Bonded and alone

Sasa​(dom female) • May 4, 2022

That is normal, human. Please allow it, fighting the feelings doesn't get you anywhere. It will fade and if it comes back send him good wishes.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • May 4, 2022

It's an unpleasant and difficult thing to accept, but please be aware you're on the path to becoming your own worst enemy if you allow this man to keep living in your head rent free. He's continuing to do you a disservice as long as you cling to the ideal of what might have been and secretly look for him as you seem to be doing. Don't give him the satisfaction of continuing to sabotage you in his absence - and that is what you're doing as long as you continue to berate yourself and re-hash the past he's already walked away from. Don't do even more harm to yourself than what he managed to do while he was still present. One of my favorite quotes is: Live well. It is the greatest revenge (don't take the word 'revenge' literally though).

Miss Magdalena​(sub female){FreeSpirit} • May 4, 2022

Depending on who you are and how you process hurt and loss will honestly be how you personally move on from this and how long it will take. There's a lot of good advice above and one of the biggest takeaways is knowing that so many of us have experienced this. I had the same thing happen to me the first time too and it was incredibly emotional and painful mentally and emotionally for so many reasons, some to do with how I felt about him, and some to do with how I felt about myself.

For me it took connecting with people I knew really cared about me and my wellbeing and sharing what I went through to begin the process of moving on. I knew these people would not be shaming and would be accepting and understanding, which was really important and helped mitigate the sense of abandonment I felt initially. With staying connected with those I cared about and some wonderful subs within this community, I eventually allowed myself to take that experience and turn it into something positive.

TIL: Take your time, surround yourself with people and things you love and who love you. In time, it will hurt less and less, and while you'll never forget, you'll come out the other end of it a little stronger and wiser.

DewofHermon​(sub female) • May 4, 2022

A strong soul tie was formed between you two which hasn't been completely severed yet. I will send you a message.

SirTOuTOO{~ 2u2 ~} • May 8, 2022

SOME,... in vanilla relationships get 'bound' in the sometimes shallow 'ties' of - Love, Sex & Time invested,... even when these are (k)NOT equal in expression.
- However,... those who encounter the TRUE intimacy of a D/s relationship,... must be clear, if the 'interaction' is merely to 'satisfy or release' a passion/kink/desire, OR,... have clear 'markers' that could help define the LIMITS between a ' fleeting play', a short-term 'repeat performance',... and a that of a mutually agreed long-term (deeper) more 'permanent' - TAKEN / OWNED status.
- Your 'pain' is the YEARN (craving & need experienced) felt in the moments void of that stimulus.
- This too will pass.
( And perhaps, this 'yearning' or absence - can be utilised by any 'considerate' Dom - to PEAK your future interest and rewards - ABSENCE makes the 'heart' grow fonder )
.

LatexHer​(dom male) • May 8, 2022

I had my first Male Dom/female sub relationship with a girl in high school. I had a pair of handcuffs and she insisted that she wanted to try them on! First in a playful manner, which rapidly became more intense. We played and enjoyed sex as often as possible, at her home, and in my 64 Cadillac (A hand me down from my father), but the car's seats reclined all the way!
When a young woman and man explore sex together, often it is mutual inexperience that inhibits true pleasures! I often recall thinking about her, her looks, body, smells, hair, eyes, and drive for more! I have throughout my life thought back to the first time she asked for clothespins in her nipples, and chuckle today at her scream while I removed them after a half hour! I often remain in deep thought of where she might be, how many children she may have given life too, and if like me, has suffered the hardship of divorce? Does she still enjoy being tied, teased, pleasured, and tormented, with the same lust we shared at 18?

Since that young woman eons ago, I have evolved/enjoyed much deeper desires to sexually provide the torments many women desire in a safe, sane and pleasurable format. Today I am pleased to profess that I have learned a library full of information, some bad and most good.

IronWorld​(sadist male) • May 10, 2022

Women tend to be attracted to strength. And toxic strength can be exceptionally alluring to women because it permeates everything. Considering what modern science says about how sex affects brain chemistry, the remnants of that toxic strength is probably going to be with you for the rest of your ife.