Conversation Starter: Define Domination

Conversation Starter: Define Domination

KarmaCollar​(dom female) • Jan 12, 2020

Feel like things get a little stale around here sometimes, so thought I would start some conversation topics..

Like the 'submission' thread, I'd like to hear (as either a Domme or sub) what your personal idea of Domination is/should be/isn't.

Dommes: How much control do you need to have over a sub's body/personal life? What kind of reactions do you want to see the most? What kind of responses to commands are unacceptable or wear thin too quickly? What do you think when you see other Dommes go over your own limits with their sub (not criticizing or expecting action- I want to know how you FEEL watching someone do things just the way you WOULDN'T)? Do you differentiate private from public expectations with dominance?

subs: What's the first thing you want a Domme to ask of you? What do you expect to be expected of you? How much control of your non-kink life do you want your Domme to have (or TAKE)? What do you expect your Domme to take for granted as a given with you in her control and what do you think you should/shouldn't have to ask for? What's the minimum controlling aspects you need to consider a woman dominant enough to keep your interest and what is too soft? What about the maximums?

Like the other, I'm not asking for generic responses of, "everyone's different- some need this some need that" --again-- we all know we're different. What is YOUR answer?

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jan 12, 2020

Dominance is like porn.
You know it when you see it.
Or feel it.
Or jack off to it.

Defining Dominance

Johnny slave sub​(sub male){I'd most w} • Jan 15, 2020

I am a true submissive male who has seriously been in a few Female Led Relationships. For me, it is the only way I can truly be in a relationship with a Woman. For me, my submission to a Woman is true and real without pretense. Your questions ask for expectations. As a submissive male, I know that a Female Led Relationship is ALL about the Woman..not about me.
I have strong/heavy limits that I do need to be respected always, but as a sub...I know that I must need to be open to much else. I'm not a doormat who'd never speak up, but I'd need to accept what comes to be the final word on a matter from my Woman. A dominant Woman...knows that She has the final word. She can ask for my views/opinions or ideas on things and I'm happy when a Woman does this. She might agree with me, but She might not. I need to accept Her final decision.
Being submissive, it's not my place to have expectations, but to learn the ways, wants, desires, rules and teachings of my Woman. She can be as domineering/controlling as She pleases to be. In charge just over a few matters or over nearly all I'd do.
She could set just a handful of rules and/or protocols...or a great many. She could expect me to come to Her asking Her permission for merely a few things...or for nearly all I'd be wanting to do for my own self. First and foremost, my place is to please, serve, honor, submit and obey Her. A Woman who knows this and lives by this in a Female Led Relationship...is to me... living the very essence of what dominance means to me.

Tieman15​(sub male) • Feb 2, 2020

Domination is the physiological control a woman has over me. Im more into online softball domination. Usually the first rule is how to address the dom. This is a show of respect and control. Rule compliance is a sub requirement. When a dom does.not allow me to ask questions is submission at its best. Asking a dom for permission is also submission. In the end obediance and loyalty are key. Thanks

Erick​(sub male) • Feb 2, 2020

I want her to ask me to give her my best sales pitch about why she should take any interest in me at all.

I expect to be trained to obey her. And to please her. But once I have proved to her my willingness to be attentive and infallibly obedient in certain basic ways, I hope that she will actually be kind and generous to me and permit me quite a lot of freedom, with the understanding that the freedom is always earned, and depends on how well behaved I am and whether my duties to her are complete.

I take it for granted that she will always be sensible about things that are truly dangerous to my health and well-being--socially as well as physically. Which is not to say she cannot punish me mercilessly. She can.

I should have to ask her permission only for those things that are important and that she might not otherwise know about.

I don't think I'd be interested unless she was at least very strict about how many orgasms I would be allowed to have. And unless she was willing to go to the trouble of punishing me severely--just as a cure for my generally reprobate nature, if for no other reason--at least once every two months. And at the other end of the spectrum, I hope she would not beat me more than once every two weeks, unless I was being an undeniably and inexcusably bad boy.

Dunimos​(dom male) • Feb 10, 2020

I think the most complete description of dominance can be found in Aristotle's book entitled "Politics ".

While it goes into many other topics on as well, it lays out power and goes into the idea if "natural slavery". A search for Aristotle's view on natural slavery will lead you to it. Worth the read in my opinion.

Hes my favorite philosopher of all...
I mean hell, he made Alexander great right?

IowaDom​(dom male) • Feb 12, 2020

Domination? I would offer, for myself,...

"The earned honor of holding and protecting the angelic gift of your sub's submission. To be ever diligent in your duty to protect, develop, and keep your sub from harm and to honor all covenants and agreements made with them.

What Im expecting

tmo50nv​(sub male) • Feb 20, 2020

As a sub male want to be? I would hope my domme partner would explain what she wants and how far she"ll go. I would hope she would bring me along slowly, and would incorrage me to go or take a bit more? She would monitor my progression and reward me when goals were achived?

Terry

MegsDandelion{Obviously } • Feb 20, 2020

I really like this topic, and think it should be discussed a lot more. Especially since aligning kinks/expectations/wishes is one of the most difficult things out there and you're unlikely to find someone that matches perfectly. Which in my opinion is only natural.

As a sub, I do most definitely have preferences and notions for both for my domme's expectations and my own.

My interest in being dominated is both psychological and sexual. As a slightly neurotic person, it helps me to be guided, but mostly to have a firm personality to support mine.

Sexually, I definitely want/expect a lot of effort from my domme. I know I do. I'm not going into the specifics, but I just want to denote that I recognise the amount of work that goes into physically dominating someone.

Therefore, it only makes sense to me that my domme's expectations at least match mine, and may also contain subjects that don't necessarily do anything for me. A good example is making all basic chores my own. I don't feel anything for doing dishes, but if my domme tied me up last night and took an hour to lay a perfect shibari artwork on me, at least I can pick up the trash. As such, I fully expect an active domme to expect this and most chores done by me. I don't like to think of it as an exchange, but it makes sense to me to put more effort into serving someone, in all ways, who puts effort into keeping me under her thumb. It's basic slavery. Hit them harder, get more pyramids built.

(Best of both worlds, is of course a combination. Chain a sub's cage to the kitchen counter until all dishes are done. Practical fun!)

So conclusively, I think it's about balance. I wouldn't want my domme to only have domestic expectations of me and I'd feel shockingly guilty if it were the other way around. Though full disclosure: long term captivity is on my kink bucket list and I'd be terribly useless during that time.

On a more naughty level, and this is because I'm into it, I expect her to always prioritize her climax over mine, to have her way with me at any time she likes, to restrain or cage me whenever she likes and to be acutely aware that I'm always at the ready to worship her.