“I am a brat and a bit of a handful”

“I am a brat and a bit of a handful”

Tthomas • Jan 18, 2021

I can not tell you how many times I have read this or have been told this early on when conversing with a sub.

I have only met two women who I consider to have true submissive personas. All others could be submissive when they wanted to.
There was only one who was not submissive at all. She enjoyed pain and could not receive enough. When someone says they are a brat I always think back to a Dom that wrote on another website. He was fond of saying....

Everyone is a brat until they are restrained. Then it’s up to you to determine how long they remain that way.

I am not saying that the only way to tame a brat is when she is restrained. There are lots of other methods I enjoy and prefer.

I would like to hear others thoughts and experiences. I hope it is a learning experiences for me and others.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jan 18, 2021

This has become a common aspect of subs that are interested in the lifestyle, but dont know what part of it they want and to stop harassment of acting out the claim to be brats while they're really just reacting to how they've been treated.

I know theres a lot of these 'brats' on here, but can you blame this place for giving said individual ideals a safe place where being mean is a punishable crime that can likely get you removed? You could say we have our own personal group of misfit subs- they dont feel wanted anywhere else

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Jan 18, 2021

No one wakes up in the morning and says, "Hey! I heard about Brats and I'm interested! I'm going to investigate and see if I want to try being a Brat!"

There are no workshops, trainings, or how-to books on how to be a better brat. That is because Brats are a result of trauma, usually childhood trauma.

Imagine a child who exhibits the same traits as an adult "Brat". Defiance, intense emotional outbursts, trust issues, fear, questioning, running (away from emotional turbulence), social awkwardness, etc.

Those same traits that children used to survive abuse served us well then but interfere with adult relationships now.

Learn about PTSD treatment and you will understand "Brats" better.

As an aside, the title of "Brat Tamer" is bestowed upon a Dom, not a skill set. The Brat bestows it upon a chosen Dom who has earned their trust. "We givith and we can takith away."

If you desire, I've written about Brats extensively in my blog. There are 10 chapters so far and if you go to the very beginning of my blog, you will find them all posted back-to-back.

spaceprincess​(sub female) • Jan 18, 2021

From my perspective it depends on the person. It's kinda unfair trying to put the label "brat" and think everyone is the same.
Talking about me, I am a brat, I'm very playful and I like playing hard to get but at the end I'm gonna do whatever my dom wants me to do, those are the rules, right?
Maybe being restrained is an option to "tame the brat", but like I said, everything depends on your partner and dynamic and trying to understand her behavior

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Jan 18, 2021

SP,

I would label that as being "Sassy", which is slight different from being a Brat.

Brattism comes in different forms. There is Therapy, Service, Attention Seeking, and Fear.

Your Sassy may be a form of Attention Seeking-lite, I don't know..

Brats are DEEPLY submissive. Far more than most people think. For me, what calms my inner turmoil best is single handed choking.

Restraints help me when I need to release the rage that is inside without being afraid that I could cause injury..to myself or my partner.

TheLittlePrincess​(sub female){SSG} • Jan 18, 2021

Okay so just to make a few points for my response.
1. Brats are subs and can be the most loyal subs
2. Brats act bratty usually in response to something
3. Even if it's not a response to something directly that you can see, there's a connection in their mind
4. Brats, like any two people on this planet, are not the same. They have different needs, different triggers, and have different ways that they need to be handled.
Sometimes I think Dom/mes look at brats and don't fully see the potential. Not saying you but this is just a generalization of what I have noticed. Its a beautiful thing when a sub trusts and fully gives herself to a dominant. There's something almost more so when a dominant is able to quiet the mind of a brat acting out so that the brat may refocus with a clear mind. I don't think it has to just be by restraint. Sometimes it doesn't even require BDSM methods. It all depends on the brat and the dynamic.
***I am in no way an expert on brats and all were generalizations not targeting any specific members.***

spaceprincess​(sub female) • Jan 18, 2021

Totally 1000% attention seeking form lol

Tthomas • Jan 18, 2021

"From my perspective it depends on the person. It's kinda unfair trying to put the label "brat" and think everyone is the same.
Talking about me, I am a brat, I'm very playful and I like playing hard to get but at the end I'm gonna do whatever my dom wants me to do, those are the rules, right?
Maybe being restrained is an option to "tame the brat", but like I said, everything depends on your partner and dynamic and trying to understand her behavior"

You call yourself a brat.
Then you say you like to "play" hard to get.
You say you will do whatever your Dom wants you to do.

Does being a brat really play into the dynamic? Like the woman who is an alpha female by day but very submissive to her Dom. That does not make her an alpha submissive.

I really want your opinion.



If you have 25 people that claim to be a brat I am sure you will find 20 different reasons for them calling themselves a brat.

It is my humble opinion that most will call themselves a brat as kind of a catch all for way they behave. The reason for my post is you have to be in a dynamic for sometime before you find the reason for them using the term.

I will go as far to say that most younger subs use the term more than an older sub. An older sub with more experience will know who she is and what she wants from a Dominant.

Tthomas • Jan 18, 2021

I agree. Communication is the key. But to have understanding doesn't the sub have to understand why she is being bratty?
If she doesn't and you try to understand where she is coming from then she has to get there first....so you can understand.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Jan 18, 2021

Thomas,

Just as with religious, there are people (because men can be Brats too), who use the label Brat to excuse bad behavior, like it's an excuse. NO! Brats are NEVER malicious to someone they respect. There is a HUHE difference between a request for a cup of coffee to be fetched (and it's delivered in a measuring cup with a measured CUP of coffee, and someone flipping you off and telling you to get it your own damn self! (That is, unless the Brat senses that the Dom needs help getting back into Dom Space...but that's Therapy Brat and that's different.).

Some people really ARE just bitches.