SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
|
1 year ago •
Dec 18, 2022
@TSI,
I believe it is a fallacy that "brats brat to get punished". Sometimes, Brats brat to help the Dom because they recognize that they are unfocused and unDom-like, thus providing a focal point for their Dom to reconnect WITH THEMSELVES. I personally call this "service brat". Sometimes, Brats brat be cause THEY are in a mental spiral and it's a defense mechanism. That is when they need the Dom to reenforce the boundaries WHILE allowing space for the Brat to be released. I call this "fear brat". (Note: this is when a Brat is MOST vulnerable to emotional hurt and trauma). Sometimes, a brat DOES just want to engage with the Dom and play. THIS is when funishment is best! |
|
|
Online now
| jildo |
1 year ago •
Dec 20, 2022
Re: Long distance punishment ideas tsi wrote: ThisIsTheWay wrote: Recently I’ve been talking to a super bratty sub, I’ve tried some punishments but nothing seems to work. Since I am not in person I can’t enforce any of them….
Any tips or tricks or ideas? Thanks for your help It really does depend on your sub ! What works on some might not work on others . For example I’m a masochist so pain cannot be a real punishment for me . But usually brats brat so they can get punished and get that attention. The ultimate punishment for a brat is no punishment at all . But that’s kinda boring ( maybe that’s the brat in me talking ) I like to classify punishment into 2 , real punishment vs funishment . Real punishment is for hard rules being broken , actual disrespect …. Funishments are for those playful brat moments , eg she says “ make me “ or you ask her to do something and she replies with 💫 no 💫 with a smile . Funishment ideas - spankings - walking around with a nipple clamp - edging during a scene - make her watch you play with yourself or others ( if poly ) and she’s not allowed to touch herself in any way - sitting or kneeling or rice - having a couple of bites of food you know she doesn’t like Punishment ideas - No punishment of any kind ( I find this one the most effective) - Video calls where you sit her down and lecture her . - Corner time after a lecture - Lines ( Each word , different color ) - Social media restrictions. Gives her time to think about what she did Ps I Personally find that the tone used while giving a punishment is very important. Harsh voices ( and not in the hot dom way , more in a I forgot to do my homework and my teacher is scolding me way ) are always helpful in getting the point across |
|
|
babygirlnovah(sub female)
|
1 year ago •
Dec 22, 2022
my Daddy and I are long distance too. He had me write 100 lines once. Safe to say I learnt from that pretty quick lol.
|
|
|
DominusRex(dom male)
|
1 year ago •
Jan 17, 2023
Tally librarylady wrote: What kinds of punishments have you tried?
When I get bratty (not that I EVER do, of course) and receive a punishment, I know my Dom expects me to follow through, and I do. Because that's part of the dynamic. Long distance is hard, and it takes an overwhelming amount of communication and clear expectations. We've recently started a system where I get a tally for every time I brat -- he puts the tally in either the "edge" column or the "orgasm" column. And when he's ready and we both have time, then I will have to do that many edges/orgasms and then the tallies will reset. Not knowing which column he's putting the tally into makes me think about if it's worth bratting on any given occasion. Great idea! I love the idea of tallies and would like to expand on it based on my own personal experience and preference. This may or may not work, depending on a few factors. How much does she enjoy impact play and how much does she fear it? Often I find it is a combination of both. Where that line is drawn can affect the effectiveness.  Also, how often you see each other can have an impact, so to speak.
In long distance relationships where we saw each other on average once a month of so, I would assign points for any perceived transgression and/or brattiness. The total points accrued would then be applied (mostly to her bottom) the next time we saw each other. One strike per point and typically by implements of my choosing. Once we had a couple of these sessions under my belt (yes, pun intended) she would become much more receptive to being "corrected" this way from a distance. For the most part this skirted the line between being fun and playful, and corrective and disciplinarian. Points would be assigned in increments of 1, 5, 10, or whatever is more appropriate ti your situation. What works for one dynamic may not work for another but it is an enjoyable and effective framework that we both found rewarding and I have used it with different partners. Rules should be established (and in some cases negotiated) ahead of time to suit the needs of your dynamic. |
|
|
|
RiverWolf(masochist female)
|
1 year ago •
Jun 14, 2023
On the topic of different here. I'm a machinist also. I know 2 things that work for me and 2 things that don't. Works is not being allowed to orgasm more to the point a ruined orgasm is very affective. 2. Being forced to do it myself the punishment I mean still no orgasm at all. What doesn't work is ignoring me or removing my collar. All both do is just make me feel unwanted which isn't the point of a punishment. So speak to her find out what things will have too negative of an effect on her and what things she likes and doesn't like. Example I hate ruined orgasms but it doesn't have too negative of an impact on me thus a great punishment for me. Lines does nothing at all really but it does make me think about my words or actions. The self punishment which yes I must show proof. That makes me really want to be good because my Master isn't doing it and He doesn't even say what to do. He just tells me to show Him how sorry I am for what I've done and that's it.
|
|
|
Rylie Nimbus(sub trans woman)
|
1 year ago •
Jun 15, 2023
Not so much a suggestion for punishment as a means to enforce them
Make all punishments things that can be proven, with pictures, video, live cam and so forth maybe even web accessible cameras or baby monitors. The temptation to not and say we did is always a possibility. Now, I don't think it's ever okay to withhold the social/emotional aspects of a relationship... But it can be okay to withhold the fun play aspects. The specific more fun things they enjoy that can be withheld until the proof I mentioned is received. Especially things that are more of an effort on your part. |
|
|
I'mME
|
1 year ago •
Jun 25, 2023
There is a school of thought that LDR should not engage in punishments or orgasm control play.
Dynamics (using tally system) where they meet in person every so often sounds like a winner . The silent treatment is abusive. I know some people around here have no problem with it and i would say that you, yourself have never experienced it. I also am someone that can agree to disagree. My last point revolves around proof that you did/followed through with your word. Proof is a problem and its tied up with trust (1 of the cornerstones of D/s) and the idea of even giving punishments in online relationships. |
|
|
|
RiverWolf(masochist female)
|
1 year ago •
Jun 25, 2023
I'm me.... I really liked your point there. Trust once broken is fairly impossible to get back again.... I've basically just said fuck it... No real point in any of it really.... But your point was really good. I'm really going to think on that...
|
|
|
|
autisticbarbie
|
1 year ago •
Jun 27, 2023
Agree 100 percent. I've been called a brat on this site so many times by random guys just for being honest with them.
SirsBabyDoll wrote: @TSI,
I believe it is a fallacy that "brats brat to get punished". Sometimes, Brats brat to help the Dom because they recognize that they are unfocused and unDom-like, thus providing a focal point for their Dom to reconnect WITH THEMSELVES. I personally call this "service brat". Sometimes, Brats brat be cause THEY are in a mental spiral and it's a defense mechanism. That is when they need the Dom to reenforce the boundaries WHILE allowing space for the Brat to be released. I call this "fear brat". (Note: this is when a Brat is MOST vulnerable to emotional hurt and trauma). Sometimes, a brat DOES just want to engage with the Dom and play. THIS is when funishment is best! |
|
|