How to be a better submissive

How to be a better submissive

no one special​(sub female) • Nov 23, 2018

What advice would you give for a sub starting out? For someone who desperately wants to be submissive through and through but because of who they are as a person is having a difficult time letting that submissive side out and instead is argumentative/bratty? I don't want to be told "they aren't ready", I want advice. How does one let their natural submissiveness come to the surface when life has taught them to hide their submissive side and be "independent".

thank you in advance.

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Nov 23, 2018

Be yourself. Don’t try to fit into someone else’s idea of who a submissive is. Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t one or that you need breaking. The right person will want you as you are and see your potential immediately.

Low{BLK OWND} • Nov 23, 2018

Some subs are bratty and some Doms like it
But one thing that has helped me is to be owned by someone I completely trust
I couldn't be truly submissive otherwise
It's also good for me to know when my Dom has had enough of any particular behavior I am exhibiting and when to cut the crap and obey

Re: How to be a better submissive

ineedja​(switch female) • Nov 24, 2018

Submissive behavior is known - are you always wanting to make people smile?
Sub/slave rules can be memorized to point or brainwash....is that what you wish?
You have the power to be what you want to be.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Nov 24, 2018

If you're truly submissive, just be you.

Forcing yourself to be something you are not is not healthy. Perhaps BDSM as a kink may be more your style if you arent submissive 24/7 and just have desires to submit now and then.

If you do believe you are a lifestyle submissive, then do research. Learn what it means to be what you are, developed your wishes and desires, what you want out of a Dom, and go from there.

A great read for learning about the lifestyle is "Leading and Supportive Love" by Chris M. Lyon. It does a great job at helping you to figure our where you stand - Are you a Dom? Sub? Vanilla? You'll know for sure by the end i guarantee it. It's really cheap and available online.

Read the resources given on here. Browse already written forums. Get to Googling. There are so many things out there to help. You just gotta find the right tools for you.

Best advice though is just be you, and if submissive us what you truly are, it will come naturally.

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Nov 24, 2018

drop the desperately word of your vocabulary.
The day you will connect with your Dom, all will unfold in front of you and gradually you will submit completly to him. It will take time to find one, and it will time again to let your sub side out.

TheJackdaw​(switch male){Collared} • Nov 24, 2018

Totally agree with Dark Fox and FabSeverus - it takes the right dom to bring out the sub that you both seek

VioletSy521​(sub female) • Nov 24, 2018

Totally agree with the other posts...
Meeting a Dom that is a match for you would help.

I initially fought with the idea of being a Top or a Switch...but once I finally understood submission, it clicked-for me...

***I am in NO WAY an expert, but***

The idea of submission to a Dom brings me pleasure, joy and brings a sense of calm to my very busy life.
It is something that would come naturally.

If you’ve ever played sports...there are great coaches. One’s that inspire, mentors that you just want to do your very best for...

At least that’s how I look at it.?

VioletSy521​(sub female) • Nov 24, 2018

Sorry meant Bottom/ Switch.

Cilantro​(dom male) • Nov 24, 2018

Definitely communicate with your potential Dom your needs and possible "weaknesses" and lack of experience as a sub, then just go slow from there.
I would be just a matter of taking small steps towards your desired state.