Why I ghost

sweet november​(sub female) • Mar 1, 2020

Sometimes just because I'm tired. Or a boundary has been overstepped.
Though I'm working on boundaries, so I suppose that usually isn't a reason.

Sometimes that person isn't online anymore and they don't reach out.
It takes two to have any kind of relationship/friendship.

But to intentionally hurt someone by ghosting...i hope I haven't done that.

But I also hope that if it appears I have that the person would ask me? Because sometimes life has a way of pulling the rug out from under people and it takes all of my energy just to.... Move.
So, grace could be given once that has been established.

Sami A​(sub female) • Mar 1, 2020

I do not ghost at all. Sometimes I might need a break before telling them I am no longer interested but that's it. My theory if you've been ghosted then you know how it feels so you shouldn't put someone else through that.

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Kintsugi} • Mar 2, 2020

I ghosted once on a vanilla guy, he wanted more than I did out of the relationship (if you can call it that). I feel bad about it now having experienced that ghosting myself; I wish I had just told him I didn’t feel the same and didn’t see us going down the road of a relationship, but you live and learn.

I do think there is a difference between a convo just fizzling out because you don’t gel or someone ghosting before you’ve made a connection. If there is no real connection to me then 🤷🏽‍♀️ If he buggers off without a good bye. But if you’ve been talking for WEEKS and then just disappear without a damn good reason (ie physical safety is at risk, etc) then I think that’s kind of shitty. Even if you give your reason and then block the person at least there is a level of closure.

Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 2, 2020

Simply put: Ghosting is starting a relationship and abruptly disappearing on Him/Her without demonstrable cause. No explanation and more importantly, the "ghoster" gets off on fucking with someone's feelings. Such a person is total soap scum.

"Ghosting" (improper application of the term in this case) someone who comes across as totally contrary to what you want in another (in my case M/F) is simply "taking out the trash"

In my experience, that's about 92% of the would-be doms who bombed my inbox and insulted the fuck out of me when I politely declined.

One exception a good guy who realized I'm a bit timid and dumped my ass.. I do not blame him and if he writes again I shall reply.

BDSM DOM​(dom male) • Mar 2, 2020

Personally I never ghost on any one. I find ghosting rude to be bluntly honest. If you are busy or going to be busy for a bit.. Let the other person that your talking to know that you will be away for a bit. Its not that hard to say BRB or "I will be busy for a bit" or something close to those. I find it rather rude, and disrespectful when some one your talking to just ups and leaves without any word. Now if its a emergency or something serious, then I believe words are not needed at that time...However, you should tell them later on when you are free that you could not reply because of the serious situation. You don't have to tell them what it was. But it would be nice to know why you wasn't talking. But for those who intentionally ghost, then that's not good.. UNLESS your being harassed, or some one is being rude to you. Just my two cents worth

Dunimos​(dom male) • Mar 4, 2020

I've never intentionally ghosted and I dont block.
I would block if one becomes an annoyance or bothersome. I try to answer every message, including when I get notified actions that someone loves my profile. I appreciate it and will say as much.
Now, if a person does something I don't like, I say so directly and will explain why.

It's just good practice.

Angel Wings​(sub female) • Mar 4, 2020

My block list is small on here. I have learned just to ignore them and won''t respond or read 'the messages. Silence is a great tool.

You are confused on what ghosting is

CurvyLisaO • Mar 4, 2020

If you never actually had a conversation or connection with someone. You arent ghosting them. You just disappeared and moved on. Most people could care less if you just vanished or wasnt available unless they liked you, was getting to know you, family or friends.

Meg​(dom female){NotLooking} • Mar 4, 2020

I ghost he several reasons.

I ghost if someone "wants to be friends" but really wants to whine about my not wanting to be their dominatrix

I ghost if someone "wants to be friends" but really wants to covertly get me to dominate them. "if you were my mistress, what rules would you make for me," or "I love chastity. How long should I wear my cage if I want a mistress" BYEEEE

I ghost if someone "wants to be friends" but really wants to dominate me.

I ghost if someone has an incredible profile but tlks lyk dis in chat b/c its lyke sooooooo annoying or if they cnt us punctu8ion or use numbers 2 tkl i cant deal with this shit prople lyk dis r not wrth my tim or if dey speeks in da bby talks just likee no tanks yew. Srsly. Die in a fire.

I ghost if someone turns out to be a general asshole. Bigotry, entitlement, social justice warriors.

The number one reason I ghost is that I get busy and forget, and when I look again to chat, the person has moved on, or have left the site.

RhiannonT​(sub trans woman) • Mar 5, 2020

Quite similar to above, generally people that engage under guise of being 'friends' but who's real intentions become clear pretty quickly are going to get ghosted/blocked/ignored. The classic one from my side is the ones that go like this - 'I really want to dress up, so let's meet up, you can do my make up and dress me up, and then do ___________ to me.' That one generally get's an immediate block. The other ones are the messages that simply assume that because I'm a sub, I will be their sub........nope!

Other reasons for me ghosting/blocking ignoring include:
txt spk and lack of grammar - that shows me a lot about your personality. I generally won't even attempt to decipher whatever it is that you've attempted to communicate.

Those that attempt to lecture me on a topic. Surely your message is better suited to your soapbox than my inbox?

I'm a busy person. I work a lot. I travel a lot for work. I have a life. Sometimes I just forget or haven't had the time! If I haven't replied, sending me a messaging trying to guilt me into replying (like 'I guess you don't want to chat then') doesn't sit well with me.

Conversely, if you're a decent, respectful human being I'm generally happy to chat. I promise I'm actually a nice person!