Being a feminist and a submissive female

curiouskittyy​(sub female){GentlemanX} • Feb 5, 2019

@Sayne,

I can see what you’re saying but I think what it comes down to is choice. Your submissive chooses to give you power and thus submits to you willingly after trust has been built. I personally don’t believe feminists and submissives are contradictions in terms. A submissive exchanges power, not control. Feminism fought for choice. So in my humble opinion, someone can absolutely be both.

For example, as an active feminist, I CHOOSE to be strong and independent in my career and daily life, but submissive to a carefully picked Dominant. I may also CHOOSE to be more Dominant with a submissive at times.

The bottom line is ...that being submissive doesn’t take away anything from any other role. You actively choose to hand over power for a certain amount of time (however long that may be - you decide). You can also choose to revoke this at any time.

Sayne​(dom male) • Feb 5, 2019

Good morning Asteria,

I must be suffering from some type of eerie kaleidoscope vision this morning, as I somehow looked right past your reply and continued on to address CuriousKitty (who btw, might be your soul mate). Then, as i read over your profile, for the life of Pi I couldn't find where you would elaborate on why I would be wasting my time and yours to PM you with my "Are these doms boring you" submissive pick up lines. After scrolling up and down feverishly a couple on times, I finally found your reasoning tucked right there in the middle of your profile. Admittedly, I've been through a couple of tough D/s splits, and had to referee a few others, and read about dozens more, but I've never felt such emotion, the deep passion and hurt as I did when read your words. It took me aback, so much that I began to reflect on the mentsl state of the submissives that I failed, or those who walked away because of a genuine belief they could not serve me as they felt I deserved.

You truly made me hurt for them, perhaps this was needed closure on my end and I thank you for that. It had such an impact, I had to push back my upcoming conference call by half an hour. I wish I could send you a photo to show I'm not making that up, but I work in healthcare and my Outlook is full of personal/medical information. I hope that you will one day be able to move past what must have been a life altering event, because its abundantly clear how important this is to you, as I can relate to your passion. If ever you would like to talk through this, discuss our different ideas about kink, life, or even something trivial like replacing famous action movie stars with romantic comedy leading men and the plot impact it would have on both movies, I'm your huckleberry, and will full heartedly respect your well defined criteria regarding relations. This is my first day on The Cage and I'm yet to make a friend, so you would be doing me a favor.

Asteria​(neither female) • Feb 5, 2019

@Sayne,

It would be good if forum was a place of general discussions, not a place to exchange personal messages. Hijacking a thread is... well, uncalled for. And no this is not an invitation to send me PM, I am not interested in that, thank you.
Also, it would be good to reflect on some other things, not only other people's state of mind.

Sayne​(dom male) • Feb 5, 2019

It's unfortunate when a guy leaves his comfort zone and attempts to open up for a change, just to have it thrown back in his face. What a disappointment, I was actually beginning to look at this discussion topic from a different perspective, see if I could do my best to relate to the the opposite end of the spectrum. with all due respect, it's negative people like you who make comments like rhat one, who setback any social acceptance of the feminist movement, in my opinion. Hijack a thread, please, I took a HUGE leap and tried to REALLY understand why you ladies feel the way you do. In order to achieve this, I read each of your profiles so I could grasp a better understanding of who each of you are, instead of read your replies with a from a mute voice. I must have been misled by the articles I've read, all with the shared advice that a man should take the time to read a woman's profile before prematurely assuming he knows everything about her though a photo. I apologize for my attempt at trying to be diligent instead of replying to you without knowing anything about the context of your way of thinking.

