fluffypoppet(sub female){Protected}
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6 months ago •
Apr 21, 2024
It isn't for me.
I prefer clarity of communication, all the cards on the table up front honesty... If it doesn't come with negotiated accountability and sexy spankings... I'm not into it. |
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Online now
Squeedoodle(sub trans woman){Taken}
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6 months ago •
Apr 21, 2024
I don't date vanilla folks. It just feels like a waste of time, and I don't particularly wanna shock someone with the conversation down the line.
But I actually like to come at dating itself with a fairly vanilla approach. Y'know, go get some food, maybe take a walk, chat about our vanilla interests, etc. It's just that I like to start from a place of understanding that if things don't work out, it won't be because "oh gross, you're into THAT?" I like there to be few to no surprises in that department. I like going into a date knowing that if we end up getting naughty together, the other person isn't going to be at best "giving it a try, for my sake." I like spending my time with people who know this is what they're about. |
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Steellover(sub male)
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6 months ago •
Apr 22, 2024
I approach BDSM dating in the same way as I would approach vanilla dating: With a casual meet-up over coffee or drinks (if she's a drinker; some people I've dated are, shall we say, friends of Bill W. in which case it's strictly coffee only.) Then, hopefully, a second date that is still casual fun. A walk in the hills. Maybe dinner, or a trip to a cool spot. If we click, and at that point I am hoping we do, then I hope for something more.
But unless the person I have gone out with has made it clear- either on the website I originally found her profile on, or in our conversations, that she is into, shall we say, being "Dominant," then I won't broach the subject. |
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lambsone
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6 months ago •
Apr 22, 2024
I'm looking at vanilla and kink potential men. My goal is mostly deep companionship so I'm not in dire need of kink. It would be nice, but this late in life, I have to be flexible.
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I'mME
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6 months ago •
Apr 22, 2024
tallslenderguy wrote: I'mME wrote: Sub Baby Love wrote: Lol, it’s so shallow and toxic. Freaks me out.
No it’s not easy. I’m trying to figure my exact role too in a Doms life that will fill me that same happiness. Sub Baby Love *it’s so shallow and toxic.* You don't find people in this area to be shallow and toxic? lol, Touche'. my desire for relationship approaches desperate sometimes. Give me a hint of chemistry, and i dive in with my shoes on. i get the question is implying 'vanilla only,' but to me vanilla is a flavor i want along with all the others in my recipe book. i am one for layering flavors though, i don't fragment the vanilla parts of me from the other flavors. i find it very difficult to find Guys Who are self aware, and/or if they are, know how to self disclose and articulate Who and how They are and what They need and want... along with the desire to have that from me as well. To me, that is relationship and i haven't had much success finding it in either world. TallSlenderGuy Thank you for answering my question, TSG. As we both know, and from reading blogs, posts, there are many here who engage in vanilla every day w their partner. I do know there are also dynamics where it's only the scene..To each their own. In order to get to know someone, it can't be all about scenes, kink, kink, kink. People have to spend time together, in order to know get to know each other, and that means different environments, outside of kink. Why would I submit to a person who I don't know? I'm referring to D/s. And so that leaves vanilla situations. Which actually, one can gain valuable knowledge about a person. Their patience level, how they are when no one appears to be paying attention, *how do they treat the wait staff*, interact w friends, family. If there are inconsistencies, they will reveal themselves, through vanilla means before you let someone tie yo ass up. 😉 I digressed or did I? To insinuate that toxic and shallow people exist only in the vanilla crowd is wrong... |
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Sub Baby Love(sub female)
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6 months ago •
Apr 22, 2024
I agree! I’ve met a lot of shallow Doms on here. Well users and fake guys just in general. I love your perspective and I respect you. Totally when I wrote that I was thinking “well baby love remember when this happened when trying to date this Sir?” Haha
I love the clarity you brought to this Tallslenderguy. Great perspective and sounds like you are intuitive. Much love. Everyone’s perspective is freakin adorable. I love what everyone thinks on this. |
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Bunnie
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6 months ago •
Apr 23, 2024
tallslenderguy wrote: I'mME wrote: Sub Baby Love wrote: Lol, it’s so shallow and toxic. Freaks me out.
No it’s not easy. I’m trying to figure my exact role too in a Doms life that will fill me that same happiness. Sub Baby Love *it’s so shallow and toxic.* You don't find people in this area to be shallow and toxic? lol, Touche'. my desire for relationship approaches desperate sometimes. Give me a hint of chemistry, and i dive in with my shoes on. i get the question is implying 'vanilla only,' but to me vanilla is a flavor i want along with all the others in my recipe book. i am one for layering flavors though, i don't fragment the vanilla parts of me from the other flavors. i find it very difficult to find Guys Who are self aware, and/or if they are, know how to self disclose and articulate Who and how They are and what They need and want... along with the desire to have that from me as well. To me, that is relationship and i haven't had much success finding it in either world. Same to all of this. |
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| msMoonCake(neither female) |
6 months ago •
May 11, 2024
Vanilla dating is the damn best thing ever! In my experience, any meetings arranged through sites like this, there is always the expectation of some sort of thing happening. It may have been set out before meeting that nothing will happen. For me it always does. Especially when alcohol gets involved.
So I wake in the morning feeling disappointed. In myself and also of the whole experience, usually because whatever happened was 💩 Go on a vanilla date though.... I'm always on my best behaviour ☺️ if anything happens then it's most likely due to the electricity running through me 😁 |
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Fyglia Wicked(dom female)
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6 months ago •
May 12, 2024
People overlook the common denominator is people in either dynamic, (Vanilla is also a dynamic ) who one Is in one dynamic is who is going to be in the other..
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| kdramalover(switch female) |
6 months ago •
May 12, 2024
I get what you mean. People like to be discreet and not really talk about their kinks or it's just they've never explored that life and you want someone experienced. I find my switch tendencies actively change depending on the person. Like, with older men, I want to be submissive and with guys younger than me, I enjoy being both. But my most recent relationship was very vanilla.
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