Bunnie
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4 years ago •
Feb 9, 2020
I haven’t read the other responses yet, so apologies if I’m repeating something someone else has said.
I’m extremely funny about lies... and not in a good way. That for me is a dealbreaker in the beginning (before there has been conversation around it... yes... we have even discussed when/if lies may be ok in the dynamic). In the stage of building trust, I *need* to know that everything I am told is the truth. I will pick apart everything... and if there is any inconsistency, it will be questioned. It’s extreme. I really don’t do well with lies lol. It’s difficult for me to trust, yet it is my goal to give over everything (TPE)... so I need to know that the person I’m giving this to is “safe” in all aspects of the word. If they lie to me in the early stages, this tells me one of the most important things I need to know... *They’re not comfortable talking about uncomfortable things* That is why it’s a dealbreaker for me. I have found that when you get past the surface of this lifestyle, a lot of it is uncomfortable... so I *need* someone who is capable of discussing *everything*... now I’m not saying that I want a girlfriend who I can sit there and gossip with... I’m saying that I need someone who can tell me anything, or who I know I can go to tell anything to... regardless of how difficult the topic may be. Someone who is willing to lead by example in how we are to communicate within the dynamic. Although this was what I looked for, I too needed to learn (and am still learning) to be that person and communicate this way too. It’s forever evolving. I have also learned that “truths” can also evolve as we learn and grow. So what may at the beginning of my journey have seemed absolute, may not be so anymore etc. However, these things are always discussed openly and honestly. Always. |
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Online now
Notely
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4 years ago •
Feb 9, 2020
@FeralM Its all good I feel everyone gave the best option of advice of each of their own but its up to them to decide to leave we can only give advice its their freewill. But best thing is for them to do is to move on because its not good for anyone health to wait for someone that is not showing anything in return.
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| ellesub |
4 years ago •
Feb 17, 2020
Thank you All for your invaluable feedback. I did speak to my Dom and he apologized and explained his actions somewhat and asked for another chance. He promised he would take better care of me and never lie to me again. However, he did not keep his word and was neglectful of me and I just did not feel secure. I ended it and am free to find a Dominant that is true to the title. Thank you again!
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xwillowx{Not lookin}
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4 years ago •
Feb 17, 2020
Oof, getting absolute confirmation that he lied to you changes my original post. I wholeheartedly believe you made the correct decision in moving on. As has so often been stated, this dynamic is build on trust. Once that is broken, it is very hard to get back. And in this dynamic, I almost think it shouldn't be tried to be "gotten back". I'm happy that you found closure with your situation! Good luck to you!
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Max Heathen(other male)
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4 years ago •
Feb 17, 2020
Edit edit edit... I type to slow lol. Glad ya made a decision ^_^
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Bunnie
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4 years ago •
Feb 17, 2020
Thank you for the update. I’m glad you honoured yourself in this situation. That’s actually a very genuinely beneficial characteristic in this lifestyle (imo). Good luck with the new chapter in your journey
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Lossofalme
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4 years ago •
Feb 18, 2020
Thank you for the update! This can't have been easy for you...I hope your next relationship is more secure!
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MissBonnie(dom female){oz}
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4 years ago •
Feb 18, 2020
Hope you heal fast and the next one is THE ONE. Thanks for keeping us in the loop
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MasterBear(other butch)
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4 years ago •
Feb 19, 2020
Great question.
It depends. For you- personally- what does a lie mean? What does this lie mean? Does this lie affect your ability to trust? No one is honest 100% of the time. But- I have my limits. I know several people who constantly lie. That I cant handle. Ultimately no matter what is said here this boils down to does this lie inhibit your ability to trust? Where ever the answer lies is your next step. |
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PlyableMs(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Feb 20, 2020
I preface my comments with the acknowledgement that I am new to this lifestyle and I am still coming into who I am as a sub female. With that said, in my humble opinion, lying speaks to a person’s character. There can be lies of commission (overt spoken untruths) and lies of omission (withhold vital information that a reasonable person would expect to be shared). Although there may be reasons for the lie(s), in truth those are just explanations or excuses. It does not change the fact that someone you trust is not practicing honesty or demonstrating integrity. Your decision on how to handle it has to be based on whether you can live with and accept and forgive what has happened and may happen again.
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