Why Don't You Use the Forum?

Why Don't You Use the Forum?

NaivelyOptimistic​(sub female) • Nov 20, 2018

As a child of the internet era, I grew up on websites and forums, finding my first real home on purplepjs.com (a site for tween and teen girls) when I was just 11. It's very familiar what I experience here, the feeling of contentedly drifting in and out of chatroom chit-chat and finding more acceptance and comfort with 'internet friends' than I often do with my RL ones.

But one thing I don't understand is the forum. 23,000 registered users, a pretty thriving daily blog roll, a chat that can throw a raucous party with 20 users, though I've heard rumors of up to 30 before. And then there's the forum... which feels like a fairly underutilized, but potential-full, part of the site. I think the regular contributors in the forum do a great job facilitating interesting conversations and sharing resources, but it does seem like most people aren't interested in this area. I'd like to know why there's not more action here: more posts, more responses on posts that I thought/think should generate them, more buzz, more sharing of experiences, etc.

Is it that the topics aren't relevant?
People don't love the way a forum works (the format)?
The nature of a forum (discussion/dissection) varies from the personal nature of many blogs and the communal nature of chat. Does that contribute greatly?
Is there anything that would help people engage more, especially those who are already members?

I write this not as a critique to the Cage staff (you guys are GREAT) but because I see so many here with so much wisdom to offer and experience to speak from, and I'm often sad that the jewels being offered in chat or in blog comment aren't being saved where more people could engage with and dialogue.

*I'm also very aware that I am still new and blind to many things. So set me straight on whatever I got wrong in this

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Nov 20, 2018

I post as often as I can. I tend to pop in most days. I wish I had more time to chat. I can be writing a post and walk away for little while. Check while at work or even use draft till I can post it. I cannot do that with chat.

This is the worst time for online communities and Adult sites. It is the season change.
Aussies are heading into Summer and the get out side weather. The USA and UK, Europe etc are heading into hunker down weather, that also is traditionally family related with Halloween,Thanksgiving etc. More people, in laws, kids etc home for holidays. Online time is of course limited when real life crashes in around it. Those lower on the equator are setting up for weather madness.

Its just 'that' time of year. Its happening on more sites than just here. Around Xmass day to New years there is always a serge, then a large disconnect that re fires again in February. The cage is marvelous in what they do to help this situation. I know i've gotten Emails with special deals etc and extended free chat use to combat this down time.

I do also think this generation (Waves, its nothing personal) aren't as into words or the effort it takes. They want instant. It isn't wrong, its just different. Some also fear their words being more permanent in nature. Posting you need to own your words. Words that can follow you for the life of the site (and longer with the likes of way back machines). Some often fear this style of interaction or fear appearing silly. We do live in a world that is geared toward big, bigger, biggest. All the old timers get it, we all need to start somewhere, just those new dont wish to appear that way. I can sorta understand too.

I do find myself holding back on occasions on posts, that I could reply too but can't due to the section they are posted in.
Out of respect I dont post to threads that are "submissive women-Dominant men" or "gay" "lesbian" for eg, just to name a few. I'm sure a lot of others do that same for the same reasons. It is respectful to not answer those but those gaps on the boards can make it appear that the rest of the site isnt popular. When in fact some sections are flying along.

It does often 'appear' on caged other creeds external to Maledom are over looked, if your not Maledom by nature or a switch (not true. the maledoms that are regulars, are VERY inclusive to other creeds, it can however <i>appear</i> lop sided when you first pop in here) 23,000 is a good deal of members but if you break down the mionorities, Maledom will always rule. Its just the nature of the population.

I think once you really look at the posts and give it time, they will see it isn't so daunting to post here or doesn't need to be. Its just going to take time to generate the other topics "external" to maledom related materials...so it appeals to more across the boards. I dont think it is a lack of use (for a set reason) but more a lack in numbers (compared to the general population) to those smaller minorities.

I'm looking forward to what others have to say.

SubforHim​(sub female) • Nov 20, 2018

I have noticed the same thing. I will follow to hear some other seasoned members answers.

I will say though, I have observed some forums that do turn less positive on quite a few occasions. While some of the regulars give awesome advice and it is always worth posting/reading, there are a few others that can be condescending or like to “call you out” for this or that. I think it can be intemidating for some, especially new to the lifestyle. Just my opinion.

