Is fear a kink?

Zoneinlingo​(neither female) • Feb 7, 2025

In my opinion I don't think it's a kink. Let me tell you why. Fear is a natural defence mechanism in our brains, it's there to protect us. I feel it's a negative feeling. It's telling us to run or hide. I read alot of smutty romances and there are alot chase, capture scenes, but it's fantasy. In reality, not so fun. To me being afraid is not fun. I understand why some feel it's a kink because of the rush and it might work in roleplaying. But even in roleplaying are you really afraid? If you are I would worry.

Kelpi • Feb 7, 2025

I have seen where women have been frightened in haunted houses and came out needing to be fucked to hell.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Feb 7, 2025

[quote="Kelpi"]I have seen where women have been frightened in haunted houses and came out needing to be fucked to hell.[/quote

Adrenaline junkies.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Feb 8, 2025

There is a distinction between fear and dread. Fear is an instinctive response that can be initiated simply and without serious repercussions, and can actually be achieved with effective role play. Dread is a conscious realization that there is actually a reason to fear something, and requires a level of reinforcement that is not possible without actual harm. While both can still be kinks, dread is the one that most likely comes from a negative place.

While it is not for everyone (which kink is??), most of my partners get an enjoyable thrill out of the roles being played out. Horror movie-style pursuit scenes in foreboding environs, intensely aggressive interactions as a form of foreplay, props and scenes that thematically portray a specific kind of danger. All of this, when done correctly, will elicit deep, fulfilling (oft unrealized) emotional connections.

Miki​(masochist female) • Feb 8, 2025

It all depends on what one means by "fear".

Being genuinely scared for life and limb is not what I would (personally) call a good time. Also watching a horror movie is not the same, in that one fears what's going to jump out of nowhere on the screen, but everyone knows that even if they shit in their pants when the monster or dead guy appears abruptly, one is physically safe and sound and free to go home when the flick is over, wipe their ass, and launder their underwear. (Except in the case of the Hershey Squirts. At that point it's better to throw the soiled shorts in the trash or in the shrubbery or porch next door if your neighbor is a jackass, because that stain will never come out completely.)

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But I suppose a level of "fear", especially in primal pursuit play can be fun in a kinky way in that the longer one evades the top, the more vigorous the pounding and all the other cool stuff that goes with kink play ends up being. The rough sex and other "stuff" that follows being pursued, found, and subdued for me was very pleasurable. That's definitely nothing to be afraid of.

There can be a more genuine fear if one is playing with a stranger--- one doesn't know what he or she is bargaining for-- but in this day and age especially, engaging in this kind of play with a stranger is not a good idea. It's more advisable to know and trust one's partner for safety's sake but in so doing, one eliminates the need to be afraid of anything terrible happening.



That's my take on this, anyway. I'm certain that there are other viewpoints and experiences to the contrary.

dryfte​(sub female) • Feb 9, 2025

As individuals, some might use fear as a personal motivator that causes one to behave in certain ways, possibly taking risks one might not otherwise consider taking. Some often use fear and the desire to overcome it to move or propel forward into action as in the mantra “feel the fear and do it anyways”.

Heero​(dom male) • Feb 9, 2025

Doubtless, it's both a kink and addiction.

Addiction for the general population is clear as you indicated. But also for the kink community, fear play is an actual established kink and there are many articles/forums/blogs that write about fear play in a kink context.

I think it's also clear that fear is used to control in all facets of society.

MasterDarcy​(dom male) • Apr 3, 2025

Good question.

In the realm of a relationship that's got a CNC dynamic, fear is absolutely a kink.

It's an adrenaline rush and your mind splitting in two halves: the first half knowing that you aren't in danger, the second is pondering the possibility that you could be in danger.

I read a good quote recently "Submission is putting yourself in a position where a Dominant could destroy your life, but knowing that he never would." Fine. It's my quote, but I did read it after I wrote it.

It's like when we were little and we watched horror movies. When the movie was finished, the journey up to your bedroom was terrifying and you were uber sensitive to the merest noise of the house settling.

As adults, sure, I'd say that the same thing applies. Just replace the journeying to your room in the dusk, with being collared to a Dominant who has your life in the palm of his/her hands.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Apr 6, 2025

Now I will say that I have had s types read my profile, look at my pics and tell me I am scary.

Which I think it pretty cool, but not in the idea of inducing fear during a scene.

Mainly I think it is a metric to see who has the guts to put up with me and my antics.

Kelpi • Apr 8, 2025

Yrs I have known several women who when scared were aroused exstremly. Just as tickling is a major turn on for some fear is the same. We all have our kinks it is just up to you to find what gets you off or truely what starts you kinks to kick in.