/s for several years now, but my company has moved me to night shift hours, and she works during the day. In short, most of the week we only see each other in a couple of 20 minute segments per day. Rituals have proven very difficult to maintain and rules very difficult to enforce, at least in the ways we have in the past. It has reached a point of frustration for both of us... neither of us wants to give up the dynamic, but things cannot continue as they are.

We are in the process of reassessing rules, rituals, etc., and I've only recently come across this platform. Is there anyone else in here that has faced a similar challenge? What are some ways we can keep things active and fresh with very limited time in-person? Thanks in advance.

House Talion​(dom male) • Nov 5, 2025

You have to plan time together. I get to see my sub for one weekend a month at most, so we make the most of it

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • Nov 6, 2025

I’m with House Talion — you really do have to schedule that time. My situation over the last year has morphed into something similar to what you’re describing. My partner is FIFO, gone for weeks at a time, so when he is home we have to commit to the time we get together. It doesn’t have to stop ,it just needs to look different. You absolutely can keep the D/s dynamic going, even with distance and mismatched schedules.

You might find it helpful to bring in some online or remote D/s tactics to bridge the gap. Remote vibes or plugs can be fun if your breaks line up. Think about what you can “control” that she can “submit” to without interfering with work. Clothing assignments or underwear rules work well — she can send a quick photo to confirm she’s followed instructions. A simple “Red on Monday” protocol can keep the dynamic alive all week.

Use tech to your advantage: messages that can be read later, voice notes, photos, quick check-ins, even leaving tasks she’ll discover on her break. You can write stories together — a line at a time via text — and let the tension build. Or give her small tasks she can do throughout the day that keep you in her mind and keep her in yours.

Even simple things help: pelvic floor exercises she must do when a certain timer goes off, or a rule that she must send you a nightly reflection before bed. Little rituals that fit the new lifestyle.

The goal is to keep each other present, connected, and in that heat so that when you do get your in-person moments, the dynamic is already alive and ready and heated and doesn't need preheating, wasting time. Think outside of the box helped me adjust.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female)​{🍕+☕} • Nov 7, 2025

Bonnie had some fantastic ideas so here are a few more:

You can have your sub write erotic stories with the two of you as fictionalized main characters. She can use settings that connect to you both in some way (the location of your first date, or activity you did).

She can do certain tasks for you to help you leave the house such as tieing your shoes while on her knees. Make it a ritualized process.

I work nights myself so I know how difficult it is to have a social life AND sleep during the day.

I ALSO know that on this site is a couple who live across the WORLD from each other. They see each other a couple times a year and live their lives via video calls. Is that something you can include? Can you video call each other while at work? Each living your lives but connected?

Heart of Persephone​(sub female)​{owned} • Nov 7, 2025

Those few precious moments in daily passing can be just as deep and powerful as an entire evening together.

you wont be able to have the long drawn out protocols that you may have had before, you will have to sit together and decide on a more condensed version on the day where the time is limited.

It can still be very worthwhile and cherished times together.