Wife wants a scene

Wife wants a scene

zereaper • Aug 3, 2023

My wife I and have been exploring a 24/7 dynamic and she has asked me to prepare a scene where I get her drunk and use her as I wish to her.

I'm not really sure where to begin or what to do.
She's given consent to it but it feels wrong to me.
We have talked about it and she's given me ideas but I'm struggling to find what I'd want to do.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Aug 3, 2023

Up front, i want to acknowledge this is just my opinion and thoughts. We've all so different, i wouldn't presume to make this universal, just offering my thoughts since you ask.

To me, a "scene" or the exercise of any kink, need, desire, needs to be mutual in order to work. i see relationship as connecting mutual need/desire, ideally from opposite sides. Just like a negative and a positive ion attracts and bonds in nature, i think humans are similar in a much more complex way. i'm very big on symbiosis.

i know it's not uncommon in relationships to take more of a quid-pro-quo approach. i think that's fine with it comes to deciding stuff like whether or not Tuesday is "Taco Tuesday." As i see it, our intimate needs are different and better built on mutual need/desire, i believe that is more sustainable, and i also think it is mutually nurturing.

i'm guessing you have told her how you feel? What is her response?

K y i v • Aug 4, 2023

Not to mention novice play in altered states...

Bunnie • Aug 4, 2023

If it makes you uncomfortable, please don’t do it until you’ve reached a point where you’ve both negotiated a scenario that you can both enjoy. Your limits are just as important, regardless of whether you’ll be the one “topping.”
Is there a particular reason she feels she needs to be drunk? Why not just start exploring with “small scenes” that allow you both to be present, and go from there?

House Talion​(dom male) • Aug 4, 2023

From my experience, consent now doea not equal co sent in the moment. By that and the probability that she won't remember much, record the while thing starting with her verbalized consent of exactly what she wants. The recording with show initial consent as well as video entertainment for her when she's sober again in case cmshe doesn't remember

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Aug 4, 2023

Well that seems like a terrible idea for a first scene. Someone could fill a book with all the ideas on how that could go wrong.

Miki​(masochist female) • Aug 4, 2023

The "get her drunk" bit would bother me, even if she says she wants to, even on video.

It might be less of an issue if you've been married a while but still Consent given before the fact becomes absence of active or ongoing consent while in the act of "helping yourself to what you want" because once a party is drunk, they are no longer able to give informed or ongoing consent and (goes more for casual daters and FWB setups but still... ) They lack the present ability to rescind such consent and since they can't rescind it, it sort of defaults tpo "non nonsensual sexual activity" Or BDSM or any combination thereof.

I do not have any legal training, but the topic of, "consent and capability of giving or revoking same" in "altered states"-- pops up frequently in many discussions and, well, my suggestion would be to avoid it. Try these "scenes" with both of clear mind and conscience. (and conscious)

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Of course I understood "drunk" as you wrote it to mean, well, shit faced, slurred speech and all that. "buzzed" or "tipsy"-- People in those positions are better able to say "No More. Stop." -- but still are less inclined to than they would ordinarily be.

Everyone sees things differently, but for me, that would be a bag of snakes best left outside.

balloonkotinsp • Aug 4, 2023

I could see possibly getting her to a point of being a little tipsy, and perhaps performing a scene where it is controlled by you, and you can move along slowly. Witheach ascending moment being given pause to sense her reaction. Possibly without her actually being aware of it. But that'd be a slippery slope perhaps. The whole impaired aspect of this gives me pause. But the fact that you are married, certainly is better than not. Hope you can work something out. And have that kind of fun.

zereaper • Aug 4, 2023

She understands where I'm coming from. I've told her I'm not comfortable with it and we have agreed to not proceed exactly like she wanted.

zereaper • Aug 4, 2023

The thing is she wants me in complete control all the time and I'm working up to it. We've done "small" scenes before, some spur of the moment stuff, and she is free use to me. As far as why she wants to be drunk... she hasn't really explained.