Subs: what are some bad habits of FemDoms?

Sasa​(dom female) • Aug 9, 2023

I wonder what you could learn about the pitfalls of the relationships of others. Except for a little gossip many love so much, or the joy to renew some age-old prejudices male doms celebrate and hurt feelings after breakups. It is pretty personal, isn't it? A partner that is next to everything else also a submissive in a relationship isn't perfect, but in my case, I love them anyway. Would I tell "what is annoying" about them? Hell, no. How could I, they are all different and I wouldn't do it anyway. This here is not about women, or dommes in general. With luck, it is about single humans and their relationships. Your answers tell a lot more about you than what you try to describe. From that point the question was interesting.

Everchanging • Aug 11, 2023

I agree with the previous posts about dominant females pushing for more and more because of the tacit understanding that they're the "law". I've been in a few serious FLR's spanning the last 15 years and the poor habits I found were the complacent states of mind.

It can take a submissive time to realize something has become exhausting and simply unfair. An example of this would be where in the beginning, it was established that the submissive enjoyed cooking for the dominant. Fast-forward X amount of months and the submissive comes home exhausted and says "I don't feel like cooking tonight. I'm exhausted." Any partner in their right mind should drop the dynamics at that point and find an alternative for meal time. What I have found is when it becomes so common that it's now expectation. Now, it's viewed as not doing your duty towards your dominant by the dominant mind and that, in return makes the submissive feel like total shit. Which is unhealthy.

My roundabout point is that "understandings" often lead to "expectations" and that is quite frankly, poor habits. Bear in mind, I've never been one for contracts and I have no interest in professionals. These are within relationships. Likely should have led with that. Cheers.

subbbn​(sub male) • Aug 12, 2023

I’m finding that the overwhelming majority of dominant women I meet are pay to play and they want their tribute after 5 or 10 minutes of chatting with them and knowing hardly anything about them. When I refuse to cave into their demand I’m called a “time waster” which implies that my time has no value. On the bright side I have found a few who I had relationships with that were great while it lasted.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Aug 12, 2023

What Sasa wrote.

and

i believe "bad habits" (or good) are not intrinsic to any particular group, but are individual. Granted, there may be a lot of individuals in a particular group inclined towards a particular habit, but to condemn or elevate an entire group based on the habits of even a majority is inaccurate at best, divisive and stereotyping at worst?

Sasa​(dom female) • Aug 13, 2023

I see an ocean of red flags and hope some may find their match in a different pond. I say that for those s-types who wrote here, I don't defend stereotypical behavior of whomever, and yes, some people aren't the brightest candle on the cake.
Wouldn't it better to see a pro and marry a good girl? If we repeat the same stuff we have chosen the wrong person, it is a kink or we aren't maybe what we want to be. Plus... There is a lack of communication. I know I wish it was easier, but we are all in this life and it simply isn't.

Sasa​(dom female) • Aug 14, 2023

I believe what you say is happening a lot in relationships. In the end, the s-type is asking itself if they still live in a dynamic or simply dreaming about one and holding everything together. I hope you are going to find people who carefully listen and I hope you talk with your partners early enough.

HoleyMoley • Aug 14, 2023

I agree with Sir is for Searching on "Pay me to be a mommy". From my personal recent experience, when a woman presents herself as a Dom, I simply assume she is looking for money. I have yet to be proven wrong. This might just be a numbers thing having to do with the supply and demand imbalance. There are way more women and men ooking to be dominated than the other way around - and there are way more men who are actively looking (IMO). Hence the market is ripe...
So if I ever do find a real selfish woman who genuinely likes to use me for her purposes only, I will definitely be doing my best to keep her.

Lady Kat​(dom female) • Aug 15, 2023

After reading through the whole shebang here, I’ve got a few thoughts.
While I’m obviously not condoning painting all Femdoms with the same brush, I’ve notice on this sight and others a lot of heinously poor communication. I’ve been particularly lucky on that front, thankfully but I’m very aware this isn’t the case for everyone.
I’ve never been a pro, asked for gifts, or any of that to be fully clear. But the assumption always seems to fall to that. I realize this is because of the “numbers game” as others above have called it.
Communication is the only way a Dynamic in any iteration will work, be it a short term play partner, LTR or what have you. Of course I can only speak to my own experiences here. And I was “out of the game” for a long time. But in finding a partner, especially for longer term dynamics, clear communication is key. I’m sorry if it’s not anything really new added, just my two cents

autisticbarbie • Aug 20, 2023

Because women and men are different. Dealing with sub men seems like a shitty job that deserves payment to me, lol.

(sorry non-binary folks I love and respect you and I know it's a stereotype and not true for all, but look at evolutionary biology and use common sense)

Steellover​(sub male) • Aug 21, 2023

Maybe I'll make it an easier, less shitty job by not being so submissive, then.

(Believe me, I often think my own life would be easier if I was not so submissive.)