everyone has a joke in them let's hear your fav

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 11, 2020

baby balloon wanted to share mum and dads bed but he couldn't fit in so he let some air out of daddy balloon..
Still no luck so he let some air out of mummy balloon,still couldn't fit in so he let air out of himself....Again no luck...
so he let more air out of himself , and then some more ! He finally squeezed into bed.
In the morning daddy balloon was furious...He took baby balloon to one side and he said..
'Son..Im very disappointed..you let me down, you let your mum down , and most of all you let yourself down'

TNS​(dom male) • May 11, 2020

guy rubs a lamp a genie pops out. says i give you 2 wishes the catch is whatever you get your mother in law gets double.

guy - "ok i wish for a billion dollars"

genie -"poof you have 1 billion your mother in law has 2 billion. what is your last wish"

guy -"i wish you to beat me half to death".

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 12, 2020

I used to have a fear of hurdles, especially the last one, but I got over it

No Body​(dom male) • May 12, 2020

Cowboy is riding the trail one day and sees and Indian standing nude with his pecker aiming at the sun. Cowboy rides over loks at him and ask...

Cowboy "Hey what the hell are you doing???"
Indian "Me tell'em time"
Cowboy "What the hell? You can tell time like that? BS .. Ok what time is it ?"
Indian "HMM 10:17"
Cowboy pulls his watch out and sure enough it is 10:17
Cowboy "DAMN you guys are great at everything"
Indian puts his cloths back on and takes off.
Two miles down the road is another Indian standing nude and pecker to the sun.
Cowboy rides over and says ...
Cowboy " Let me guess your telling time"
Indian "Yep"
Cowboy "OK what time is it"
Indian "12: 02"
Once again the cowboy pulls his watch out and it 's 12:02 on the dot.
Cowboy "damn you Indians are amazing."
Indian smiles put on his cloths and takes off
Now a quarter mile down the road the cowboy sees an Indian and he rides over but this time the indiand is stroking meat like there is not tomorrow. Hard and fast he is going at it.
Cowboy stops and ask "What the hell are you doing"
Indian says " Me wind'em watch"

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • May 12, 2020

Three surgeons are arguing over who makes the best patients

The 1st surgeon says: "It's librarians. Because when you cut 'em open, everything is organized. You just have no problem finding things."

2nd says: "Nope, it's engineers. You cut 'em open, do your thing, and if you have a few spare parts left over. Well, they understand!"

3rd says: "No, gentlemen, far and away it's lawyers. Lawyers make the best patients because once you cut 'em open you quickly realize that they're heartless, gutless and spineless. They really only have two moving parts, their mouths and their anuses... And those are interchangeable."

BigBubbles • May 12, 2020

A priest walks into a crowded bar, says "everyone who wants to go to heaven stand up now". Everyone stands up but a guy in the corner. The priest walks over and asks the man " son dont you want to go to heaven?". The guy says " sure I do father but I was afraid you were taking up a load now" .
Har har

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • May 12, 2020

A man walking along a beach in the LA area finds an antique brass lantern. As he rubs the sand away, a furious, irritated, crotchety genie emerges and says: "I've been in the damn lantern for 10,000 years. I'm sick of it, and I'm pissed off. You only get one wish. Make it a good one."

So the guy says: "Well, I really love Hawaii, but I'm terrified of flying and I get seasick. Build me a bridge from LA to Hawaii!"

The genie replies: "Are you out of your mind? Do you have ANY idea how much time and effort that would take? Forget it. Choose something else."

So the guy says: "Hmm... I've never been able to understand women. Grant me the power to understand women, especially my wife!"

The genie glares at him a moment, then says: "So, that bridge..... 2 lanes or 4?"

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • May 12, 2020

A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Hey, is the bar tender here?"

--------------

René Descartes walks into a bar and orders a whisky.
The bartender asks: "Do you want ice with that?"
René replies: "I think not" and disappeared!

Azzabackam​(switch male){PawPawGirl} • May 12, 2020

A man and his son burn down a house. The boy turns to his father, and asks, "Father, are we fire-starters?"

The father responds, "Yes, we arson"

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • May 12, 2020

Azz? Ouch!