Mama Bear JJ(dom female){koa}
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4 years ago •
Oct 26, 2020
[quote="nuli"]
shortylotus wrote: I say fuck em if they say you are to "big" who decided that??? As for the memes etc. I can understand why it's not allowed. And honestly it's NOT for any other reason that there are truly sick and disgusting people in this world who abuse children. Those memes draw their attention plus the attention of cops fbi whoever. Our lifestyle is considered abuse without the added disgusting scum brought into it. And before you get upset I KNOW that's not what the littles/middles are doing. I KNOW that's not what the Daddy's and Mommy's of said kink are doing. But in today's age it's a fight to get that understood. A fight I am sure most people don't wanna fight to be able to live their lives as they wish.
I think you captured my problem with it pretty well even if that wasn't your intent ... "Our lifestyle is considered abuse" ... but a small portion of what makes it considered that is separated out as wrong and not allowed in a lifestyle community, while everything else that makes it considered abuse is still allowed. One group has to give up a part of who they are and be/feel judged so that the rest can be who they are and not risk getting judged more. In other words, we have to be judged as wrong/abusive so the rest aren't or appear less so. Does that really sound fair or right? If sharing that part of who we are, again in a non-sexualized manner, is considered wrong and shouldn't be allowed for the reasons you stated then it is implied that the roles themselves, the lifestyle/kink/fetish of DDlg is wrong as well for those same reasons and shouldn't be allowed either. When sharing a part of who we are is judged, we are. That's obviously not what happens, because we are allowed here instead of being completely segregated to DDlg only sites ... but unlike all of the other roles here, there are limits on what we can do and share, again non-sexualized, a requirement that we deny a part of who we are in the lifestyle to be here. It doesn't matter the intent or the reason, it's the actual application and the feeling/divide it creates. And while I obviously choose to be here anyway because the lifestyle for me is far more than just my role and my middle space, the feeling is still there and something I'm reminded of every time I want to share something but can't and have to express it a different way. Not trying to start an argument with anyone or start a revolution on the site, just trying to make a point regarding the topic of the post ... being/feeling judged for our role, kink, fetish. Just like all three of those things ... people can have different opinions. Expressing mine, that's all. |
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Online now
MelMell(dom female)
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4 years ago •
Oct 26, 2020
So far I haven’t gotten any judgemental people in here which is unfortunate. I enjoy putting people in their place ☺️ I also try very hard not to judge others on anything. Be it their skin color, religious views, political views, kinks I find weird, etc. I feel bad for any of you that have gotten any judgement from others and if any of you need someone to trash talk with I’m sooo there. If you need some nasty comeback I’m also sooo there. Or even needing just an ear to hear you, I love talking to new people about different subjects and I’m specially interested in learning about new subjects.
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nuli(sub female){Unkolared}
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4 years ago •
Oct 26, 2020
Taramafor wrote: Quote: Yet I am told he could kill me if he so desires!
Not sure if you brought this up due to concern for safety or simply pointing out that he can if he wants too knowing in all likelihood he won't. "If he desires" are the key words. If I desired to kill you I might too. If I want to burn the world and take you out I can. I have no such desire, but IF I desired it I COULD. But this is also like saying "If I desired to stick a needle in my eye I could". I COULD but what would be the point? (get it? Point. Needle. Cough). It could easily be a "playful threat". Who destroys what is there's that they find pleasure end entertainment in? And if you fail to provide that then you're more likely to be tossed aside then anything. Which could be worse then threats at your life (I've legit turned around threats into intimacy myself. Presence makes things possible). People that judge are afraid. Their fear consumes them. Their own weakness and inability holding them back. Thier own closed minds putting them in danger, as well as others. Their problem unless they're around me consistently. That it's an issue. one to be discussed. But with logic to pry open their closed mind. Maybe we are "evil". But I'll take that over "good" any day. I know the "twisted fucked up monster" I am. And that others are with me. Fuck the ignorant and close minded and remind anyone claiming the moral high ground that watching people get shot to death is considered fun and entertainment. Playing the fucked up card with me will only lead to how fucked up normal is. And how it can be harmful. Context with X situation. Context with Y. Good is bad and bad is good and both can be either. Or even neither. All because of context. Better to make it about action and reaction. How both positive and negative results can happen and vary. Very much dependent on X persons response to a situation. No people have honestly said that to me. You know if he wants to kill you. It's your fault ~eyeroll~ what they fail to understand is we all know a. That's not going to happen. B. No Master is going to ruin his property, not a real Master anyway. |
