Sweet Escape(sub female)
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3 weeks ago •
May 20, 2024
I dont think she was referring to Miki at all. Maybe you misread. Or maybe I did.
Theres a lot of people with their panties in a twist up in here. 👀🍿 I'mME wrote: Miki wrote: I'mME wrote: autisticbarbie wrote: Miki wrote: I prefer what some might perceive to be low-effort responses.
My profile is deliberately thin so as to make sure none think I'm anything other than Not Looking for anything beyond casual messages and to post on whichever of these threads I feel I can contribute to. I deeply appreciate like brevity in any messages that cross my digital desk in here. I like messages that are "current with the times" as in what's going on "today" or "this week--- month even as opposed to unsolicited biographies. But that's Just Me. --To those who prefer to be succinct, you got a fan here. Pick me then. Still pick me now. Austisticbarbie, While Miki can certainly take care of herself, I don't know wby you think it's okay to label somone else witb that bullshit. I already said something to yiu about it. And now I'm saying it again. Do YOU know what that word means? What appointed you to label anybody.. Notice the lack of a question mark, because its rhetorical. ... Well I don't need to take care of myself this time around as I didn't see "autisticbarbie" slap me (or anyone) with any labels unless such a post was edited or deleted... No matter: But as for her original post, I can see her point, a little substance in an introductoy message can better foster further conversation wheras I cannot speak for myself because I almost never "reach out" to anyone-- that is initiate contact for friendship and/or , obviously as one not looking, anyone anywhere online. But that's just how I roll. Everyone is different. Conversely, as also posted, I am just fine with "Hi there" etc. And on the rare instance I actually reach out, and if it is a male, I'll open with something brief and no longer "original" like "Hey, dude, how's it hangin'?" I try to be a stickler for punctuation and other grammatical horseshit on what I post or write, but more often than I like, I skip some little marks or misspell a word, usually a typo, but that is because the only way to communicate with me, in person or online -- is "the written word". I could read lips, but who the fuck wants to have a conversation over coffee looking at someone's mouth? Most of the time that's something only a dentist would love. And mea culpa, more than a few times over the years I have run off the rails in here so if or whenever someone puts a label on me I generally let it pass. No skin off my ass. ------------------------------------------------ @ six-foot-four... Double "ouch"! But hey, a lot of the times good old fashioned bare-ass honesty and shoot-from-the-hip wisdom is best in the long run. Miki, I know I'm probably going to regret this. I was referring to her calling you a ''pick me''. |
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Online now
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Sweet Escape(sub female)
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3 weeks ago •
May 20, 2024
You get what you give. If youre not getting enough or sufficient responses then you could try putting in more effort and see what happens. If you're happy then stay with the "good morning".
But same goes for the females too. If you expect high effort, are you putting in the effort yourself? Garv wrote: Low effort messages? The effort has been made by responding to you posting in “Find Friends” or “Seeking” post. I'll open with a “Hi, I'd enjoy chatting with you, Hows your day going.”. Why do you think I need to give you a resume or bio of my life?
I've been here at $tarBucks for about an hour and a half and have had two conversations ( short, as they were on there way to work ) that started with no more than a “Good Morning”. Why should it be different here? |
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intenseoldman(dom male)
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3 weeks ago •
May 21, 2024
Interesting to ask what's the difference between this and a coffee shop? A lot, but it would be nice to get a cup of coffee, here. Wouldn't it?
What should be in a message IMHO is something that indicates you read my profile... that would clear the effort bar, and whatever else you say, is probably fine. I'll respond. When I message someone I say hi, mention what it is from her profile that piqued my interest, and in respect of our time, not too much more than I hope to hear from her. If she responds, I respond in kind, and our conversation builds based on our mutual interest. If you don't respond to me, I'm fine. I have my answer. Its not necessary exchanging "thank yous" and "wish you the bests". Unless it's an encouraging word for something you're going through, I'll never bother you again, and won't expect anything in return. I just can't help giving support to people struggling sometimes. So then... how 'bout that cup of coffee? 
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GiyuuSimp(switch female)
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3 weeks ago •
May 23, 2024
It’s like they’re not even trying to initiate a real conversation. Like casting a line with no bait.
