aliljaded(sub female)
|
3 years ago •
Apr 2, 2021
MrFulmen wrote: I love this explanation from a delightfully foul-mouthed classicist.
https://bettermyths.com/chivalry-isnt-dead-you-just-dont-know-what-the-fuck-it-is/ I love that article and I agree with it. Thanks for sharing it. |
|
|
Online now
SubtleHush(sub female)
|
3 years ago •
Apr 2, 2021
L a r s(dom male) "In the west, where chivalry originated"
...................................................................................................... Chivalry started in Europe a long time ago. A simple search produced this: "Chivalry was developed in the north of France around the mid-12th century but adopted its structure in a European context. New social status, new military techniques, and new literary topics adhered to a new character known as the knight and his ethos called chivalry." It was also a part of courting and seduction. (Watch a little of The Bridgertons) And to do it well meant you had class and breeding. But please lets not spiral that concept lol Chivalry of the past was more a view of women than an act of kindness. Women were seen as fail and delicate. Virginal and clueless of the world so they had to be taken care of. That attitude about women or rather females came to the New World with the settlers. And sexism can be seen well into the 50' and '60s There is a famous test that was done on toddlers. Mother and child were separated by a plexiglass wall. Little girls cried and put up their hands to be lifted. Little boys tried to knock the wall down. It was decided that little girls couldn't handle it and were fragile. A later repeat of this experiment realized that little girls exerted much less effort and saved a lot of time with their method. (Once lifted they stopped crying immediately) And it was determined that developmentally girls were more cognizant boys more psychical. So chivalry has indeed gone through a lot of changes and hopefully matured in its reasons and purposes. In our realm where the strength of both sexes is valued what I see as chivalry is more about the appreciation of the opposite sex and valuing that sex. Holding doors or hands is not about abilities and more about how well two people fit together and like each other. And how well they use their strengths to complement the connection. Males typically have more upper body strength and are taller. So you guys can hold a door for me anytime. But here's the thing. If you're going to receive and appreciate chivalrous behaviors, then thank that person. Appreciate them and tell them so. |
|
|
DaddiesPumpkin(switch female){Not Lookin}
|
3 years ago •
Apr 2, 2021
I would like to think it isn't dead... Yet.
I believe there are still some who operate with chivalry still. Regardless of gender. Awesome topic. ✨ |
|
|
|
aliljaded(sub female)
|
3 years ago •
Apr 2, 2021
SubtleHush wrote: L a r s(dom male) "In the west, where chivalry originated"
...................................................................................................... Chivalry started in Europe a long time ago. A simple search produced this: "Chivalry was developed in the north of France around the mid-12th century but adopted its structure in a European context. New social status, new military techniques, and new literary topics adhered to a new character known as the knight and his ethos called chivalry." It was also a part of courting and seduction. (Watch a little of The Bridgertons) And to do it well meant you had class and breeding. But please lets not spiral that concept lol Chivalry of the past was more a view of women than an act of kindness. Women were seen as fail and delicate. Virginal and clueless of the world so they had to be taken care of. That attitude about women or rather females came to the New World with the settlers. And sexism can be seen well into the 50' and '60s There is a famous test that was done on toddlers. Mother and child were separated by a plexiglass wall. Little girls cried and put up their hands to be lifted. Little boys tried to knock the wall down. It was decided that little girls couldn't handle it and were fragile. A later repeat of this experiment realized that little girls exerted much less effort and saved a lot of time with their method. (Once lifted they stopped crying immediately) And it was determined that developmentally girls were more cognizant boys more psychical. So chivalry has indeed gone through a lot of changes and hopefully matured in its reasons and purposes. In our realm where the strength of both sexes is valued what I see as chivalry is more about the appreciation of the opposite sex and valuing that sex. Holding doors or hands is not about abilities and more about how well two people fit together and like each other. And how well they use their strengths to complement the connection. Males typically have more upper body strength and are taller. So you guys can hold a door for me anytime. But here's the thing. If you're going to receive and appreciate chivalrous behaviors, then thank that person. Appreciate them and tell them so. "But here's the thing. If you're going to receive and appreciate chivalrous behaviors, then thank that person. Appreciate them and tell them so" I couldn't agree more with this statement. Being polite goes a very long way with me. Looking someone in the eye, saying "please" & "thank you". Thanks for sharing. 
|
|
|
|
SubtleHush(sub female)
|
3 years ago •
Apr 2, 2021
MasterRyan
A women should serve her master "I think a women should open the door for her master. I saw a slave one day and she was in complete subservience to her master. She opened the door for him and walked a few steps behind him." ................ Yep seen it many many times. At dungeons. At parties. In fact as performance art goes it's pretty cool. But in the real world of real adults practicality will always come first. And the real power in these dynamics is not what the audience sees, it's what the two (or more) people see in each other. To the outside world, a lot of it is boring. As for you and your profile? You seem very inexperienced. And that is your biz. But confusing misogyny with mastery is at the least wishful or desperate thinking. Seen a lot of that out there too and you know what? I never saw a long term happy ending for any of them. Why isn't your age on your profile? |
|
|
TheWhorelock(dom male)
|
3 years ago •
Apr 2, 2021
Chivalry is a decent expectation once a dynamic has been established as a desired outcome. I think negotiating as such can be a nice and appropriate way of inspiring that.
|
|
|
RedKat{Not now }
|
3 years ago •
Apr 2, 2021
It’s as dead as a dick with ED!!!!!! My opinion...lol
|
|
|
MstressWhipplash(dom female)
|
3 years ago •
Apr 2, 2021
I believe a reminder of adult manners in general should be raised up. How to treat your neighbour, taking your rubbish home with you is at the core of why less chilvery is shown because some were not taught it growing up.
