In Need of a Community Voice and Opinion

Devil's damsel​(sub female){HandsomeDe} • Nov 26, 2018

Missub you are not going “through a rough time”.

You DO NOT have the physical or mental ability to give Leo what he needs as a sadist. He has always been honest with you and it is YOU who has portrayed herself falsely. If you don’t have it in you to submit fully to everything he needs, walk away...no...don’t walk.... RUN!

You both need to find what you are looking for. This story does not end with the two of you together. Stop running and crying to whoever will listen to your sob story, and listen to the man who is telling you that you are not enough for him and never will be. Stop hanging on and let go.

Devil's damsel​(sub female){HandsomeDe} • Nov 26, 2018

Also, Phanes...have you spoken to Leo even once about all this before labeling him as a “predator”. He has NEVER been anything but honest about his preferences and methods to ANYONE who asks or listens.

You hear one side of this story, given to you by a “shivering chihuahua” of a girl and put a ridiculously inflammatory post like this up?!? You shouldn’t speak of what you do not know.

You speak of him being narcissistic, well buddy, that is exactly how I would describe you, your antics in chat, and your blogs. P.S. you need a proofreader.

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Nov 26, 2018

well that was an intense post and should be read by a few new subs.
3 things come out of it.
!/ missub I am bit concerned about few words you said "He’s angry and frustrated and has little patience" this kind of reactions a sadist shouldn't have in my opinion.
2/ Leo should know with his experience how to choose the right subs, its clear that his taste are not for average wananbe sub, regardless if some want to try a bit of a rought ride, he's obvioulsy pass behond that kind, more like mikki kind.
3/ subs who want to be at that level need to start maybe a bit slower, its a mind set and you need to know yourself why you want to do it. Also it doesn't have to be a corporal/physical one. Research before you put yourself into the wrong kind of Dom.

Missub​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2018

Docile Damsel,

I don’t know you and, most importantly, you don’t know me. I am not here to insult, belittle, or name call anyone. I respect other’s choices and opinions. As such, I will respect your opinion on the matter. However, I will not allow you to insult me in any way. There is no need to be disrespectful to make your point across.

As you have graciously pointed out to Phanes that he heard only one side of the story...I will say the same to you. As far as I know, I have not been reached out by you to find out my side of all of this. Therefore, your opinion is based solely on what He has told you. Though I don’t have a doubt in my mind that He didn’t lie to you about anything He might’ve told you...you still did not hear the “story” as a whole.

You are not the author of this story and it is not for you to decide how it will end. Whether or not He and I end up together...well...that is something that will be decided by the two us alone. Your opinion is just that...an opinion. It is not a deciding factor on our future (or lack thereof if we both decide it).

He has been brutally and rawfully honest with me and I have done the same with Him. I have never lied to Him about anything I’ve ever told Him. If He feels I have portrayed myself falsely, as you’ve said, it’s something that will be discussed privately between Him and I.

If you wish to discuss this further in private with me...I invite you to message me whenever you’d like. I have nothing to hide. If you wish to continue this conversation in here...then I will kindly ask you to refrain from insulting or disrespecting me in any way. We can get our points across and still be civil with each other.

Miki • Nov 26, 2018

Fab-- I saw that. Exactly. (Though you stuck in an extra "k". Finally we agree on something. I know what I like and it's a bit more than the usual D/s situation and while I can't speak for all who are masochists, I take different strokes from different folks.

DocileDamsel-- that's harsh-- but necessary. We're in a riskier bit of business than "ordinary guy meets doll". When one responds to a person describing him or herself as a "sadist" it's more than a "dom or domme". Be sure it's really what you (rhet) want.

KittySunflower​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2018

Woah!!!! @docile damsel...
I have to agree and disagree. Please be respectful while getting your point across.

This is an emotional topic.

I don't know any of the parties involved or the entire story. I can only say based on my past and even then there are always 3 sides to a story... you have what she said, what he said, and what the truth is in between all that mess.

I know my past did involve abuse but not sure about this.

Again to each his own. Choose wisely!! No one is talked into this or has a gun to their head.
Know the Dom and know the Sub... If said Sub at any point is no longer good for said Dom then said Dom should end things and vise versa.

Shiro​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2018

Ok. Point blank. No names were spoken. It's not fair to threaten someone for being what you call a "white knight." My mother was killed by a domestic abuser. I for one WISH WITH ALL MY FUCKING POWER that someone would have stepped in and done something.

People's well being/life is more important than catering to some internet 'rule of engagement'. GTFO here with that shit dude.

Miki • Nov 26, 2018

All due respect there is a world of difference between a victim of spousal abuse and someone who is in an online BDSM relationship with someone who is a bit heavy-handed. She doesn't need to try and flee, she doesn't live with him. She can break the internet link and if he doesn't get the message she can block him in here, her emails and whatever other means he uses to get to her. However if it is the guy who posted to this thread on the first page, it seems if she breaks it off he'll move on.


Don't confuse wife batterers with fully open and honest sadists. The wives of these men did not marry the "batterer" they marry a brutal bastard who is good at hiding his darker and in too many cases, deadly side.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 26, 2018

I think that pointing out the possibility of white night syndrome is realistic here.


I'm not saying that this is definitely what is happening here.

I am saying that it is a common motivator that can lead to irrational polarization of a situation.

For examples the submissive is portrayed as wonderful, honest, pure beautiful, amazing person and their D type is an absolute ogre with no redeemable qualities.

There is accountability on all sides here.

When someone writes about these situations I look for words/perceptions that are perhaps more balanced.



I am greatful that the conversation about abuse/BDSM is happening.


Thank you Miki and Shiro

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Nov 26, 2018

Really?

"I feel a personal responsibility to act as a voice and a vanguard for those who may be living such abuse now"

White. Knight.