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I'mME
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3 weeks ago •
May 23, 2024
Yesp, I'm all out of Cheetos.
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Miki
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3 weeks ago •
May 24, 2024
@Snowminx...
I see... Hmm, that one's still over my head as I haven't a clue what a "pick me" is... Certainly doesn't fit anyway as I definitely am "Don't Pick Me.. I'm Not Looking" But I probably lost the context. I almost always skim posts that are longer than a few lines or not broken up into paragraphs. "Walls of Text" make me more cross-eyed than I already am, and worse, they give me gas. Nothing for you to regret from where I'm sitting. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @intenseoldman... Coffee, huh? Cream? Sugar; One lump or two?.. Think "Pete the Puma" |
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intenseoldman(dom male)
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3 weeks ago •
May 24, 2024
Yeah...I'll take my coffee without the lumps, thank you. Pete was a masochist.
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tallslenderguy(other male)
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3 weeks ago •
May 24, 2024
Haha, a topic near and dear to my heart. Low effort, one line profiles or responses, are the bane of my online existence. It's a constant emotional wrestling match with me.
i appreciate the replies providing perspective that this is not just a "dude" thing. As a "dude" who writes voluminous profiles, initiates thoughtful messages, and writes epic replies, even i have come to wonder if it's a "dude" thing, and that i'm just an unusual dude? But i'm a gay guy on gay sites, so my perspective is narrowed... so learning that practice is not limited to guys helps aline my perception. i think, in part, we are in the middle of communication evolution. The advent of tech that allows for instant written communication (email) was a first move in that direction. i think of people who used pony express for courting a person on the east coast when they had pioneered to the west. Imagine pouring your heart out in a missive, then having to wait months for a response? Emails can take that same missive and deliver it instantly, dramatically changing the dynamic and expectations of the writer and recipient. Then we got "texting." Remember all the humorous examples of miscommunication that populated social media when texting first arrived on the scene? i don't see many of those examples anymore as texting has become a more 'normal' part of our life. Both email and texting have been around long enough now that entire generations have grown up using them both as common, primary means of communication. Some of those with their eyes and ears glues to their phones have grown up having that as a primary means of communication. Take the 13 year old with a cell phone. They're likely going to be spending as much time, if not more, texting their peers than spending face time with their parents. i think online interaction has changed the way we communicate and connect, both in obvious ways and subtle ways we likely are not even aware of? There are lots of people who have always lacked social and communication skills, who did not venture into the social arena for those very reasons. Now, a whole new world of anonymous safety awaits a segment of society that didn't have prior access. i think many who qualify as "low effort," lack the knowledge and skill to be otherwise when it comes to written communication. Even at its best, i don't think written communication is the best, most effective means of connecting. We use tone and visual cues to communicate, and even the best skilled writers can only paint those in with words. All that said (and that only scratches the surface), i do get emotionally beat up by the lack of written effort i encounter online. my coginitive brain comes up with stuff like all the proceeding paragraphs, but my emotional brain still feels slighted, hurt and rejected despite what my cognition tells it. |
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IowaDom(dom male)
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3 weeks ago •
May 25, 2024
After spending a few years bouncing around The Cage, and after finally coming to the awareness that I truly am terrible at online dating, I gave up even sending out messages of interest at all. I am an ENFJ personality type, my intuition and instincts have always served me beyond expectations, and this silly typed out world is ok for me if I am expressing a thought, or expounding upon ideas, but as for direct interactions - YUCK!
You see, I NEED to be able to see your eyes, read what is not being said through them, feel the way your hand feels in mine as we walk along, be mesmerized by your scent as we slow dance alone in the candlelight, feel your warm breath upon my chest as you lay your head on my shoulder on the couch, hear the fears and insecurities melt away from your heart with each deep sigh as you lay your head in my lap. I get none of this from the online world, and yet these are the things I must have. Perhaps I am in the wrong, perhaps it will cost me my long sought after True BDSM Dynamic, but it will still, in the end, mean I remain true to myself, and if I cannot do that, I could hardly be true to another. |
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intenseoldman(dom male)
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3 weeks ago •
May 25, 2024
@ Iowa dom.. I agree. There is no substitute for chemistry. Pheromones can't be exchanged in data packets through connected devices. Online relationships are a dry hump.
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