Should I have sent that to you in a PM, perhaps, but judging by your reply to my sincerity, I'm certain you would have lashed out at me and tell me you don't know me well enough to communicate privately, and that I should have posted my comments on the discussion board instead, typical. Well, it didn't take long from one apple to spoil the bunch, just as I'd really started to believe this site how to maturity and a non-judgmental philosophy amongst members. That's my fault, I should have known better. For the record, this entire thread it's about listening and understanding others State of Mind in order to better understand ones own, but I guess I'm the one that doesn't understand what this is topic is about, because I'm a guy. I won't ramble on I'm insulting and snarky tone, and say the things that I really feel about your comment and why you took the time to actually think about, type out, and post, just to take a shot at someone you don't know and shouldn't pretend like you understand. That, would be hijacking the the thread. Either way, it's your loss, I happen to be one hell of a friend, conversationalist, and when I need to be, one hell of a shoulder to lean on.

Sayne​(dom male) • Feb 5, 2019

To be perfectly clear, Kara and CuriousKitty, my comment above was isolated to the one individual I addressed, and by no means meant to encompass either of you by proxy. I will not allow this one unfortunate instance to Sully what I'm hoping will be a refreshing change to the normal BDSM sites. Additionally, I'll take no offense to it if either of you feel the need to stand up for, or defend your fellow woman for the sake of being part of a group of like-minded individuals.

Asteria​(neither female) • Feb 5, 2019

"I took a HUGE leap and tried to REALLY understand why you ladies feel the way you do"

Dude, the truth is simple really. A submissive can be a feminist. It is her choice as a independent individual. It's not a rocket science, so you don't need to take any leap to understand it.

What I "muted" was something that did not have anything to do with OP's post and following discussion. But I guess that's not a rocket science either.

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Feb 5, 2019

This is why I am a feminist: because I see the world as a person, not as a woman. My ideas and my thoughts shouldn’t be seen as a woman speaking out, but as an individual.

Were I to I to post agreement with Asteria, it wouldn’t be defending a woman, it would be agreeing with the ideas of another human.

You don’t need to get “it”. This was a topic addressed to women about how they reconcile two outwardly opposing beliefs. Not one request for Dominant viewpoints was made. There’s nothing for you to understand because the situation posed by the original poster does not apply to you.

ropefish • Feb 5, 2019

Here's the reason why there is no conflict between feminism and submission: submission has no gender.


A submissive woman does not submit because they are women. They submit because they are a submissive. A submissive is a submissive, regardless of what they identify as, what pronouns they use, what's in their pants or what's on their birth certificate.

As has been previously stated in this thread, feminism is advocating choice. Feminism is about not forcing people into a box because of their gender. It is a movement centered around women because historically women have been forced into roles that they did not want, but it is, at its core, about equality for all.
So as long as you aren't claiming that women can't take dominant roles in kink, or that men can't be submissive, then there is nothing about submission that would contradict feminism.

I feel like the reason this gets called into question in the first place is due to the lack of representation for minorities in kink (specifically dominant women, submissive men, and LGBTQ kinksters), which is something I hope will improve over time.

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Feb 5, 2019

[quote="Sayne"]I will not allow this one unfortunate instance to Sully what I'm hoping will be a refreshing change to the normal BDSM sites. Additionally, I'll take no offense to it if either of you feel the need to stand up for, or defend your fellow woman for the sake of being part of a group of like-minded individuals....

It's negative people like you who make comments like rhat one, who setback any social acceptance of the feminist movement...[ /quote]

Not a woman or a submissive. Have a cookie and a gold star for all your effort in 'trying to understand'. Listening isn't hard. Listen to the women here. They're right.

As for that last quote...your mysogenism is clear as day. Feminism is not a 'movement' striving for social acceptance, and they don't need to shut up and say only nice things to be approved, nor do they need or care about your approval. Try harder.

Edit: formatting

Sayne​(dom male) • Feb 5, 2019

Kara,

I understand where you are coming from and respect you're opinion. I, at no time, claimed your thoughts or opinions were not your own, I said I would understand if you were to defend her, much like I might defend a fellow Astros fan on a message board if I saw they made am irrational argument and were called out on it. You are putting words right in to my mouth, I assume, another ageless feminist vendetta.

This topic has everything to so with me. It was posted in a Dominant Men/submissive women category. I AM a Dominant man, and it would behoove me to know the mindset amd way of thinking if my submissive ever decides to go rouge feminist.