Can't seem to meet a dominant women

Villanelle​(staff) • Nov 19, 2025

This article is always worth a read if you are looking for a mistress: https://thecage.co/magazine,166.html

Tributes are a bullshit scammer thing so I'd take it as a red flag and probably halt conversation altogether. It's not the same as buying a gift for your dominant in an established relationship. But needing to pay to engage someone is simply online scammer behaviour, performed by people who likely have no interest in D/s and are often not who or what they say they are.

And of course, please report them as asking for gifts, tributes, money, etc., violates our rules.

Servitwo​(sub male) • Nov 19, 2025

Wow thank you very much.. I've been having people ask for money or tributes.. I had a feeling it was a red flag. Thank you ill read that magazine. Thank you

Servitwo​(sub male) • Nov 19, 2025

People asking for money, or compensation for their time hence tributes

That is my opinion

Steellover​(sub male) • Nov 19, 2025

It is, sadly, not uncommon among submissive males to have trouble finding a partner. I can certainly relate. It is tough on many levels, especially when it comes to simple numbers. If you've been on this site for a while you will probably notice that female subs and male dominants greatly outnumber the "Other" dynamic, and sadly, male subs also greatly outnumber female dominants.

I don't know what the OP's experience level is or how long he has been in the hunt. I do know that, for a lot of newbies, it is easy to forget that you are looking for a RELATIONSHIP- just like in the vanilla world- and just like in the vanilla world, a relationship should be mutually fulfilling for both. It is far too easy to get so into your own sub-frenzied head, and focus too much on fulfillment of your own fantasies rather than on a real connection. Again, I am not saying this is true of the OP, as I have not read his blogs or posts; I apologize if I am being presumptuous. I do know from experience that sometimes, turning to a "Pro" or pay for play experience may help fulfill some of your fantasies in the short term, but in the long term you will still crave that lasting connection which a pro simply cannot offer.

SubStanChill​(sub male) • Nov 19, 2025

I second what Steellover said. For the long term, focus on building a relationship in which the dynamic can comfortably find a place. Don’t start the dynamic, expecting it to blossom into a relationship.

tribute is a small offering (cash) given to the domme/dom by the sub to be owned or speak (findom)

Yourgoddessrena​(neither female) • Feb 4, 2026

Villanelle​(staff) • Feb 4, 2026

Soliciting for money or gifts violates our rules. Please report any requests. Also tribute requests in exchange for engagement are not normal and are almost always scams.

https://thecage.co/magazine,252.html

The last section about avoiding scams may be of particular interest.

Re: Can't seem to meet a dominant women

GoddessAlex​{Dominant } • Feb 8, 2026

First and foremost, it is essential to recognize the difference between a slave and a submissive. As a Dominant Woman, I have specific qualities I look for when vetting a potential submissive. Like wanting to see the person behind the role rather than just an act. It’s important for a submissive to be educated in the lifestyle or, at the very least, willing to learn. Many individuals like myself value true submission and believe in taking the time to get to know one another, rather than feeling entitled to Dominance.

True Female Dominants often encounter many who claim to be submissive but do not genuinely embody that role. To stand out from the crowd, be different and remember to be yourself—this means acting like a genuine person and communicating authentically.

A dynamic is a form of a relationship; however, it is not always one where two people are dating or married. Many key components go into any kind of relationship, such as trust, communication, respect, and more. There is more to this type of relationship or dynamic than just the sexual aspects, both in and out of the bedroom, and a significant amount of time and effort is required from both the Dominant and the submissive. It takes time to find the right match; often, I have found that when you are not actively looking for someone, that is when they will find you.

I hope this helps!

Re: Can't seem to meet a dominant women

dollMaker​(dom male) • Feb 8, 2026

True this, true that..... what exactly does that mean, true to what?

Re: Can't seem to meet a dominant women

GoddessAlex​{Dominant } • Feb 9, 2026

I used the word "true" twice, but your question lacks clarity regarding what you are actually questioning. I will do my best to provide an answer. I took a look at your profile and noticed its great detail, which only adds to my confusion about how you phrased your question.

"True" can be defined as:
Adjective
1. In accordance with fact or reality.
2. Accurate or exact.

BDSM is a spectrum, meaning there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Within the BDSM community, there are different types of individuals, including players, kinksters, and lifestylers. What I perceive as "true" may not align with your perspective, and that's perfectly okay. I can only share my viewpoint, as I do not represent every Dominant (D-type) out there.

I can explain what I believe real and genuine submission looks like, but the more important question for you to consider is, "What do I see as true?" There are many characteristics that people, whether they identify as Dominants or submissives, can agree on regarding what makes someone inauthentic, as well as what defines a real or true D-type or S-type.

I hope this clarifies your question, as your question was quite short and vague. It’s not what I would typically expect from someone with a profile like yours.