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Advice for a brand new sub

Sami A​(sub female)
4 years ago • Dec 29, 2019
Sami A​(sub female) • Dec 29, 2019
You are more than welcome to write me about anything you want to know, ask , or just vent. icon_smile.gif

I suggest as most of us have that you find out what you want and don't want. Also, no matter what you are into or not into to express that on your profile because there is someone out there looking for what you want. Your profile can be evolving and doesn't have to be completed or complete right now.

Also, a sub to another sub you need to understand the differences between the different Doms. Huge difference between a Master/slave and a Daddy/little Also, if you want sexual or life style. They have limits and wants you have to understand them as a sub. If he says he wants anal and you brush it off because you're not into that and to embarrassed to answer / admit it's a limit. Then he will expect anal from you because you didn't express it was your limit during the conversation part. Anal used as an example, of course. lol Your want and limit list is also evolving so don't rush it but it's important to have a good base list.
RuleMaker​(dom male)
4 years ago • Dec 30, 2019
RuleMaker​(dom male) • Dec 30, 2019
When you get to the point of having a session with a Dom, I think checklists are crucial. It will help ease your mind immensely if you know what's on and off the table. If he doesn't offer one, ask. If he refuses, run.
Miki​(masochist female)
4 years ago • Jan 1, 2020

Re: Advice for a brand new sub

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 1, 2020
Nikki Lee wrote:
Hi, it's wonderful to meet you all and I'm happy to be a part of this community. So, I am completely new to this and am looking for advice as a new sub. I certainly hope to learn as much as I can and look forward to talking with you.


Jeez! If you really wanna give it a go, don't ask in here! This place loaded with fucking dom horn-dogs who'd rather fuck you (in the ass if you let them) -- than give real advice! I know! Been There, Dealt with THAT!
Azzabackam​(switch male){PawPawGirl}
4 years ago • Jan 1, 2020
The advice you've seen so far is pretty much all you need.

>Learning how to discern people's intentions, and their true nature, is very important. A lot of the people looking to take advantage of others actually do very little to hide it, if you know what to look for.

>The lifestyle and this community are just as much about making friends as ut is finding partners. There are a great number of wonderful people, especially here, that you can reach out to and converse with.

>There's *a lot* of minutiae to practicing safely. All of it can be found through literature, which others have already provided links to. Reading up on what others have written about whatever interests you is highly recommended.
Erick​(sub male)
4 years ago • Jan 1, 2020
Erick​(sub male) • Jan 1, 2020
Gosh, you're adorable! Please forgive me for saying so. Because I'm not what you're looking for. But very best wishes. And be careful. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. (That should give you a lot of leeway.)
Low{BLK OWND}
4 years ago • Jan 1, 2020
Low{BLK OWND} • Jan 1, 2020
Hi
My best advice is to go slow
This is a great place to ask questions
Good luck
No Body​(dom male)
4 years ago • Jan 1, 2020
No Body​(dom male) • Jan 1, 2020
Welcome . Just a little advice.....

1) Keep and open mind and a tight grip on your heart. ( Not everyone will say "love" and mean it.)

2) Listen to the subs who have been here longer and know more plus never be afraid to ask something. (The subs here are beautiful people and are willing to help if you talk to them. The dumbest question I have ever heard was the one not asked. To many times people have told me "I wish you had told me that" !!! ???? Why did you not ask me????.)

3) Sex is great but a true Dom/Dommi knows how to make you cream without having sex. ( I know I am doing my job when she begs me to let her cum and she is the only one naked. It takes time to get to know those spots that make her secrets to know what you like and where the nice spots are you get to understand how He/She is eam and how to work them. It is during that time of exploration that you get to know each other. Him/Her gets to know your body and mind and what you like need and where the best places are to drive you to Valhalla. I had a gf many years ago I would just growl at and she would wet her panties.)

4)Always be honest with yourself. (There will be times your gut tells you something is not right and you need to run. RUN! Not everything others are into will be right for you take it slow and find out what is good and toss aside the bad. Hard limits are lines never crossed soft ones are tiptoed over. You will find some waters you want to jump into and others just dip a toe in. Do what is right for you and always be happy in what you do.

One last thing always let someone you trust know where you're going and who your going to meet. Back in 99 we lost to many beautiful people to predators and it took us months to get someone to listen and check in on those we lost. In the end he was caught and rules changed for meetings and other things. Enjoy what you do and don't do anything you don't enjoy. Tal.