What it's like for Dommes

MJoanne​(dom female) • Nov 3, 2022

What triggers me is , when some Dom men have the current need to submit just because they saw something on your page or profile
Having to justify myself as a Domme... I stopped listening to all these opinions and stuck to what I know best. I mean in this lifestyle, we are always learning...

Simply wants to 'experiment ' 'i want to know what it feels like" kinda vibe...

The couples that approach you... " You should do this to my boyfriend..he likes it" then later it turns out to be a huge issue I didn't need

Sending dick pics without even asking if I needed to see them or not then says... "What will you do with this!!?" What?

I have had subs come at me when they are in their chastity cage that they put on themselves, then make it my responsibility to release the, when I say no, they throw tantrums and what's worse I had someone throw money at me... It felt so degrading you know....

Has anyone experienced the phrase" what would you do to me if I were there with you?" I mean, really?

It is indeed hard... Finding a Sub you can relate to, play with, loose both yourselves in play and in the moment is rather difficult. It's that small number that ruins it for others who are looking for Dommes.

Steellover​(sub male) • Nov 4, 2022

As a sub, I hear this a lot, and it is partly for this reason that I no longer contact potential dommes online at all, lest I be lumped in with this kind of thing. I know that when I was a noobie, many years ago, and was overwhelmed with these powerful feelings, maybe there was a time or two early on that I did probably come off as, well, a bit desperate and/or needy (though I am proud to say I never sent a dick pic!) and for that I do have some regret.

I'mME • Nov 12, 2022

@Steellover

Hi,

To quit contacting someone you feel you may be compatible with, will net you zero.

Any Dom worth their salt, provided you wrote a well intentioned message and were not engaging in all the things that have been mentioned on this forum would most likely consider having a conversation with you.

event horizon{NotLooking} • Nov 18, 2022

Yup! Yup to all of that lol. I gave up on this site a while ago due to all the negative experiences I've had (hence my currently blank profile) and have since found some good play partners irl.. but not before wanting to pull my hair out because of the way most straight cis men communicate, here and on dating apps. Someone else here said they send these lewd messages/photos because they selfishly assume the Domme wants the same thing they do, simply by virtue of being a Domme. It's immature and self-centered, and they have no idea. I'm sure these assholes have sent the same messages to every Domme they could find, and don't understand why the Dommes get angry or don't respond. The anonymity provided by spaces like this gets abused by people who may not normally say these disgusting things to women irl, and emboldens them to be as gross as they want.. because hey, this is a kink site, right?

*sigh*

Idiots.

event horizon{NotLooking} • Nov 18, 2022

I would advise you to not let your early mistakes, or the mistakes of other subs get in the way of you reaching out to Dommes who seem interesting/appealing to you. You've read this thread, you know what we don't like. Just don't be gross and you're good lol. We do actually want to hear from subs, we just don't want to be harassed and grossed out by them.

AsPetrichorr​(switch female){not lookin} • Nov 19, 2022

back in a day I was getting upset by things alike that and sometimes stressed but I had to learn how to be more relaxed and give zero emotion to that,just let it go and it made quite a difference in my life. You know I just ignore all messages which means I don't get upset, or even waste my energy on it as it clearly says under my Nic that '' I AM NOT LOOKING'', however I have received few funny ones so I keep it for amusement of myself.
I read unless its a funny one just to lift my moods up. By saying this I mean I don't waste my energy on them especially on getting frustrated about it.

DominaeMC​(dom female) • Mar 11, 2023

I must say I can relate to almost all of these replies. It is obvious when the role “Domme” is seen, many jump on the band wagon of assumptions.

I have been asked to peg more times than I can count, right from the beginning.

Although I don’t take offense personally, it does irritate me that my role is seen as a type of candy dish where you can just pick & choose.

apophislover​(sub male) • Jun 19, 2023

As sub who recently became fully comfortable with my submissive inclinations, this thread is invaluable! I think I’m ahead of the curve by not sending dick pics or opening with my most explicit sexual fantasies? Of course, this issue with dudes coming on like crazed wild hogs in online messages isn’t restricted to subs, but maybe it’s more jarring cause submissive guys are nominally submissive to a woman’s desire and it’s pretty obvious she doesn’t desire to see a dick pic lol

event horizon{NotLooking} • Jun 19, 2023

You are correct lol. Carry on doing what you're doing! Some lucky Domme out there will really appreciate you. Especially since she is likely already swimming in a sea of all the aforementioned nonsense in this thread.

MstressWhipplash​(dom female) • Jun 23, 2023

I had to thicken my filter process and use the block button more than a few times a day to get rid of the fuck-boys, do-me fetishists and sweet-shop fetish chasers who solely want a free ProDomme which I will block them for. Simple.

My list of behaviours I block for is long. I even wrote a poem about being allergic to twat-wankers.

Yes the below list occurs way too much.

Not reading my profile
Not putting manners or my needs first.
Being rude, pushy twat wankers.
Stalking me and being removed from a certain site with the Police having to ban them from my area.

My action filter
Not talk kink as the first subject, and not talk kink for SIX months.
No playtime for at least a year with a new Submissive or Slave.
Any rudeness gets them blocked.

Actions & words not tallying up. So he says, "I will do anything for you" but he does zip and gets blocked.
I am a priority not an option so if he is talking to more than one person about being their Submissive, including ME, he won't be mine = it's rude behaviour.

I feel the polite gentlemen have gone into hiding so I stay home these days. Too many fuckboys at FemDom munches.