Allowance

Allowance

The OLD SEA MAN • Aug 22, 2020

Do you think it's a bad idea to pay a live-in slave an Allowance?
I have, in the past, done this to help with past bills and just random needs. I take care of all the essentials -Food- Clothing if its a 24/7 arrangement. I struggle with this question.

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Aug 22, 2020

It depends. Many think that people need to be self sufficient, even in a 24/7 dynamic. I would be more worried what would happen when/if the dynamic ended without the slave having income outside the allowance than the slave having an allowance in the dynamic.

biboy​(sub male) • Aug 22, 2020

I think an allowance is an incredibly healthy thing to provide for a Live-in Slave and not just to settle past debts. Financial abuse is a real thing that many people in abusive situations suffer from and often prevents an abuse victim from being able to escape their abusers.

To be very clear I am NOT trying to say you are abusive or that being a dom with a live-in slave is inherently abusive. but this kind of relationship can become abusive depending on the dynamic. The one thing that separates a BDSM slave dynamic from actual slavery is consent. Without consent it can be a highly abusive dynamic (as well as being illegal), with consent it can form deep bonds and be an incredibly intimate relationship.

As a sub myself one thing that i always consider when talking to doms is what options will I have if this doesn't work out. If the dom that I'm with wants me to serve as a domestic slave and not have a job what happens if the relationship ends? How will I have the resources to make a fresh start? Will I actually be able to leave the relationship if things go south? For me having that escape plan is important before I get into a relationship with a dom, but I know many people don't consider the end of a relationship when its first starting. By giving your live-in slave an allowance one of the things you are doing is giving your slave options, by choosing to stay they are showing you that they care about you and the relationship. Without an allowance or some kind of income they may be staying in the relationship because they have no other choice and this is where things start to take a dysfunctional turn towards abuse, financial or otherwise.

The OLD SEA MAN • Aug 22, 2020

That is why I do it in most cases; I never want a slave to feeling trapped. That's not the point - now I have been asked in situation the person wanted to feel as they had no way out. In that case, I still made an Allowance. I just put it up for her. She didn't know until she decided to leave six years later.

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 22, 2020

I was once asked by a Dom if i would consider this type of arrangement to be live in 24/7 where it would be a very traditional arrangement. But to start 24/7 and be self sufficient. I had so many issues with this (personal concerns) but the biggest was how can I be fully self sufficient if he didn't want me to work, to put his needs first and be available 24/7 so he could turn up and do spot checks. I get the dynamic but seriously i have bills to pay and rent... work isn't an option its a necessity. When i brought this up it was well you need to be self sufficient... i agree... but he didn't want me to work so i could be all his ... like... where's the logic? I can't do both. I also hate taking money
.... this is really hard for me to do. The guy was convinced i was the person for him after a few messages i had to say no. There was no way to even try it out.

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 22, 2020

Just realised ive never had an allowance

The OLD SEA MAN • Aug 22, 2020

Well, that Dom was one of the many who have no understanding of real-life and this lifestyle. There are so many things to consider as a Master, but your first concern should always be your slave's well-being. In most cases, it boils down to money. I do not negotiate with an allowance. I set it, and that's it. I do not expect compensation to trump obedience. Some people make that mistake and find themselves without. It is merely a way to take care of what's mine.

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 22, 2020

To take care of whats yours is a lovely way to see it. I think this is one of the main reasons i stay sub rather than slave. I have issues with accepting things.

House Talion​(dom male) • Aug 23, 2020

Never. If they're unable to care for themselves then they have no use as a live-in slave as they would be unable to properly take care of you

ObsidianOx​(dom male) • Aug 23, 2020

in my personal experience it been mandatory for them to have a part time job that had heath insurance benefits. Even if you are well off hospital bills can drain an account quickly! If they agreed to financial domination , any funds they made would go directly into my account and I would dish it out as an allowance. Also a small amount would go into a saving account if they decided to end our arrangement.

Everyone in the relationship has to be some type of self sufficient.