For a Sapiosexual Submissive Female I Have Yet to Meet

Shiro​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2018

"Sapiosexual, as a term, exists now to be exclusionary."

Nothing exists now to be exclusionary. Every concept we come up with or idea we have is individually processed. Do not obey the fences of your mind. I think maybe the categorization is too broad, because I for one, do not see myself as you describe, whatsoever. I married a C+ student, but he had practical knowledge, and my super intelligent ass didn't even know how to talk to people, or handle some life-skill issues without him being there to teach ME.

I think you view knowledge of the arts and the inclination to use big words as being what a sapiosexual looks for in a man..I guess we disagree. I'm more piqued by your response (you actually wrote your own words, I appreciate that) than by the original post. Not to criticize it, the poster knows what he wants and there may be a female here that speaks to that; No one can ever truly find what they want without saying it and searching for it. The words he put in his post were meant to speak to a specific person, while also asking a question (a very common concept 'fake doms/subs').

I for one am not going to judge that, however, he did post it for all to see and respond. I again appreciate your words. And I totally get how the correlation between intelligence/arrogance can be. There are very arrogant, snobby, smart people. We aren't all like that though.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 26, 2018

So...


I read the article linked here.
It was offensive.
It was bullshit.

My love says but it was probably written by somebody who's been turned down by sapiosexuals on a regular basis.



Being exclusive in your love life is a good thing. And identifying is a sapiosexual is one of those ways of speaking to your mind and your crotch.


I'm a sapiosexual. How I relate to somebody on an intellectual level determines whether or not I will even spend time with them, much less bother to be intimate with them.


When I first met my love I asked her what were the qualifiers in her choosing a sexual partner. I remember very distinctly when she turned around looked at me and said " the bare minimum is that they need to know how to spell the word clitoris".


It was her way of saying brains matter.

Hot sexy conversations that are about a subject of which I know nothing and of which somebody has a remarkable amount of intelligence and Savvy about are for me automatic foreplay.



When my other partner starts talking about the DOE and oil, air, water frakking..... drop your drawers.

ChillVibes​(sub male) • Nov 26, 2018

@Shiro

It's less about the fences of one's own mind as it is about the definition of the word.

sa·pi·o·sex·u·al
/ˌsāpēōˈsekSH(o͞o)əl/

adjective: sapiosexual; adjective: sapio-sexual
1.
(of a person) finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.
"I met a PhD student from Germany who told me that he was sapiosexual"

noun: sapiosexual; plural noun: sapiosexuals; noun: sapio-sexual; plural noun: sapio-sexuals
1.
a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.
"I'm a sapiosexual and I like to talk"

The definition of the word is clear. My point remains that yes, everyone categorizes intelligence differently! This being true, everyone's definition of what makes someone smart, is different and subjective. This is not intrinsically a bad thing. But by saying you are attracted to intelligence, you are thereby saying that you are attracted to your perception of it, thereby saying that you are attracted to someone who meets your own subjective criteria and thereby rendering the usage of a word like "sapiosexual" meaningless. Everyone is attracted to qualities they deem positive and everyone has some form of high intellect or knowledge.

This brings me to my second point which is common usage. Despite the people who use this word in a truly innocent manner, the word has been commonly weaponized against demographics of people. For instance a racist white person, who deems minority culture and/or people undesirable, will use a word such as sapiosexual to dog-whistle, and circumvent the ire of people who would otherwise call out their racist behavior. It is also used to subjugate people of certain professions, religious beliefs, or anything else a person may deem unworthy or beneath them. This is also true of many phrases, this is simply the current one in the spotlight. This is in NO WAY saying that everyone uses this word in such a manner, nor is it a condemnation of the way you or the poster intend it, simply that it is too big of a problem to completely separate the "idealistic" from the "reality" of the usage.

EDIT: "Sapiosexuals" are also not a systematically oppressed group of people, as some make themselves out to be, and when they do so, it is a slap in the face to the sexual oppression many people faced for centuries.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 26, 2018

@Chill

Beautifully put.

Shit....


Now I'm horny......

ChillVibes​(sub male) • Nov 26, 2018

@MasterBear
I've audibly snorted laughing just now.

Dogwhistles :)

OpenDom​(dom male) • Nov 27, 2018

No worries, ChillVibes; we both have the right to make our own choices and possess our own values. That said, I relate to the term as "SAPIOsexual" (from Latin Sapiens = to be wise, or have taste) as much as I do to SCIENTIOsexual (from Latin Scientio = knowledge).

Knowledge, perceptiveness and analytical reflection are just part of the person I have always been, as is my love acquiring knowledge. Different strokes for different folks, but I accept who I am and prefer to spend my time with people whose characters function similarly. As such, I am perfectly comfortable with the term.

The ability to communicate with words - and not only those which have powerful cultural connotations - is predicated on shared understanding of their meanings. You're welcome to refer to "sapiosexual" as a dogwhistle, but it could just as easily be viewed as verbal shorthand. Same thing, I suppose, but shorthand is less judgmental, in my opinion.

If you feel that there is something inherently wrong or threatening in being sapiosexual (as the author of your citation does), you might just be 'Murican :friendly banter:

@MasterBear

You got it :)

OpenDom​(dom male) • Nov 27, 2018

Thanks - yes, I was trying to (and am continuing to try to) elicit 'intelligent' conversation, even if some recoil from the idea that intelligent conversation is a vice. It IS ironic that some apparently view sapiosexuality as arrogant, counterproductive and slightly immoral in a community which would (fairly justifiably) value tolerance and view itself as a tolerant one. LOL...

Interaction is fabulous, as long as it's not explicitly or implicity ad hominem sparring (see some of the posts, and I regret to say, some of my responses).

Maybe I will find her again, and maybe not, but even if I don't, I have plenty of like-minded/like-hearted friends in the vanilla world.

OpenDom​(dom male) • Nov 27, 2018

LOL/smile/gratitude for your chilling out/a good laugh at "doesn't"

<3

ChillVibes​(sub male) • Nov 27, 2018

I'm intimidated by intelligence, got me fam.