tallslenderguy(other male)
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4 years ago •
Jun 17, 2020
4 years ago •
Jun 17, 2020
It's sad, but fear is a common reason for not posting pictures.
The fear of those pics being abused by someone unscrupulous has some basis in reason. Social rejection for being outed as a kinkster? i came from a conservative religious background/culture where i came out as "gay" and experienced cultural rejection, and lost literally everything as a result of that exposure. But the result is, i lost a lot of fear and i care a lot less now about who knows about me and who doesn't, kinks and all. Pics are not a fear factor for me.
Another fear is of rejection, which is really not all that rational. Showing no pics or inaccurate pics because one wants to come off as 'more attractive,' is irrational if one is looking for more than an online tryst. If you're never gonna meet in person, then what does it matter? The real issue, to my way of thinking, is the deception. Connection becomes an illusion when it has a false basis.
i know this is not for everyone, and that there are risks, but i had a relationship with a Guy for about a year and a half (before having to move). We got together weekly and to this day, i have no idea what He looked like because i was always blind folded. i learned a lot from the relationship. i didn't seem Him from the start, so i had no visual memory of Him to influence my perception of Him. Made me wonder how blind people must experience attraction differently than sighted people.
Visual effects of how we perceive a person is a double edged sword. No doubt,, it can enhance attraction and desire, but it can also impede it. The attraction side can open us to someone who may not be that great of a match on other levels (emotional/psychological) or looks can close us to discovering/considering a person who might be a wonderful fit in other ways. Which is not to dismiss the visual, it's a factor, but i think it is worth it to question and explore the why's and weight we put on it.
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