CrimsonPaw • Nov 20, 2018

Love this question, NO

I'm not from the generation of forums and such, so this is all new to me. But I have seen these forums turn ugly very quickly. I'm a bit shy and timid, couple that with social anxiety and yeah, I steer clear of forums. I've made great connections in the chat room though. The friends there accept me, they are gentle with me as they know my personality. So I'm more comfortable popping into chat, asking my question and having a discussion.

But, I'll admit, the forums are one of the first things I read when I get on Cage. Maybe I'll give it chance sometime.
Thank you for inquiring about this. I'll be following to see others responses.

Resilient Pearl​(other female){Protected} • Nov 20, 2018

I’d been wondering the same thing myself.

I didn’t grow up with the internet, and outside of one visit over the weekend, I haven’t been in a chat room since the early 90’s (AOL), but I think the forums have a lot of potential here.

Ultimately, it is the prerogative of the end user to engage, but given the diversity and size of thecage’s member-base, I am surprised by the lack of engagement on forums.

Sometimes it’s a matter of ‘the power of the first person;’ others feel empowered to participate once someone else has asked a question they themselves pondered.

I’ve always been overly inquisitive, so I appreciate— but want to respect—the forum space, and try to limit to two questions a week or so +/-.

Fetlife has some pretty engaging forums, groups, etc., but it’s kind of a jungle over there.

-RP

Cithaeria • Nov 20, 2018

Hi Nai and cagefriends,
As I was about to click onto the next forum topic before responding, I had some insight about my own forum conduct.
I am guilty of reading everything and not responding. I do this even when I have something of substance to add to the conversation. Usually it’s a time constraint issue. Then it occurred to me that in the time that I could read several posts, I could read 1 and give a thoughtful response.
It’s a matter of self discipline. And self examination.
The chat room is a whole other animal. I never quite know what to say on there. I have a distinct fear of doing or saying the “wrong “ thing and so I opt to say nothing at all.
I’m glad you brought this up because it has pushed me to look at how I can grow as a person by utilizing this site a little differently than I have been.
Warmly ~Cithaeria

DrWakko • Nov 20, 2018

I think the forums are great. I tend not to post when I see the forum get to page three or so because I realize that everything I wanted to say has been said between all the posts so far.

The one thing thst annoys me about the forums are when people post just to be heard. For example you read a thread and half the people said the exact same thing. The verbiage might be a bit different but they said the same thing.

The other problem is that there are three different types of relationships going on (online, ldr, real life) and sometimes it’s hard to tell what type of relationship they are talking about. Each relationship type has its own needs and advice. Yes, the advice may cross between the three, but not always.

curiouskittyy​(sub female){GentlemanX} • Nov 20, 2018

Hmmm I tend to agree with what has already been said. I have spoken to a couple of subs on here who don’t know how to use and post on the forums lol. I think they are easy to navigate myself, but perhaps they could be simplified and arranged by interests more clearly (E.g the type of relationship they are in/looking for, as Wakko suggested).

I also find that sometimes the forums are used as a space to publicly shame or attack a person, rather than a point. This means that discussions and opinions can turn quite nasty relatively quickly. This can be offputting to those who want to share their opinion or advice, but do not wish to engage in this negativity. Perhaps the person who opens the forum should also be able to delete certain comments, like they can in blogs. This may help minimise some of the repeated negativity.

Lastly, I have noticed that there are many inexperienced people on here (including myself) and perhaps these people feel like they aren’t qualified enough to justify answering. I know this is how I feel sometimes and am forever saying “well I don’t have experience but ..” Saying that..I do tend to comment anyway, but some may not feel as confident in this move. Perhaps they should be encouraged to get involved more.

These are just my opinions but great topic NO, I look forward to reading other people’s responses.

DrWakko • Nov 20, 2018

I don’t like the “I’m new... What I say isn’t valid” reason for not posting. Everyone was at your level or will be at your level. Your steps and you’re progress matter. People should be able to read and get advice from people every step of the way. You’re journey and my journey are on different paths and different levels. But our advice is 100% valuable.

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Nov 20, 2018

I already noticed 2 negativism in the answers ?
Everybody is entitled to an opinion, maybe not advise
We saw a lots of posts in forum which shouldn’t be in forum
Maybe some are not fluent in English or good in grammar and get castigated for it, I have read it few times.
And it’s almost the same who answer too, so maybe others feel they don’t have their place to answer first ?