Sub Frenzy or Dom Frenzy

Sub Frenzy or Dom Frenzy

lambsone • Jun 17, 2024

I just saw this topic in Fetlife Forums and am unfamiliar with it. Can anyone explain it in a clear way? I'm kind of confused with the descriptions over there.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jun 17, 2024

I'm not quite sure what it is you are missing, as it seems rather obvious to me.

It seems to be when someone new gets into the lifestyle and over indulgences, particularly in physical activities. They want to do so much and cram too many things in too soon. I have always thought that the turtle wins the race when working with what we like to do. Over time, I've seen s types move too fast and get hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Those outside the collar tend to hurt others because they are moving too fast. However, they can mess themselves up just the same.


"Frenzy", in my not so humble opinion, is a silly ass word for it. It is too soft a word not to represent the danger.

shebakesalot​(sub female) • Jun 17, 2024

Basically kid in a candy store effect. WANT TO DO ALL THE THINGS NOWWWWW. Kind of the opposite of sub/Dom drop. But like Topeka said, it's a dangerous space if not taken seriously.

Discordant • Jun 17, 2024

In my even less humble opinion, the word is not soft at all and is exactly descriptive of what can happen to people that are experiencing BDSM in the beginning. Perhaps you have missed the actual definitions, although they seem rather obvious to me. Here they are for you.

Frenzy definitions:

1. A temporary madness
2. A violent mental or emotional agitation
3. Intense, usually wild and often disorderly compulsive or agitated activity

It is the term used to describe the emotional overload that can happen when someone starts experiencing BDSM activities. It feels so good that they just can’t stop and end up hurting themselves physically or emotionally.

It’s one good reason to begin these things with someone experienced guiding you through it.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jun 17, 2024

That's how you end up being the fat kid stuck in the chocolate river intake tube.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jun 17, 2024

That's great for psych textbooks, but let's face a bit of reality.

Common society thinks frenzies are great. Everyone wants things to get done in a hurry. They put in cleaning frenzies when people are coming over. Marketing wants you to buy everything now and if you don't, then you are missing out! Everyone who watches shark week salvate over a freeding frenzy.

Frenzy is another coopted word that has lost it's real meaning and should't be used in this case.

lambsone • Jun 17, 2024

When I first got into BDSM in 1999, This term never came up. So I had no clue. But I dropped out of BDSM after a year and then just came back last August so I imagine that I'm missing a lot of the progression of BDSM while I was gone.

All of your definitions here and in private have helped me come to an understanding of it. Thank you all.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female)​{Claimed } • Jun 18, 2024

Another note is that this doesn’t always happen in a new dynamic with a new submissive. I’ve been doing this since 2001 and I have had many instances of sub frenzy. I have periods of sub frenzy with Daddy after 2.5 years together. I usually enjoy when he triggers it, and he knows how to put on the brakes too. It can happen to anyone at anytime.

lambsone • Jun 18, 2024

Great point Sweetlydepraved.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jun 18, 2024

Without seeing a excerpt from that Fet post I can but guess. Semantics aside, it describes either one or the other so enamored with "this new thing they found" that safety and good old horse-sense take a back seat, very occasionally to their detriment such as for me when I first discovered I'm a masochist and loved it rough. I didn't get hurt, but I could have.

But possibly more in keeping with whatever was written on the other site, it's probably more like either dominant or submissive discovering BDSM what's involved that they make generalized assumptions and can form unrealistic expectations and once the bloom falls off the rose, they're quite disappointed, and those early dynamics, as such, seldom last. Some return to mainstream or might not seriously date for a while because, like the "frenzy", the disappointment itself is not accurate.

But it is in so doing that people into this type of living arrangement grow and learn, so it's not an altogether bad thing. One of the many parts of "growing up"