The insta-dom approach?

CinderellaOnTheRun​(sub female){protected} • Feb 8, 2021

This might be an unpopular opinion but ill just say it...

Websites like "The Cage". Are not dating sites. They are places where we share our thoughts/experiences, meet people in the community, etc.. I feel like the purpose of such sites is losing its value because so many people view it solely as an online dating place.

I am not saying that it is wrong or impossible to meet a potential partner here, just stating that it's not its main purpose.

Which leads me to the point of insta-doms. These people who are only here for fun. They are looking for a quick play partner, some sexy talk, and possibly sharing some erotic pictures.

I personally ignore or if the situation calls for it block these people. Because I am here to expand on my knowledge , to share and to meet like minded people. So I would say their poor communication tactics rarely work.

~C

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Feb 9, 2021

In 22 years I have not known one authentic person who found this appealing. A few newer s types may respond somewhat at first but there is no sustainability. Tricks are tricks and those who descend with caps and commands dissolve quickly.

Susie Q{Daddy Ant} • Feb 9, 2021

i have seen and experienced this. It’s laughable. The vetting process takes a long time. Good things come to those W/who wait. Of course i’m not a young P/person. Lots of young or new submissives who don’t know what’s right may fall for this type of interaction. i personally like to start the way any relationship starts....slow. ‘Hi, how are Y/you?’ ‘What are your interests on a basic level?’ i don’t ever start out with kinks. It’s silly. Y/you need to like a P/person first before anything else.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Feb 9, 2021

CinderellaOnTheRun​(sub female)

"This might be an unpopular opinion but ill just say it... Websites like "The Cage". Are not dating sites. They are places where we share our thoughts/experiences, meet people in the community, etc... I feel like the purpose of such sites is losing its value because so many people view it solely as an online dating place."

I agree.

Fetlife as well went to great lengths and still does, to express that it isn't a dating site. But it is fair to say that people meet where their interests lie. If the type mentioned in the OP think anywhere they are is a dating opportunity, then it's also fair to say they didn't read any guides or discussions. They want whatever fun they can have right now. And I don't think most are looking to date so much as they want some fun distraction for the moment. As evidenced by the people who took them seriously and got hurt for it.

The dating sites vanilla or kink aren't much better. I think we suffer from too much of a good thing these days. People show up with no plan or idea of what they're doing and are hit in the face with way too many options.

master disaster​(dom male) • Feb 10, 2021

I actually take mild umbrage at that whole "this is not a dating site" mindset. More so on FetLife, but I guess here too a little. Because it kinda stinks of pretension.

People should be free to attempt to connect or ignore as they see fit.

But I was just mildly curious after hearing about that weird approach from a couple of people.

Re: The insta-dom approach?

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Feb 10, 2021

Not me.

D/s for me is all about deep and intimate connection between two people. To me, those who want or expect instant dominance or submission ("insta" can go both ways), put the proverbial cart before the horse. It seems to me, they seek submission vs a person who will submit.

Which is not to deny there are people who want that dynamic, but for me it is not relationship.

brattybarista​(sub female) • Feb 15, 2021

I am immediately turned off by that. It doesn’t even sit well with me if someone doesn’t get to know me as a person. I can’t trust you if we don’t know each other in any sort of capacity.

KittyisWatching​(sub female){Protected} • Feb 16, 2021

That's actually pretty par for the course on what they say. That and variations of it, unfortunately.

CSI • Feb 23, 2021

I received one of these a few nights ago. It didn't work. I feel like it is basically just cut and paste to all of the new/newly active people. However, as someone mentioned above, it has to work sometimes, maybe with the same frequency as dick pics do? I don't imagine it would lead to anything actually fulfilling and great for all parties, but there are those who will try anything, especially when they do not understand the history and traditions of the lifestyle (or they do and just don't care).