a question for Doms

a question for Doms

Heart of Persephone​(sub female)​{owned} • Aug 4, 2025

What was the reason you became a Dom? What was the driving force, to take on such a role?

pioneer man​(sub male) • Aug 4, 2025

Frankly, you will most likely find as many different answers to your question as there are people.

I have been a Femdom sub for years. Throughout all the Erotic events my Dom & I have attended, with all types of people - swingers, BDSM, etc., we found everyone has their own unique dynamic and reason for starting.

As for my Dom, she basically stumbled into the idea and decided to play with it a little. As we learned more, she found things to experiment with and over a period of time, developed it into a full time 24/7 lifestyle.

Kelpi • Aug 4, 2025

To be honest it took years for me to learn what I was feeling when I slapped my wifes ass or took her like she was a slave. It was only after I goy online in 99 that I learned what bdsm even was. Atr that it was all downhill and no looking back.

Doc B​(dom male) • Aug 6, 2025

Well, what was it that made you become a sub??? I am a Dominant! Its not a role for me it's who and what I am. Type A personality, driven and a leader.

When I first discovered BDSM in 1978, it was a drunken accident that I wound up amidst that group. We were a underground group back then. Social outcasts and looked down on. Maybe the forbidden and hidden nature made it more attractive and exciting to me. Seeing what was going on around me, I knew which side of the toys/tools I wanted to be on!!!

Celticchieftain​(dom male) • Aug 7, 2025

Everything in life is about sex except sex, sex is about power.

pioneer man​(sub male) • Aug 7, 2025

Celiicchieftain: I have to respectfully disagree with your statement.

We are in the same age group and I have been a Femdom sub for years. The relationship with my Dom is both sexual & non-sexual - mostly non-sexual.

From our experience and years of attending events and having Zoom meetings with people in different lifestyles, the majority of relationships are not just about sex. Although some people do follow the Porn myth, it's not reality in most cases.

Drinfear​(dom male)​{Owns PFP} • Aug 8, 2025

Personally, I was introduced to the lifestyle by a friend who turned out to be a Domme, unbeknownst to Me.. She had 4 girls collared and thought I would make a nice little 'boytoy' for them all.. That was January, 1994.. She tried her best to submit Me, but ended up submitting to ME instead, thus presenting Me to My second Polyamorous Household.. Carol took Me under her wing and became My mentor, teaching Me the ins and outs of the lifestyle over the following decade..
-I- was raised to be a Warrior.. My Dad wanted Me to be the Army Ranger He never was.. Once I discovered the lifestyle, the ethos were compatible, so I stepped into the role and never looked back..


Dom

House Talion​(dom male) • Aug 11, 2025

Wasn't a question of choice.
Too many had momentous me for advice, to lead. Twas a matter of experience and having a basic understanding of how things are suposed to be as compared to how such is forced.

DrknessNC​(dom male) • Aug 11, 2025

One doesn't become a Dom.

One finds its innate nature and purifies it.

Heart of Persephone​(sub female)​{owned} • Aug 12, 2025

interesting, sex being about power is a definition of a certain act out there.