Would you stay or would you go

Bunnie • Nov 22, 2018

I should’ve said “out of curiosity.” My bad. This isn’t something that has been suggested to me or asked of me by anyone... I’m just curious about how others do and view things, and enjoy gaining insight into the diverse (or sometimes not) ways of thinking within our community.

@ Dark Fox, you captured perfectly my own thoughts around this, thank you

KittySunflower​(sub female) • Nov 22, 2018

I would say no, even if the other request it, you should have trust and be able to have connections and support from all sources.

VioletSy521​(sub female) • Nov 22, 2018

I agree with the above posts in regards to not disconnecting with friends, so why disconnect with online.
I’m still growing and appreciate those I’ve met online who continue with that process.
And as we all know, it’s about honesty and communication with your partner.

WickedLeo​(sadist male)​{F.E.A.R} • Nov 22, 2018

stay!!!

this is our life, this is our community, these are our friends... those connection were present before the union was agreed. if their devotion to each other is strong the dom will not restrict her communication with her support, she will not betray him, or disobey him because she will lose her privledge... and the dom. will cease to communicate with those that could affect his relationship... for the dom. can lose her trust in him...
simple people... if you are insecure you will not allow continued connection to our community, because you fear losing... keep responsibilities and trust... and enjoy each other...

AYASHE​(sub female) • Nov 23, 2018

I'd ditch run never come back lol only joking .
The community is a good place to learn and have support I've done the cut everyone out of my life because I was told to (vanilla life) and lost a lot of good friends this only left me on my own with no support and everyone needs support and friends if I had that I probably wouldn't be where I am now. So as long as it's doesn't come between you then don't give it.

Findingrealme​(sub female) • Nov 23, 2018

Lots of great thoughts on this. Good question. I believe with all things lifestyle related, it's different for each of us. I would think that most secure Dom's have no issue with you still having online resources. They may put stipulations as others have mentioned, but I would question stripping you of the ability to talk to others in the lifestyle. This is just personal view, but submissive need a sounding board and communication with other like minds. This is a tool to be able to discuss things, help other submissives with questions or concerns, read what others think. It allows you to vent safely and see you are not the only one out there who may be having an issue or concerns. By no means do I believe it circumvents the relationship between a Dom and sub, because in all things when there are issues you need to discuss it with the dom first. But you need to place to maybe ask the question how do I bring it up? And this allows you to form relationships with others. I've said this many times, we need to be here for each other. We all have different life and lifestyle experiences. Some of us have been in it much longer than others, and again on a personal level, why would a Dom not allow their submissive access to that knowledge?

Resilient Pearl​(kinky female)​{Protected} • Nov 23, 2018

@Bunnie: I don’t have anything distinct to add here; just saying the same thing a different way.

Unless there were a Dom-driven caveat, why not?

I’m still friends with people I used to fuck (who were friends before I fucked them).

More importantly:

The Cage is about community for me. Without new information, alternate perspectives, etc. my knowledge-base stagnates.

(Also part of my morning ‘coffee, vape, and read about butt plugs and the local weather’ routine.)

- RP

Phanes​(dom male) • Nov 24, 2018

I agree with everyone who has posted up to this point. There are many benefits and reasons to stay on this site once you have entered a relationship. The friendships, the forums and blogs can be very insightful and very often give good advice. Community support when there is a need to have someone's ear to help you through a rough patch, and many other helpful reasons. However, staying on sites such as this and others can be a detriment to the relationship. I speak from experience whereas I have been in online relationships in the past where others try to interfere and cause problems between the two parties. Some of the reasons are; there are some who do not respect the boundaries of a relationship and will test it to see how secure it is. Some will feel as if they can't be happy in finding the one that they are seeking and will try to cause problems in attempt to break that up the happiness of those in a relationship they only wish they could have. Some see it as a sport in trying to break up a relationship by spreading rumors and lies. Some may feel as though someone was stolen out from underneath them who they had interest in. With all that said, if you choose to remain on a site once within a relationship, be sure you understand the hazards of staying. Be sure you both very secure in the rtrust between you within the relationship. Be sure you ignore those who try to insert themselves into your relationship.

Bunnie • Nov 24, 2018

@ Phanes, great response. This is exactly why I asked. You’ve spoken about the reality of being here, and I completely agree. Thank you

Miki • Dec 2, 2018

It's just about "all covered" but I got a couple cents to toss in the kettle...

I have to speak strictly hypothetical because where I am at I don't do committed relationships. But after all that I'd stay. I mean whoever would be so insecure so as to "make" a Sub drop online contacts.. needs to be held off "Pending Further Review".

I imagine there has been "sub stealing" either here or in like environments but on the flip side of the question of a dom's possible insecurity, any sub who can be stolen either :

A: was in the clutches of a cruddy dominant

or

B: was of the easily-stolen sort and not worth a dominant's fretting over any more than fretting over the fickle finger of fate.



After all a partner in any relationship, kinky or vanilla-- who is easily led astray.. will be just as easily led astray again.

Kinda like trying to catch the wind if you ask me. The wind slips through all fingers.