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Taramafor(sub male)
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4 years ago •
Oct 27, 2020
Quote: but a small portion of what makes it considered that is separated out as wrong and not allowed in a lifestyle community
Know what I find ironic with this statement? That people try to decide for you. How ironic people harp on about consent but then violate it. It's more then that though. It's about peoples narrow minded assumptions without considering context. They lie to themselves. Because they judge what they do not understand. Something they might enjoy themselves if given the chance. But people that are afraid tend not to want to think. This is the danger of sticking only to what you know. To be afraid of what you THINK you know yet know nothing about. Then they come across someone that judges them. Maybe for a different reason. But it's still the same thing being done. I would not say it's wise to treat everything as "equal" because the truth is we're all different. But when it comes to SOME things we simply must avoid being hypocritical. Least we are what we fear. Sometimes we have to be what we hate though. Because how else will those that judge learn? By not being judged and getting away with their inaccurate assumptions and lies? Now you cold look down on that. But more then that how can you get THEM too? That is the trick. To get them to realise how harmful it is for them. |
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DrWakko
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4 years ago •
Oct 28, 2020
You can call yourself what ever you want. How ever if questions why you are x you should be able to explain yourself. If you call yourself a sub but say you own all and control everything in your life, one might question that the sub title is right.
Everyone has a definition for each role and if that definition doesn’t meet the title then people will question. If you want to call it judging that’s great, but everyone has a definition for all the roles we label ourselves. If the community picked your label then there would be no issues or judging. |
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Taramafor(sub male)
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4 years ago •
Oct 28, 2020
Quote: Everyone has a definition for each role and if that definition doesn’t meet the title then people will question.
Questions are fine. But let's be honest, often judgemental people don't ask. They often tell. And worse, dodge questions. Which means they can't provide facts to their claims. Technically it's more the fact people can't say why. A judgemental person can still be proven wrong if they can give reasons and listen. Which can make them none judgemental. But a judgemental person that can't even give a reason and dodges questions? They're worse then judgemental. They're beyond reasoning with at all. |
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Lil Foxy Baby(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Oct 28, 2020
Sometimes even I struggle with trying not to judge kinks. There are some I really can't stomach, so I just avoid people who are into extreme kinks. But I think it's human nature to judge people. Especially things we don't understand.
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Taramafor(sub male)
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4 years ago •
Oct 30, 2020
Lil Foxy Baby wrote: Sometimes even I struggle with trying not to judge kinks. There are some I really can't stomach, so I just avoid people who are into extreme kinks. But I think it's human nature to judge people. Especially things we don't understand.
Have you considered the possibility that you can change your own nature? It's not "human" nature. It's YOUR nature. The unknown can be scary but it's not an excuse to avoid it. I find the "It's just human" statement concerning because people that allow themselves to be angry can't control (or make no attempt too) control that. Saying "We're all human." Allowing themselves to be that judgemental prat looking down on others for whatever reason. I'm human too. But I CHOOSE not to ALLOW negativity to happen if I can prevent it. Even if it can be hard at times. You avoid others for being into extreme kinks, but others will avoid you for being evasive. Because those people aren't judging what they don't understand. They understand the harm and danger of easily turned backs. So if you know someone and find out they're into extreme kinks, instead of being evasive, try to be understanding. Because if you turn your back that easily what stops others doing the same with you? |
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| TrulyLIMITLESS(dom male) |
3 years ago •
May 30, 2021
Im intrigued with your commitment to explore. Contact me
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SageFlame(sub female)
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3 years ago •
May 30, 2021
We are all still learning and hopefully having some fun while making good memories.
In life or lifestyle no one is all knowing or knows you better than you know yourself. Certainly no one can tell you your reality is wrong. That is . . . Except those who know it all. 🐂💩 Its nice to have those around who can set you straight. 🐂💩 Do you smell what I'm stepping in? |
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