1 year ago • 12/07/2018 8:54 pm
PappaBear(dom male) • 12/07/2018 8:54 pm
While the idea that some Doms do seem to "collect subs" as a means of adorning their Dom/me belt is a fair and valid point AND that some subs may seek out multiple Doms as a means of getting extra attention, I submit there are many different reasons for both practices that have nothing whatsoever to do with either reason described as such...
Are you only a slave? Are you only a masochist? Are you only a little, fuck slut, pain slut, blah blah blah.... NOPE! Probably not. So if you can't find a Dom that you click with that fulfills all of your needs, who the hell is to say you as a person (<-- yeah, I said it) should be less entitled to find a situation through 2 or more Doms that you do click with and who can fulfill those needs? There is no reason two intelligent Doms (yeah, I know in many cases it's an oxymoron) and CARING Dom/mes can't work out a simple share plan... Gee, off the top of my head how about alternating weeks for instance to give the sub what they truly need and not feed an ego. This does NOT make you weak or a Service Top. To my mind, it's a sign of true Dominance to be comfortable enough in your own self to set aside that ego and realize that that person who you connect with may have needs that you do not address. It means you have been able to Master that primal baby like urge to cry "mine!"
You are a person FIRST. A person who identifies as X, Y, and or Z. This is YOU not THEM. THEY do not get a say in what makes you tick or what your needs should be. They have the option to take it or leave it. Just as you have the option to take or leave their offer.
Still not there? Ok try this...
This guy has the best, but not the only, bread in town and does not sell water. He tells you, you may buy my bread, but if you do, you can't drink water from the only water well in town... Are you really going to buy that bread and die a week later of dehydration?
I sure hope your answer was no. The Bread may be any one or set of needs you have. The water... same thing. The point is simple... Man cannot live by bread alone. Neither can a sub. So if you as a Dom see you can't live up to and fulfill that need in a potential or you've already entered into an agreement with your sub, would you really let them dehydrate and wither because you can't pull your head out of your "entitled" ass?
Now, let's look at the Dom's collection... Is it not possible that a Dom/me might find another more selfless reason to collect subs than to add to a bloated ego... of course it is. We're not all C3-PO. (Get it, get it, we're not all protocol droids) If you are Domming by the book, ugh boy did you miss the boat. It's not a one size fits all life folks. Same rules apply to the Dom as a person as a sub... I have a sub that can't fulfill this, but this one does... I connect emotionally with this one but this one wants me to use them however I see fit with no emotional ties. Or what if it's a case of picking up and nurturing strays (yeah, totally me). You see them bent and broken and you pick them up and brush them off, give them some warmth and love ready, to send them on their way... and damn it if you don't get attached. Most of the time it's not too hard, but sometimes you come across one that just melts your big ole Grinchy Dom heart.
Full disclosure: I have been sick for 3 days with a splitting headache, fever, and dizziness. If any of this feels like an attack on someone I assure you it is 100% coincidence.