It is a pity when the person fives in front of you but they get an earful from me, apologise and the world carries on. For the random man who is curteous to me then he knows my thanks. Mistress Whipplash Ma'am |
|
|
|
DorianGrayUK(switch male)
|
3 years ago •
Apr 4, 2021
Chivalry and character aliljaded wrote: SubtleHush wrote: L a r s(dom male) "In the west, where chivalry originated"
...................................................................................................... Chivalry started in Europe a long time ago. A simple search produced this: "Chivalry was developed in the north of France around the mid-12th century but adopted its structure in a European context. New social status, new military techniques, and new literary topics adhered to a new character known as the knight and his ethos called chivalry." It was also a part of courting and seduction. (Watch a little of The Bridgertons) And to do it well meant you had class and breeding. But please lets not spiral that concept lol Chivalry of the past was more a view of women than an act of kindness. Women were seen as fail and delicate. Virginal and clueless of the world so they had to be taken care of. That attitude about women or rather females came to the New World with the settlers. And sexism can be seen well into the 50' and '60s There is a famous test that was done on toddlers. Mother and child were separated by a plexiglass wall. Little girls cried and put up their hands to be lifted. Little boys tried to knock the wall down. It was decided that little girls couldn't handle it and were fragile. A later repeat of this experiment realized that little girls exerted much less effort and saved a lot of time with their method. (Once lifted they stopped crying immediately) And it was determined that developmentally girls were more cognizant boys more psychical. So chivalry has indeed gone through a lot of changes and hopefully matured in its reasons and purposes. In our realm where the strength of both sexes is valued what I see as chivalry is more about the appreciation of the opposite sex and valuing that sex. Holding doors or hands is not about abilities and more about how well two people fit together and like each other. And how well they use their strengths to complement the connection. Males typically have more upper body strength and are taller. So you guys can hold a door for me anytime. But here's the thing. If you're going to receive and appreciate chivalrous behaviors, then thank that person. Appreciate them and tell them so. "But here's the thing. If you're going to receive and appreciate chivalrous behaviors, then thank that person. Appreciate them and tell them so" I couldn't agree more with this statement. Being polite goes a very long way with me. Looking someone in the eye, saying "please" & "thank you". Thanks for sharing. I think that a please and a thankyou for any acts of chivalry should be expected, that then moves over into entitlement, but if given it will be appreciated. I think that chivalry, together with manners etc. it is a reflection of a persons character, a set of values. It is also how you would act if you didn't think that anyone was looking. |
|
|
Taramafor(sub male)
|
3 years ago •
Apr 4, 2021
Quote: Then if they have been profoundly unkind or disrespectful and say they didn't mean it, it was just a heat of the moment thing? Don't believe it. If it isn't in your head it can't come out of your mouth. Respectful and chivalrous men don't have that junk in their heads, to begin with.
I have to counter argue this. Though am in agreement about the rest of the post. What we have to keep in mind here is that emotions can and will get the better of people. If you're going to lecture people as if they have to be perfect (eg not have junk at all) in the first place then I'm pointing out I'm sure you've had your moments yourself. You're not a mind reader. How do you know what's going on in peoples heads? It can be "all good" or "All bad" or "both at once". And people do think both at once at times. Doesn't mean they can't be respectful and focus on nice things. That said, don't ignore anything bad either. Genially speaking. Basically, you can't just magically not think about the junk if it's there (concerns. Which you will have given people yourself most likely). But that doesn't mean holding grudges and letting it get in the way of having a good time here and now. If people have "junk" then there's a reason for it. A source for the concerns. Which could be from you. Or not. It's highly unlikely that people with concerns which require long talks are going to just magically "Not think about the junk". But you can still have a nice dinner and do fun things before having a talk. Being seen as if you have to be perfect is the reverse of chivalry. It's expecting too much. A truly chivalrous person understands flaws and doesn't expect perfection. Which is why you have those stories about knights helping peasants at times. When people say they didn't mean it this could be an excuse. Or it could mean "I was emotional and lashed out". It depends on the context. Which I do not believe you considered when you typed what you did earlier. Due to the blank carpet statement of how it has to be black and white. Or just black, if you will. I will say I have more trust for someone that can admit what they did. I also say no one's perfect and that we all do things without meaning too. Therefor when someone says "I didn't mean too" what's the context behind that statement? This is why I always ask why and find the reasons. Even if people say they meant to do something. They might have hurt someone without meaning too (which is more dangerous. That's a BIGGER concern). Or they might have meant to do what they do. In short, focus on the reasons behind the actions regardless of wherever it was intended or not. And you'll find out if it's what someone really wanted to do or if they acted on impulse/ignorance. Both can be as dangerous as the other. That's where the danger lies. |
|
|